Today is my appointment at the hospital to get the stitches taken out of my knees. I am already feeling quite good but I am also happy I have another ten days to prepare myself for the flight to Germany. While being in the state that I am in right now, I had to think of the difference that your mind can make when you are injured or ill: you can either enjoy being ill and suffering in this illness or you can decide to just be as healthy as you can.
I have got to know many people in my career of counselling others who just enjoy being ill. They often started off with getting ill once. It was not too bad and when they talked about it to others, they got sympathy – which they liked. Slowly, maybe with their next illness or when their problem continued over a longer period of time, they realized that it was a very comfortable excuse for all kinds of things. Mostly a way to say no without being rude.
Instead of being self-confident and telling others that they didn’t want to do certain things, they told them they couldn’t, due to their illness. Even if that was not completely true, it was easy to say and others had to believe it. They didn’t have to gather the courage and strength to tell the truth, which was that they just didn’t want.
So they just continued being ill. Although they could be fully healthy and normal or maybe just live with a tiny problem, they insist that they are ill. Much more ill than is reality. They are not necessarily fully aware of what they are doing. The subconscious mind is quite powerful in covering up the truth in a way that you like it. You practically make yourself believe that you are ill. The consequence is that you also act accordingly.
Once someone is in that track, he just starts loving his illness so much that he won’t get out of it anymore. He won’t see that people see through his drama. They understand that he is playing a bit more than necessary and they may just play along. Maybe, some will also confront him sometime. That may hurt though and that is the point when people sometimes come for counselling to me.
I generally recommend them to see the joy in healthy living. I don’t say they are not ill at all – who am I to judge upon that in the short time I see them? No, but even if you are ill, just try to act as healthy as possible! Don’t act ill. Keep a regular lifestyle, work around the discomforts that your problem gives you and lead a normal life. Instead of hiding behind your illness and avoiding to stand up for yourself, practice saying ‘no’. Be yourself but enjoy your life!
In the past days I was not only lying around in bed: I was doing my physiotherapy exercises, played with Apra, talked on phone and worked on the computer. Practically, I had normal days just with limited mobility. I did what I normally would do – just while sitting in bed. I don’t like being ill or sitting around in bed and that’s how I simply don’t give importance to it. I do as much as I can – and I think it is helping me to get better more quickly.
Let’s see what the doctor will say today – but I think I will be fit for our flight to Germany in ten days!