Is Monogamy Unnatural?
Is it a mental disorder to have sexual fantasies with someone other than your spouse?
Should you feel guilty if you imagine getting intimate with a beautiful woman or man?
Here in this article, without going into the variation of words on the basis of gender (female/male) or subtle nature (sex/love), I will address them as Mono (one partner trend) and Poly (multi partner trend).
Among mammals, only 3 to 5 percent of species are mono. Some evidence and reports suggest that no mammals are mono. Before Western imperialism, 83 percent of society was poly.
Certainly not all organisms are poly, although mono species are very rare, but some birds such as Geese do not mate with another partner even after the death of their mate.
Scientific research says that humans are of poly tendency. Actually poly propensity is in our genes (DNA). Our forefathers were of poly trend. The existence of man is much older than the concept of marriage.
Based on genetic evidence, there was a significant shift from poly to mono practices around five thousand to ten thousand years ago. What were the social, religious, political and cultural reasons for this change is the subject of a separate article. But even before or after the rise of religions in every corner of the earth in the ancient human civilization, the poly trend is visible in the society. Be it the harem of kings, emperors or nawabs or mythological characters like Krishna, Dasaratha or Draupadi. Islam allows men to have multiple wives, but not women, perhaps because of male dominance. In some tribal tribes, poly trend is found even today in both men and women.
Professor David Barash, a biologist at the University of Washington, writes that because monogamy is not natural, it does not mean that monogamy is not possible or that it is not desirable. David goes on to give examples of how well we actually do things that aren’t easy, like playing the violin.
Scientific studies have concluded that a man’s sexuality is determined by the secretions of hormones in his brain. We have chemicals in our brain and they have receptors. From a chemical and biological perspective, human sexuality depends not only on the specific hormones released in the brain, but also on the receptors for these hormones. The important thing here is that these chemicals and receptors can vary greatly from person to person and depending on the wiring of the brain, one person’s sexuality can be very different from another.
After reading all these researches, it seems that if you have sexual attraction towards someone other than your life partner, then it is very natural. It is also very natural if the symptoms of that sexual attraction are reflected in your body. Actually, sex first appears in your brain and then this message reaches your sexual organs through blood vessels. Now it is a different matter that due to social taboos you cannot touch her or say anything to her, but in your dreams you are doing everything with her, which is considered taboo in the majority mono society.
All this reaction from the brain to the sexual organs is completely natural, hence the poly trend is also natural. Those who have made this poly trend their lifestyle are called swingers in today’s modern language. Millions of couples in the world are living the swinger lifestyle. One more thing, people with poly tendencies also have their own ethics. It’s not like they have sex with everyone, whenever they want!
Even though scientific research and reports describe the poly trend as more natural, but today’s majority of human society is mono. I am not advocating any trend, poly or mono, nor am I telling either one is wrong or right.
This article is not based on any ideology or belief but is based on facts and scientific research. I don’t even want to ask you what is your tendency? Nor do I want to know that if you had the facility of choice, which one would you choose between mono or poly! Because I know that it is very difficult, if not impossible, to answer these questions honestly in the light of social norms.
Forget about scientific research, but if you too find these things close to your experiences (feelings), then definitely tell me. If you disagree with these things and deny them completely, then also let me know.