I mentioned already that people often have difficulties to surrender and devote in relationships. It has to do with the upbringing, the culture and of course with each person individually. For some it is easier than for others. However I always believe you should make an effort to be really together, to live life together and not two separate lives apart from each other so that you sometimes meet, just like you meet your friends. Otherwise I would not call it partnership or relationship but just two people who live together, roommates, friends.
Some couples are very proud to tell that they do something together. Proudly they say ‘We went on holiday together’. Do not get me wrong, I am not talking about two people who just met some weeks ago. No, people who have been married for more than ten years say this. Isn’t it just normal that you go on holidays together? You are in love, you are a couple, of course you do things together.
I say this because I sometimes have the impression that people have a relationship simply because you are supposed to have one. How is the ‘normal way of life’ in eyes of society? You go to school, learn for a profession, in that time or in the beginning of your career you meet someone, you date, you flirt, you meet, you fix your relationship, you marry and many times the next step are children. I think it is still the common picture of life in people’s minds even though the ‘single life’ is more and more often seen, too. So I believe if you only are in a relationship because you need to be able to say that you have a partner but you do not spend any time together, it is not really a relationship. Why do you need it then, just leave it. No, go for love, not just for easy comfort with some compromises. Your love is out there, go and get it!
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I know a girl, who I am very fond of, who never really understood having relationships. she used to come to me crying sometimes because she didn’t really care about finding a mate but she seemed to be the only one her age who didn’t either have a partner or didn’t spend lots of time and effort trying to find one.Why do people feel the need to couple all the time? I asked myself that question and didn’t know the answer. But this girl had a very successful life. She shouldn’t have to feel bad. But she does, and I think that people naturally feel bad for her too. I know I did because it is so hard to understand life being worth something without someone to share it with.
you really think it works to have lives together instead of having two completely separate ones? That seems backwards to me. How can you love each other when you are in each other’s business all the time?
My wife and I had to work on this hard. We took the plunge and combined bank accounts, after having already been married ten years! We began doing more things together and actually working through the rough patches instead of silencing them. It has been a hard road but we are inseparable now, in a way that seems very healthy to me. Six months ago I wouldn’t have believed this was possible.
I do think many people fall into these routines that society imparts on us…but they feel empty in them. They do what is expected of them because they think it will make them happy– if countless others throughout history have done this, shouldn’t I? Isn’t it the best way? People have forgotten how to follow their hearts. They are afraid to be different and pave a new path for themselves. But they will be disappointed with these routines of emptiness. I hope people can find their way back to their hearts.