Religion and the Idea of Enjoying Sex – 8 Jan 11

In yesterday’s diary I shortly wrote about that question whether you are supposed to have sex only for having a baby or if you are allowed to have sex for pleasure, too. I think I have made my stand pretty clear already. I don’t believe sex is something dirty or something that needs to be a taboo. It is natural.

If you should have sex only for having a baby and not for pleasure, you are actually right to have sex only when a woman is fertile. So calculating the dates would not be bad idea, otherwise you run the risk of having sex for nothing at all, without any result.

The question that I have now is whether you are allowed to enjoy the sex in that time or not? When you are making a baby, when you are trying to conceive, are you allowed to have fun? I can only guess that the answer is no. I imagine it to be as a duty then. It is your duty to reproduce. What a man has to do, he does, so when it is time, you get ready, do your duty and get done with it. No fun, no pleasure, only a result.

I already mentioned that God gave us this possibility to reproduce. Why, if we are not supposed to have pleasure, did He make it such a pleasurable experience? I was told that in earlier times Christianity told people that this was temptation that God gave us to test if we commit this sin or not. You should have sex without pleasure and of course only with your wife. So you think God, almighty as He is, would not know that everyone of us would enjoy this experience? Do you think God would trick us into becoming sinners? For me this philosophy is too strange to believe in.

In Hinduism and other religions as well as in many sects, this concept exists, too. People can show me scriptures in which somebody a long time ago wrote that sex should be had only for satisfying the urge of nature to reproduce and nothing else. I don’t care who wrote that and in what time. Most of those philosophers have lived hundreds and thousands of years ago, in another time, in other societies and maybe with a fully different thought in their mind than what you interpret into it. These people all were humans like you and me, thinking something and having their opinion. Today you and me think and write something down and maybe in a few hundred years someone will show it to their friends and say ‘See, here is written that we are all allowed to have sex and enjoy it!’ Just because it is old, does not mean it is the ultimate truth applying to all people on earth.

I believe that God gave us the possibility to have sex and made it enjoyable, so why should we not enjoy it?

Is Sex not for Pleasure, only for Reproduction? – 7 Jan 11

I once knew a couple that lives here in India, both coming from the west. In my eyes they are misguided by a sect, in their opinion they have found their destiny here. One day I got to know that they are expecting a baby and with this news I also heard that they had been eagerly waiting for this confirmation that she is pregnant. You could say they have been trying to get pregnant the whole seven years of their marriage and that is the truth. At the same time however you would need to add that they only had sex three times in this whole time! So how does this fit together?

In their philosophy, and I happen to know that their sect is not the only organization following this idea, you should only have sex to reproduce. Their belief is that they should only sleep with each other if you want to have a baby and not for your own enjoyment. Additionally to this belief that sexual intercourse is only for conceiving and not for actual pleasure, they believe that an astrologer can tell you the right day for conception. He will make a full analysis of the stars and counts on which fertile day of the woman the signs of the stars are good. These days are pretty rare though – three of them in seven years. Twice they tried and it did not work. You can imagine their happiness when it worked out the third time.

Of course it is always very happy news to hear about a new life that is coming to this earth. To hear this kind of story along with it however gives it a strange feeling. The first thing is that whatever your sexual activities are, they are private. If you go around and boast either with how much sex you have or also with how little, you are showing off. In one case you are showing off your sexual potential and in the other case you show off your commitment to the rules of your sect by pretending to be celibate whenever you don’t want to conceive. I actually don’t believe this story. Even if it was true, then why are you together? You are suppressing your body and your feelings.

Why do you have the wish for a baby if you do not have the wish for having sex? Do you think sex is something dirty and forbidden? Why? These people claimed to be Krishna devotees but also Krishna always respected natural feeling and action!

Really, again I have to ask everybody who believes in celibacy: how can sex be dirty or forbidden if it is the source of life? It is natural for animals and humans. Why would it only be allowed for making a baby? If it was such a bad thing to have sex, why did God not provide us with the possibility to have babies without having sex?

I think it is a state of mental sickness if you let an astrologer dictate you when you can sleep with your husband or wife. Where does this sickness come from? From the manipulation of brainwashing sects. They want to have as much control over their members of possible. By controlling this strong basic instinct, they of course feel they are powerful. So should you ever be in a meeting with a group of people who want to tell you on what day and at what time you should have sex, it will be best to leave them as soon as possible and never return. Don’t get stuck in controlling sects. Enjoy your life and enjoy your private and intimate life with your partner, too. Live naturally and love each other, that’s it.

Another Chance to Celebrate – 26 Nov 10

As I wrote yesterday, I wanted to tell you about the reason why we made this short trip to Germany now. We will be back in India for Christmas and we are not going to travel around here. We actually came to sign a paper.

Ramona and I met on 2nd April 2007. Two years later – and a few days – we decided to celebrate our love with an Indian wedding on 7th April 2009. Today, another one and a half years later, we celebrated our love again, this time here in Germany. This morning we made our marriage official by signing the wedding document. For us it is not really important to have this paper, it doesn’t change our love and our lives will not change a lot after this day. It may get a bit easier in all bureaucratic questions.

Ramona can stay longer at a time in India, we can look after the Ashram in a better way and some more details that just fit very well now. Our story however was written on the 2nd April and this will also remain the day that we will celebrate as our anniversary.

Nevertheless we had a wonderful day and this official wedding was a good excuse to celebrate. Even although it was on very short notice, some close friends could come to meet us in Wiesbaden. We had a great lunch with sweets that we had brought from India, we talked and laughed, took pictures and had fun.

There are many friends who may now wonder why they have not been invited but you know, whenever we will be close to you, I will find some reason to celebrate again!
Now we will go back to our friends and guests to enjoy a little bit more.

Working, Laughing and Enjoying Pain in Bed – 31 Oct 10

Today early in the morning I got up like each day and went over from the cave to our office, sat down and switched on the computer. So far my morning went like every other day, I was fully fine and everything seemed normal. Then, after some time I had to sneeze and from that moment on my day changed. With the sneeze came a sudden and sharp pain in my lower back. Unfortunately the pain did not leave and when I wanted to get up it was just too painful and I stayed on my chair. It was really intense pain and when I had to go to toilet, Ramona, Purnendu and Yashendu rolled me on my office chair into the bathroom.

Later they helped me to lie on the bed and Yashendu put a hot pack on my back. He and Purnendu kept exchanging the warm towels and as two more friends were in the room Ramona was concerned that the towel covering me should not slide down too low, worrying that nobody should see me naked. I do not really care very much about that but seeing her concern made everybody around laugh. The situation was so funny that I had to laugh, too. Unfortunately from laughing, like from any movement, the pain increased, so I did all what I could to just quietly laugh inside. We were talking, laughing and joking and as every movement worsened the pain, I controlled myself not to shake while laughing.

This is the body, it is just like a machine and you never know what will happen. I didn’t do anything, I just sneezed and not very extravagantly, just normally! Well, I don’t know what movement has caused the pain. I thought it would reduce after some time but it only got better in the afternoon. It got better though and I am positive that soon it will be fine again. Until then I am lying around, working on bed, laughing and enjoying the pain with my family. So there is no reason to worry, just to wonder what a miracle our body is!

Ashram Experience – A Place to Relax – 24 Oct 10

Today in the early morning hours our friends Jens, Regina and Celina left the Ashram. Just two hours before they had to go another friend, Su from New York, arrived. They practically met each other on the doorstep before the family had to get their luggage into the big taxi and drive off towards the airport.

We had a wonderful time with them and they enjoyed their two weeks here very much, too. It was their second trip to India, their second visit to the Ashram, and you could see how they felt at home here. Jens enjoyed working with Babbaji in the garden, Celina played a lot with the boys and Regina and Ramona had long talks in the garden. When Su asked them yesterday where they had been and what they had visited on their trip, they replied ‘Mathura (which is the next bigger town) and Loi Bazaar (the market of Vrindavan) and many times up to the gate and back’. We all had to laugh. They just enjoyed a visit with friends. They have been to the Taj Mahal on their last trip and did not feel a need to go out and do sightseeing. They did not want to be tourist, they just wanted to enjoy being at the Ashram.

It is just beautiful to have friends here. There are not any expectations on what has to happen while they are here and everybody just feels good to be with each other. Of course we don’t keep our visitors from exploring the surroundings, we are happy when they get to see and know the many different facets of life in India. When you are at the Ashram however, you can just relax and enjoy being in India instead of seeing and visiting India. We are happy that our friends gave us this feedback, too.

Now Su arrived and of course our volunteers and retreat participants are still there and in the next week the Ashram will fill with even more people. It is beautiful to be surrounded with lovely people. We think of all friends who are not physically here with us and know that they are with us in their hearts.

Enjoy Life and Show others the Beauty of this World – 8 June 10

Sometimes the human mind and emotions can be funny. From time to time there is an event, big or small, in your day that makes you feel sad or spoil your mood. Other events make you happy and jolly. And then there are people who, when they are in a bad situation, see everything around them as bad. They are fully in that mood then and from alone they don’t seem to be able to come out of it.

They are sitting in a beautiful park, flowers are smelling great and look beautiful and the tree in front of them is full of apples. But they don’t see it. Some thoughts that they can have are ‘Why is that bird so loud?’, ‘It is too hot for the beginning of June’ or ‘The wind is too cold’. And actually they are in their mind fully in their problem, whatever it is, work, family…

Then suddenly an apple falls down from the tree and all they think is: ‘See, even the apples are going bad and fall down! It is a bad day!’ In that mood he is surely no Newton contemplating about gravity and laws of physics. That is just not the right moment.

However there is someone else in the park, too. One person comes along the way, sees how the apple falls down, picks it up, cleans it with his shirt and gives it to the one who is sitting on his bench in a bad mood. ‘Here, for you!’ The man in the bad mood takes it, bites into it and immediately tastes how wonderful this fruit is, sweet and ripe, natural just from the tree. And he cannot help but feel better. The world is already much brighter.

Everybody may need someone at some point who picks up an apple for you. Someone who helps you to see the world in another way, to see the beauty of this world again. That is what I like to do: picking up apples and handing them to others. Do it, show others that life is sweet and that you need to enjoy it. Why otherwise are you in this beautiful park?

And whenever you are tired of picking up apples and sit on the bench yourself, there will be someone to share a half of his apple with you!

Others trying to get you down? Be Happy! – 28 May 10

I am happy these days, life is wonderful. It is beautiful and when you are in this mood, you enjoy everything. You are jolly, you are happy and you meet people in this way. The usual reaction will be that people smile back at you, they are happy, too, that there is a person as happy as you and already you shared a little happiness with them.

However you might also get another experience which Thomas mentioned when I talked with him about this some time ago: some people don’t get happy, they seem to begin searching for something that could make you unhappy. They are jealous and think ‘Why are you so happy?’ and even if they do not realize it, even if it happens subconsciously, they are searching for something to say that could spoil your mood.

Did you ever experience a small mean remark of someone just at a moment when you were really happy? It can be a reminder of a part of your life that is not so well such as ‘That is great but what will your ex-wife/parents/boss think of that?’ or a try to make you afraid like ‘For now you can do this but think about the future/money/your children!’

Don’t let this get you down! If you are in a great mood, you can manage it, whatever will come. If you are happy, you can make connections with other people, you can share and spread your happiness. There are more people who are happy with you than those who are not. And for those who want to put you down, you actually need to see that they are not happy themselves. They need even more happiness than those who can smile with you. So stay smiling and reply ‘Everything will be fine, don’t worry!’

How to Avoid Stress on Holidays – 18 May 10

Yesterday I started writing about stress at the workplace. The interesting thing is that many people have a lot of stress even in their free time.

A friend of mine told me how stressful especially their holidays are. What should be a relaxing skiing vacation can then turn out in a super-stressful stay with each minute being planned for some kind of activity. You have to take courses, you have to achieve something, you have to learn and of course you have to be on time. You have pressure of performing well although it is just something that you would like to do for fun. Just simply for enjoying.

Especially mothers often complain about it that a holiday is not much of a holiday for them because they need to see that everything is perfect, that every child and the husband has all clothes and everything else they need.

For all these situations, if it is the courses and the tight holiday-schedule or the perfect mother, I would like to say, leave all these things at home for the next holiday. Do not make a schedule and pack only a few things. Nothing has to be perfect and nothing has to be perfectly planned. Relax. You are not all the time responsible for everything and often it is only you who expects that. And you don’t need to achieve anything on your vacation except for enjoying. If you want to do a course, do it with fun. If you want to pack many useful things, do it because you enjoy it. But please never get stressed about it!

You might experience a surprise if you manage to relax: a holiday can be a wonderful time which will leave you with a whole lot of memories which are even more funny if things went a little bit different than planned.

Find the Reason behind your Fears for Dissolving them – 14 Jun 09

Yesterday I wrote that I really enjoy my life. And I do! I also enjoy my work very much, whether it is healings or workshops or other things like working on computer with the website. I like what I do and it feels nice when someone tells me that I could help.

Today there was a woman who told me that she is somehow afraid and has lots of fear inside herself. This fear even keeps her from doing things that she enjoys like riding bicycle or going for swimming. But when I asked her of what she was actually afraid, she didn’t know. Maybe it is the fear of dying, she said. I said to her: ‘But you know, this you should not have. Nobody knows when he will die. We could die each minute, each second. And I am always ready for dying.’

She was fully fine a few weeks ago and then she began feeling afraid of small things. And she did not know why this started. I told her that there must be an incident or any reason for this fear to start because just four weeks ago she could go swimming without this feeling. For this kind of fear there is mostly a psychological reason and we need to find that.

As she really had no answer, I told her that I would anyway give her healing and I pray that this will help her to find the reason. At the moment she is like in clouds or in fog, she cannot see clearly when or why this started. But the healing energy, this love, can help her to clear these clouds and to see which thought or incident made her feel afraid. I told her that we can go on working on this as soon as she knows what it was. There is always a reason why we have this kind of fears and as soon as we realize it, it becomes better and we can work on dissolving this reason. And then we can enjoy life again because this is what we are here for.

Prostitution Business – Trying to Buy and Sell Love? – 20 Mar 09

Once a prostitute came for a healing session. She said ‘Swami Ji, I started this work quite early and since ten years I am earning my money with it. I will not give this kind of excuse that I was forced to do this work because it is not true. I can accept and admit that I do enjoy my work. I take it like any other profession involving physical work. I believe in God and I feel myself that I am spiritual. And this is how I had the idea to have a healing session with you. I don’t know what you will be thinking of me and my profession but I wanted to experience this energy work, because I never had a healing before.’

I said to her ‘I appreciate your openness, acceptance and honesty. I am not thinking anything wrong about you but I am thinking about your customers.’ Even though I know that it works, I am wondering how it can work. What kind of enjoyment and satisfaction do people get from sex when they buy it? I have said before, too, that sex is not only physical. It is more about feelings than about the physical aspect. And of course with money you can hire a body but not feelings. I know that it works for some people and I have read that this is the oldest profession on this earth but I really don’t understand how the body can even react without feelings.

In the last days I was writing about love and sex in the diary and I said that making of love is not necessarily about sex and sexual feelings. But I want to say that love can be without sex but sex has to be with love. Once I talked with one of my friends about this and he said: ‘People go to a prostitute and pay for giving love.’ He meant that they are not getting any love. They pay for giving love. Actually I do not see any giving or getting of love in this business. I do not really feel that somebody goes there to give love. Of course he doesn’t go to get love, either. He cannot, it is not possible to buy love from money. But neither is he going there to give love. I can maybe say that he is going there to satisfy his ego in the illusion in which he thinks that he can buy satisfaction from money. But satisfaction is that jewel, just like love, which you cannot buy with money.