Inseparable Couples – Great Love or Dependency? – 24 Apr 10


One day I was talking with one friend about the topic ‘Freedom in Relationships’. I told her my opinion which I expressed in writing in the last days and that I believe couples have to spend time together. She said ‘But isn’t it horrible when you have a couple as friends and they always are of the same opinion, they can never decide one without the other? They don’t even have the freedom to have their own opinion or to go somewhere without the other one!’

As an answer I first had to say that it always depends on the persons whom you are talking about. Sometimes this can happen because of insecurity. Two people are nearly glued to each other and when you ask one of them, he will always first turn to her and vice versa to search for the answer. Then it is true, they are not really together because they enjoy freedom and love but they are together because they need the other one to help with decisions. The reason is fear and emotional insecurity. When two people are insecure and they find each other, then it sometimes doesn’t matter if the other one can give love or just some security.

You are right, that is not real freedom because each of the two is afraid of being with the other one. This concept is far away from the idea of wanting to be together every minute of life just because of love. That is what I want, closeness always, because of love, not because of fear. And then love will give you security in a very positive way. Just enjoy, be free as you were as a single but with your full heart and soul in your relationship!

Today Annick drove us from Bocholt to Rhede and this is how, when we had ice-cream today, we were missing Konsti and his lovely family.

5 Replies to “Inseparable Couples – Great Love or Dependency? – 24 Apr 10”

  1. Has anyone ever heard of co-dependency? Once I found out what it was I began to notice a great many couples leading co-dependent lives with each other. there is no love or happiness in this, there is only drama and would be better to be in pain and alone and become stronger than to be together constantly wounding each other without making any decisions for yourself.

  2. inseparable couples are so adorable. Me and my boyfriend are ALWAYS together, we love each other, it just doesn’t make sense not to spend all your time with someone like that.

  3. I think a lot of times it is dependency, so hard to know how to be whole inside yourself and also be together without losing self. such a delicate balance.

  4. I think there is a fine line between being dependent and just being very close and in love. There is nothing wrong with spending lots of time and closeness with the one you love deeply, but you shouldn’t lose yourself in the relationship. You should always know who you are without the other person– what makes you unique, special, and different from your lover? You shouldn’t just derive your whole identity from your relationship with your partner. Time together is amazing but I think time alone is even more important. It will keep you in balance with yourself so that you can be your best possible self in the relationship.