Feeling easy and comfortable with religious-minded People in London – 29 May 11

I remember that I celebrated my birthday in that year, the 14th October 2001, in London with that family who was expecting offspring soon. I was anyway there to give program and several people had gathered as usual to my lectures and rituals. They surprised me with the very first birthday cake of my life. In India we don’t have this tradition of eating birthday cakes, but I knew from television or stories that I had heard, that this tradition exists in western culture. So in London my birthday was celebrated in this way for the very first time. I think I remember that they had even written ‘Swami Ji’ on top of it. I enjoyed that celebration very much.

It was all in all a really nice time in London. I had several programs in different homes and houses in London, always with religious and spiritual Indian families. I liked being with them especially because it was different from what I knew from India but still familiar enough.

I was actually trying to be as much time as possible out of India as it had become too intense for me there. As I mentioned, after the cave I did not feel comfortable in my guru role anymore. In India, whenever someone came to meet me and I was sitting on a sofa or a chair, my visitors would sit on the floor in front of me. They would sit at my feet, looking up at me, wishing and believing that some wisdom, energy and strength would flow from me to them. This had started making me feel really uncomfortable after my time in the cave and it was this feeling which had made me leave India like this in the first place.

This was different in London. They were all religious Indian people but they were nevertheless a little bit western, too. They had respect and gave me love as a holy person but while I was sitting on the sofa alone in India, they were sitting next to me in London. They did not sit lower and in front of me but sat next to me, on the same level. There were still many traditional rituals and behavior but there seemed to be much less drama than in the scene in India. I felt more comfortable and felt as though I had made friends, rather than disciples.

In that time I had the feeling that it is really much better for me to do program in Europe, in the UK and in other places than in India, although the groups were much smaller.

While I was in Great Britain I also spoke to my Indian friend in Germany on phone again. He told me that I was welcome in Itzehoe, where he lived, and that I should come by and stay some days with him again. I decided to do this and this is how I found myself again in a plane to Germany, when all my program in London was over.

Denial of Sexual Relation by Gurus, their Wives and Followers – 11 Mar 11

In the last week – because of the news of Prakashananda – I once again wrote about fake gurus and their sexual behavior which is often abusive. There are many gurus who have faced such charges, just like Nithyananda and not rarely this kind of incident comes to light because there are several women involved. There are however also a lot of big gurus who are more steady and actually have one woman by their side who is like a girlfriend or wife. This woman however is never recognized as a partner.

Usually each guru has a group of close disciples who are always with him. They are higher in their ‘hierarchy’ and have more responsibilities and rights. And on top of them all is often a woman. She has the right to come to the guru’s bedroom each night. They are always together, in public she sits by his feet and she is the one to bring the guru the most important things that he needs.

Everybody sees that. Everybody knows that the guru is sleeping with her, shares meals with her and lives with her. But she will never be called his wife. She will never be called his girlfriend. He will never accept her in this role in public and none of his disciples would like to hear this.

What would happen if these gurus accepted their women in their lives? Why don’t they? Well, they would not be able anymore to call themselves Sanyasi. They would lose their guru status because that is based on the assumption that they are celibate, that they have no bodily needs and basically, clearly speaking, that they don’t have sex. So their special status would vanish and along with it many disciples.

I want to ask these gurus, why don’t you accept this woman openly in your life? You are not doing anything wrong! You are not having sex parties, raping women, molesting children and teenagers or abusing anyone, you are only having a relationship! If you hide this relationship, then you are doing something wrong. You are not honest!

In reality however all those disciples know about those women! What about you, the disciples? You give your guru the status that he has although you know exactly that he does what you believe is wrong. If you anyway know that he has a girlfriend or wife, why would you be angry if he accepted her? You keep on calling her a close disciple and not girlfriend or wife although they are intimate with each other and sleep with each other. Are you not a hypocrite yourself?

I actually pity that woman who is always hidden and never accepted as who she really is! I also see Indian Swamis and Gurus who have found their partner for life in the west. They have a white woman always by their side, their ‘very close disciple’. When I see this, I wonder very much. You, a woman from the west accept this role? Indian women should not hide their relationship either, but I know that they grew up in this culture. You however grew up in a culture where relationships are open, where you would not hide even merely sexual relationships, so why do you accept this game as it is? Why don’t you stand up and say to your guru-partner ‘Hey, accept it as it is and accept that we have a sexual relation, that we love each other and that we are a couple!’ You are not doing anything wrong, only hiding your relationship is wrong.

I don’t have to name any specific person here because there is a long list and there are many people I know who are in this situation. I have seen this all with my own eyes. Every guru, every follower and anybody who has ever seen this kind of couple will know who I am talking about. They may never tell it but everybody sees it very clearly.

It is funny but at the same time it makes me sad for these people. What kind of dishonest life they must be living, always afraid that someone will speak publicly about their relationship! How horrible this must be for a person’s mental situation? They live in an illusion, not in real life. They know they are together but do they believe everyone else is blind? They must realize that everyone sees it, too. How, I really ask myself, how can they find peace of mind with this knowledge?

Robots Gaining Consciousness – 18 June 10

Yesterday I talked with my friend about our role in this world. Don’t we seem to be like robots in this world, following the system, following our role? We are like puppets playing our piece in this big play. My friend said that in most of those science-fiction movies with robots, the robots gain consciousness while humans are less and less conscious. Those who are conscious become more and more like machines, leaving consciousness. Aren’t we all just robots in this game, trying to find consciousness? Or are we those humans who have left this path?

You can sometimes see that human is just like a puppet in a big play. You think you are in charge but there is something bigger than you. Nature, God, Universe however you want to call it but certain events just show how you are not the one in charge. You can know your body but even if you do, you don’t have full control over it. Nobody knows when, what can happen. Nobody can predict anything. Obviously everybody makes plan but you never know if your plan works out the way you wanted or if there is some other plan planned for you. You may not see it and feel bad that your plan broke apart but the other, bigger plan has planned something good for you. Our plan always changes but I live in the presence and am open to accept whatever comes.

Sometimes this can make it difficult for me to answer what my future plans are.
I believe that if you realize that you are only a part of this big game, you become humble in front of that bigger power. And maybe that is the first step towards consciousness.

Sun Eclipse a Sign of Evil Powers – 20 Feb 10

There is no sure proof of when exactly our planet and all other planets came into existence. Scientists are able to calculate and say it approximately but in the end that, too, is like a rough guess which probably comes close to the truth but nobody can say it exactly. Scientists and research may have one thesis, one calculation of how it most probably could have been.

Religion however, which has its role in all parts of life and an own theory of how everything on earth works, of course also has an own interpretation about how and when this earth was created and how and when life started. Different religions will have different calculations and guesses which can vary very much from each other and again very much from what scientists say. And not only for the age of the planets, where scientists can only guess, for many natural phenomena, too, religion had and even today still has another explanation than the one proved by scientists.

In older times, when science was not as far developed as today, whenever our forefathers were not able to understand something, they related it to God, to religion, to a supreme energy, to the devil or to paranormal powers. They turned to religion for an explanation and it was usually provided.

If you see a sun eclipse for example: Hindu belief is that in the time when the sun is darkened, there are evil powers and sun and moon are in trouble. So when even sun and moon are in trouble, evil powers must be all around us and we need to take good care of ourselves. This is how in the time of a sun eclipse pregnant women and children did not leave the house. After the eclipse was over, they washed themselves and cleaned the house from all the rests of evil which might still be there. 

You may have difficulties believing it but people here still do the same thing whenever there is a sun eclipse, even if it is only a penumbral one. It is funny because it is just a normal thing that happens again and again and of course science has sure proof why this happens. This constellation with the moon in between sun and earth happens regularly and is nothing mysterious but this belief still stayed. Even some well educated people stay inside, keep the children inside and are afraid. For no real reason at all. Interesting to see how big an impact old religious explanations can have.

Today our dear friend Su arrived at the Ashram after a long journey and we are very happy to have her here again.

You are the Hero of your Life – also without Supernatural Powers – 6 Dec 09

I have been talking much about healers and priests and psychics and gurus. And with all these people I feel that they have the urgent wish to be special. A great desire to have something that nobody else has.

Everyone knows the stories of superman and other heroes with great abilities that save the world. In every movie that you watch and every book that you read there will be one hero who is special. If it is an action movie, fantasy, a tragedy or even a romance a book or a movie needs these characters which have great powers, great feelings or great looks. Someone who makes the book worth reading because you hope that the hero turns up and saves everybody, that the perfect man comes and makes the woman’s life complete or that the tough woman walks in and shows to everyone how independent women can be.

Only with this a story keeps the reader’s attention. And I feel that people who tell that they have extraordinary abilities have the wish to be exactly this one character. They think in their life’s story, they have to be in this role. They don’t want to have the side role of just the normal person with good and bad feelings. Or, if they admit to be having bad feelings, then there is another reason for it, for example their extreme vulnerability which cannot be compared to anyone else.

You see, always something bigger, better, deeper, more extreme. Let me tell you one thing: no matter who you are and what you are doing, in the movie of your life you will always have the main role, you will be the hero. So please stop trying to be someone who you are not, leave the ego of wanting to be different and better than others, just be yourself! You are not greater or worse, higher or lower than anybody else. God made you perfectly fine, just as you are.

Do not Be Disappointed if I prefer being in Silence – 5 Nov 09

Even though I know that people many times expect from me to talk much and that they want to hear me, they sometimes can get disappointed. It doesn’t matter if I am abroad and meet people there or if I meet people in the Ashram. I always invite many lovely people, that is just my nature. The doors of my Ashram are always open and frequently people come after an invitation.

Some people then think that in the Ashram they will have more chance to hear me, that I will talk much here because when I am abroad they see me being busy in programs. Those who know me know that I am not a big talker and often just like to be in silence with those who enjoy this with me. So even here in my home, where I could have lots of time to talk, I enjoy being silent.

Of course people who expect me to do big talking when they are here can get disappointed. I can never play the role of the entertainer, it is just not me. I really believe in living what I am saying, it is not only talk. I love to live in peace and silence. When I feel like it, I will have a nice conversation and everybody is welcome to join me for some words. But please don’t expect a lecture or discussion. And of course, it is a precious time being here with family and children in the Ashram. I enjoy playing with the kids without any time or schedule.

Yesterday Dagmar arrived here who will also have a week of Ayurvedic massages and diet according to her body type. She has been to the Ashram before and said in the evening that now it is much more quiet than when she was here last year. In that time many celebrations were going on. This is a pilgrimage city and in the festival time a lot of Mantra chanting and Kirtan singing is going on but sometimes in the year we also have silence. Now at the moment it is more quiet here and we all enjoy it.

Opposing for Getting Attention – 22 Jun 09

There are people who always oppose you in whatever you say. You can even say something of which they are normally convinced, too, but just because you said it, they need to talk against it. And later, if you stick with your point, if you say why you think what you just said, they also agree. But first of all, they have to be against it. It is just their principle and their way of reacting.

I feel it has something to do with wanting attention. These people need to say something so that everybody, and if it is just for one second, looks at them and listens to what they have to say. But the thing is that if you do this too often, nobody will want to listen to that anymore. Many times I see this and always feel that it just creates negativity. Be positive about things. Think again before you say no. Or better feel again, if you really want to say no.

You know, many people often underestimate others. Don’t think the people around you are stupid. Others can feel who and what you are, even if you try being someone else. You can talk against something and everybody knows that you are actually in favour of it. And you can play another role very well but people will feel that this is not your real face. Be honest with who you are and what you feel, I cannot say it often enough.

If you are Homosexual, do not try to look Heterosexual – 29 May 09

Yesterday I wrote about homosexuality and said that it is individual how people feel about this and in which way they want to express their sexuality. I also do not like religious interference in that. What does this have to do with religion? Everybody should be free to live how they want and to express their sexuality how they want.

But I also said that I do not understand it when someone dresses and tries to be the other gender. If you are dressing and behaving like the other gender you do not respect yourself and your body. You want to change your gender and this means that you do not love your own body and cannot accept yourself how you are.

The truth is that you cannot really change it. Then you are not in your originality but you are playing a role. You are living in an illusion pretending to be who you are not. Maybe this also comes from so-called ‘rules’ of society for example that society does not accept homosexuality in the way that it should. And this is maybe why they try to play the role of woman and man. If society accepted homosexuality as another way of expressing sexuality, everybody would be much more free to express themselves. Then we would also no need operations for changing the gender. And a man can still live in his male energy and a woman can live in her female energy although they have partners of the same gender.

And it is absolutely not any sin if a woman expresses her sexual energy and love towards a woman or if a man expresses his sexual energy towards a man. When they play the role of female and male it seems to me as if they were not really homosexual. They play the role of being heterosexual! If you are homosexual, please don’t be ashamed! Live it and don’t try to make something in between your feelings and old tradition. Feel free to live your sexuality!

This is our last evening together with this nice family. We had a very good time together here. On the weekend we will continue the International Yoga Teacher Training course.

Homosexuality and Personality Conflicts – 28 May 09

Once somebody asked me ‚What do you think about homosexuality?‘ I said ‘This is a very personal thing. It doesn’t really matter to me, everything is fully okay if a man decides to have sex with men, or a woman to have sex with women. It is just very individual and depends on the way they feel. There is nothing wrong with that. Everybody can have their own idea, thoughts, fantasy and taste. I have friends who are homosexual and I do not see any problem in that. It is also going on since thousands of years. We should accept this in a natural way.

But I am not really convinced with this concept when I see people dressing and behaving like the other gender, like a man dressed like a woman and behaving like a woman or a woman dressing and behaving like a man. This actually creates a conflict in their personality. It shows that they do not accept themselves how they are made by God. They do not accept their gender. If two men want to have sex with each other, why does one of them have to be or pretend to be a woman? It means that they are playing a role. They go back into the tradition and play a role of who they are not.

Of course they should be accepted by society but I think they should be confident about it. They don’t need to play the role of man and woman. Why can a woman not express their sexuality towards another woman? Why does she need to turn into a man then? I feel that if you do not accept yourself you are creating a conflict in your personality. I don’t see any problem if people have relationships with the same gender but why are you trying to become the other gender? Why can’t you be in the original way as you are? You can still and with honesty express your love in the way you want, if the other person is a man or a woman. This is what I always say: Accept yourself! It is a very interesting topic about which I would like to write more tomorrow.

We are here in Cologne with lovely friends. Antje, Joachim and their son Simon had the very nice idea of inviting 30 friends for today and have a ‘food for food’. This means we cooked for everyone a very nice meal and ate together and they could give a donation for food for the children in India. It was a really nice evening with lovely people and wonderful food. There were also many children and we are happy that they, too, enjoyed the food.

Change in Belief and Consciousness in Ongoing – 10 May 09

Yesterday I wrote that you shouldn’t try to convince others to believe something because your own belief can change. This change is an ongoing process for each soul. The universe we live in has the nature of changing. Each moment and each second there is change everywhere. How many times a year does nature change and how often does the weather change? Everything is changing, it is the normal flow of this universe.

When we were children our belief system was different. We knew only our family and did not believe in more than that. When growing up we got to know our neighbours and believed a bit more. Then we got to know more of this world and with each bit our consciousness changed. This is a process from birth to death and everybody can feel this change.

Of course I talk from my point of view but I believe that everybody can look back in their life and see if their belief system, their consciousness and their mind has changed. If you don’t accept this fact and if you didn’t live according to that, you wouldn’t be honest and maybe would have a life with two faces. These days this is the biggest confusion and conflict in the heart of spiritual people whom I meet. I see too often that they say and do something that they don’t believe in. And this creates psychic problems and makes mentally sick. How long will you play a drama? You have to live in your original consciousness.