What to do if insecure People want to put you down – 18 Nov 15

Today I would like to write about a kind of attitude which can be perceived like negativity sometimes. There are people who thoroughly enjoy putting other people down. They are not actually negative – but they enjoy putting you into a negative space, a mood in which you don’t feel good anymore!

I am sure you have already met such people in your life as well! No matter what you tell them, they will criticize something about your story, how you acted or what your thoughts are to this topic. Intentionally, they will say something that provokes you or gives you the feeling of not being welcome in that conversation or being wrong.

I believe this is a psychological problem and has very much something to do with self-esteem. These people can be educated and even have lots of degrees but they don’t feel good about themselves. They are not secure in their self-confidence and want to satisfy their ego by showing that they are superior to others.

That’s how they have fun in putting others down. They believe the way they are doing things is the only and best way. Everybody who does anything different is practically stupid and thus inferior to them – so that they can feel good about themselves. For this, they don’t hesitate to hurt another person. Knowing that they are in fact terribly unhappy with themselves, with the world and life around them, is the base for dealing with such situations.

Set your boundaries and limits for such people as soon as you realize how they are acting. If you don’t want to be unhappy along with them and don’t want to be dragged into this miserable mood they want to create for you, you need to block their attempts. The best is to get rid of them as soon as possible. You have no chance of having a normal conversation. You cannot correct them because they are convinced that they know everything better anyway! They won’t stop until you are unhappy and feel bad.

So remember that they are actually the ones feeling insecure and having a problem with their self-esteem and their ego. Don’t let them reach until your feelings. Don’t take them serious in what they say and best of all, keep conversations short and light. In this way, you will avoid having your good mood and feelings ruined by someone who just wants to make others feel bad!

Was tun, wenn dich unsichere Menschen runtermachen wollen – 18 Nov 15

Heute möchte ich über eine Art der Einstellung schreiben, die manchmal als Negativität wahrgenommen werden kann. Es gibt Leute, die es regelrecht genießen, andere Menschen niederzumachen. Sie sind nicht wirklich negativ – aber sie haben Freude daran, dich in einen negativen Raum zu manövrieren, dich dahin zu bringen, dass du dich nicht mehr gut fühlst!

Sicherlich habt ihr in eurem Leben auch bereits solche Leute getroffen! Egal, was man ihnen erzählt, sie kritisieren etwas an deiner Geschichte, daran, wie du gehandelt hast oder was deine Gedanken zu diesem Thema sind. Absichtlich sagen sie etwas, das dich provoziert oder dir das Gefühl gibt, falsch zu liegen oder in dieser Unterhaltung nicht willkommen zu sein.

Ich denke, das ist ein psychologisches Problem und hat sehr etwas mit Selbstbewusstsein zu tun. Diese Leute können gebildet sein und sogar jede Menge akademische Abschlüsse haben, doch sie fühlen sich nicht gut mit sich selbst. Sie sind sich in ihrem Selbstvertrauen nicht sicher und wollen ihr Ego zufriedenstellen, indem sie zeigen, dass sie anderen überlegen sind.

Deshalb haben sie Freude daran, andere runterzumachen. Sie glauben, dass so, wie sie die Dinge zu tun, die einzige und richtige Art ist. Jeder, der etwas anders macht, ist praktisch dumm und ihnen also unterlegen – so dass sie sich über sich selbst gut fühlen können. Dafür zögern sie nicht, andere zu verletzen. Das Wissen jedoch, dass sie in Wirklichkeit mit sich selbst, der Welt und dem Leben um sie herum schrecklich unglücklich sind, ist die Grundlage dafür, mit solchen Situationen umzugehen.

Setze deine Grenzen für solche Menschen sobald du merkst, wie sie sich verhalten. Wenn du nicht mit ihnen zusammen unglücklich sein willst und nicht in diese miserable Stimmung hineingezogen werden willst, die sie extra für dich geschaffen haben, musst du ihre Versuche abblocken. Das Beste ist, sie so schnell wie möglich loszuwerden. Man hat keine Chance auf eine normale Unterhaltung. Man kann sie nicht korrigieren, weil sie sowieso überzeugt sind, dass sie alles besser wissen! Sie hören nicht auf, bis du unglücklich bist und dich schlecht fühlst.

Erinnere dich also daran, dass sie diejenigen sind, die sich unsicher fühlen und ein Problem mit ihrem Selbstbewusstsein und ihrem Ego haben. Lass sie nicht bis zu deinen Gefühlen kommen. Nimm das, was sie sagen, nicht ernst und halte am besten jegliche Unterhaltungen kurz und leicht. Auf diese Weise kannst du vermeiden, dass deine gute Laune und Gefühle von jemandem ruiniert werden, der nur will, dass sich andere schlecht fühlen!

How to deal with Relationship Problems which arise due to Ego – 29 Oct 15

It has been a week of writing about different issues and how to deal with them. I started with financial issues, wrote about problems in relationships to other people and, yesterday, how you can deal with life-threatening diseases or life-changing handicaps. While these all were surely important problems that people may need some help to deal with, there is another type of issue which I often see and which people always have problems to cope with: ego problems within a relationship.

I can nearly hear some of my readers sigh already at just the mentioning of the issues I will write about now. Almost everyone who has ever been in a longer relationship will know what I am talking about. These problems are the worst and the most important ones because a relationship is always about being together, being two instead of one. Egoism is about being yourself and putting yourself in front of all others – something which can create problems when two humans are spending lots of time together!

You can see on a lot of examples if that is an issue in your relationship. One example is if your partner did a small mistake, you corrected it or told him or her that he hurt you by that and he or she makes a huge issue out of this fact. For the other person’s ego, it is impossible to accept the mistake and so you carry out a huge discussion and argument for really nothing at all – or only for the ego. Or you notice yourself how difficult it is for you to apologize even though you see you were wrong in some way. Your ego stands in your way.

It’s not only a matter of apologizing! If you have an idea to redecorate your room or you are making holiday plans together for example and you already had an idea for what to do but it doesn’t fit at all with the idea of your partner, you will only find a solution if at least one of you doesn’t insist on satisfying his or her ego! It will be most beautiful however if you find a way in the middle, a holiday destination that you both enjoy or a room decoration that both of you think looks good!

You already see where this is going: in a partnership, you have to find the common path. I believe one should dissolve his ego completely in one’s love! There is no sense in insisting on being right and there is beauty in enjoying the joy of the other – even if you yourself would have opted for something different! This is what you will find in successful relationships: two persons who communicate, know each other’s preferences and act in a way that gives both freedom and joy.

Again, it is not easy – but if you are in love, I think you can manage!

Beziehungsprobleme aufgrund von zu viel Ego – wie gehe ich damit um? – 29 Okt 15

Ich habe diese Woche über unterschiedliche Problemen geschrieben und wie man mit ihnen umgehen kann. Ich begann mit finanziellen Themen, schrieb über Probleme in der Beziehung zu anderen Menschen und, gestern, darüber, wie man mit lebensbedrohlichen Krankheiten oder lebensverändernden Behinderungen umgehen kann. Während all das sicherlich wichtige Probleme waren, für die manch einer etwas Hilft benötigen mag, gibt es noch eine Art Thema, die ich oft sehe und mit der viele Leute immer ein Problem haben: Ego in der Beziehung.

Ich kann einige meiner Leser fast schon seufzen hören, wenn ich das Thema, über das ich schreiben werde, nur erwähne. Fast jeder, der jemals in einer längeren Beziehung war, weiß wohl, von was ich spreche. Diese Probleme sind die Schlimmsten und die Wichtigsten, weil es in einer Beziehung immer darum geht, zusammen zu sein, zwei zu sein anstatt nur einer. Beim Egoismus geht es um dich und darum, dich vor all anderen zu stellen – etwas, was Schwierigkeiten verursacht, wenn zwei Menschen viel Zeit miteinander verbringen!

Man kann an vielen Beispielen sehen, ob das in seiner Beziehung ein Thema ist. Ein Beispiel ist, wenn dein Partner einen kleinen Fehler macht, du ihn korrigiert hast oder ihm bzw. ihr gesagt hast, dass es dich verletzt hat und er oder sie in der Folge eine große Sache daraus macht. Für das Ego des anderen ist es unmöglich den Fehler zu akzeptieren und so habt ihr eine riesige Diskussion und Streit um eigentlich gar nichts – nur für das Ego. Oder du merkst selbst, wie schwierig es für dich ist, dich zu entschuldigen, obwohl du siehst, dass du irgendwo falsch lagst. Dein Ego steht dir im Weg.

Es ist nicht nur eine Frage des Entschuldigens! Wenn du zum Beispiel eine Idee hast, dein Zimmer umzudekorieren oder ihr zusammen Urlaubspläne macht und du bereits eine Vorstellung hast, was ihr machen könntet, die jedoch gar nicht mit der Vorstellung deines Vaters übereinstimmt, findet ihr nur eine Lösung, wenn zumindest einer von euch nicht darauf besteht, sein oder ihr Ego zu befriedigen! Am Schönsten jedoch wird es, wenn ihr einen Mittelweg findet, ein Urlaubsziel, das euch beiden gefällt oder eine Zimmer-Dekoration, die ihr beide für gut haltet!

Ihr seht bereits, wo ich damit hinwill: in einer Partnerschaft müsst ihr den gemeinsamen Weg finden. ich glaube, man sollte sein Ego komplett in Liebe auflösen! Es macht keinen Sinn, darauf zu bestehen, dass man Recht hat und die Schönheit liegt darin, die Freude des anderen zu genießen – selbst, wenn man sich selbst für etwas anderes entschieden hätte! Das findet man in erfolgreichen Beziehungen: zwei Menschen, die kommunizieren, die Vorlieben des jeweils anderen kennen und auf eine Weise handeln, die beiden Freiheit und Freude gibt.

Das ist wieder einmal nicht einfach – doch wenn du verliebt bist, so kannst du es denke ich schaffen!

Sorry, I won’t spend a Penny on having myself honoured with an Award – 17 May 15

Some weeks ago, I was approached by a journalist with an invitation. It was an invitation to an award ceremony in Mumbai. Not as a guest – as an award nominee and winner for the category ‘Best Spiritual Person of the Year’.

Well, it was interesting, I thought, as it was also organized by a media company that I had heard of, which had a certain name. Then I looked again at the date on the invitation: it was going to take place in just three days and that in Mumbai, which is 1500 kilometers from my home town!

We had several international guests at our Ashram in that time and it was really short notice but as it had been a very polite way of inviting me, I considered going. In a discussion with my family, the opinion of most was that it would not be nice to refuse such an invitation.

I replied politely and said I would be happy to come. I asked whether the organizer of the event could send me two flight tickets from Delhi to Mumbai on the day of the event and back on the next day. I have friends in Mumbai, so I didn’t even ask about accommodation or food arrangements as I knew I would be well taken care of there. I thought it reasonable to ask about the traveling costs however – after all I was invited to be awarded and the event was going to place in one of the country’s biggest five-star hotels. I thought it to be a normal question.

I got the reply that according to company policy, they didn’t give the travel fare but made all other arrangements – but my contact person would ask and get back to me. To me, the matter was quite clear: if my travel would be paid for, I would go. I started wondering about the staying arrangements they had made, thinking I might be closer to the venue if I just stayed at the place they had arranged. Otherwise I would have to calculate time from the landing of my flight to get to my friends and then to the venue as well.

Finally however I got to know that while they arrange accommodation in the PWD guesthouse, a government guesthouse, they had now cancelled that spiritual category due to time restrictions. Travel fares would anyway not be paid, as it was not a sponsored program with which they earned money but just to give recognition to the people who deserved it.

I replied: ‘I think this is a good idea. I was looking on the website which you gave me of the award and there I also didn't find that category or a nomination. So it felt like it was in some way improvised, modified in the last minute or something similar.

I wish you all the best for the event and if you come sometime to the North, you are most welcome to visit us here.’

At this point, this was done and over for me. I really thought it was a nice ending to something that was anyway so short notice that it just didn’t happen. No problem, they didn’t have that many resources and it really seemed a last-minute thought to invite me. I had ended with best wishes and an invitation to come here!

I would never have written this blog post, had I not come across an article last week, written by the person who had sent me the invitation. Without mentioning my name, she described how unashamedly nominees had demanded airfare and stays in five-star hotels to be paid by them for coming! This hurt. It made me feel the necessity of describing my point in my blog, even without mentioning the organization’s, the award’s or the person’s name.

Yes, I asked to get my travel expenses paid. I would never spend a penny for getting myself honoured, even if it was an award like the Oscar! They believe I deserve this award – but what would be my interest in going? What would I be spending those approximately 500 Euro for?

And yes, it would have been altogether about 500 Euro, just for one day! There was no option to go by train, for that it was too short notice. And yes, for the past eight years since I know my wife, I have never spent even one night away from her. We go everywhere together and my times of travelling alone are over. That’s how I asked for two tickets – even though I might have as well paid for her ticket if they had paid mine.

Obviously the organization has the funds to organize this event in a top five-star hotel in Mumbai, so they must have spent a lot of money for the venue. If they think I should be there, I believe they could arrange the travel as well. Or, if I was deserving for an award in their eyes but not for paying my travel cost, they could have given me the award via video conference. Or come and give it to me here. Or just announce my name there! Why do I even have to go?

It would have been an award for my spiritual work, which includes our charity projects for our children, as all profit of my work goes there. Instead of paying a flight to pick up an award for myself, I would have rather given food and books to another child! Or they could have donated that money!

Really, if you had wished me to be there, you should have called me longer in advance. It would have seemed more serious and I could have planned, made other arrangements in Mumbai for some program or work. Or I would have decided to make holidays in Mumbai and enjoy some days there, coming to the award show on one evening. In both cases, I would not even have asked for my travel expenses. But why should I leave all my other commitments and spend money to rush to Mumbai last-minute just to pick up an award you think I should get?

But then again, I would not even have written this blog at all, had I not read that article!

I have told you before, too, that several TV channels have approached me to broadcast my lectures – but I should pay for the time I will be on their screen! On international level people are paying a lot of money for those slots – but I always refused! If you want me to speak on your channel, you should be paying me, not the other way around!

I know however that there are many people who pay loads of money to get shown on TV, to be honoured or to get awards. Sorry, I am not that kind of person. I have no need to be awarded and especially not if you ask me to pay for that!

If you invite me to your home, family or private program as a friend, I will be happy to come and of course by my own expenses. I will enjoy building a friendship and I know you have invited me for enjoying this love. But when you organize a public event in a huge five-star hotel, I think it is fair to at least ask for the fare. Even if you refuse – no problem! But asking has made me such a bad guy that I am mentioned in a negative way in your article. I am sure responding in this way in my blog makes it even worse.

Finally however, I just want to say that it hurt me to read such lines and the allegation that I am asking to get what I don’t deserve or what I should pay for on my own. I love giving to others – and again I will say, should you ever come to Vrindavan, I will be happy to welcome you here. But if you want to give me an award, please make sure I don’t have to spend money for it which I could give to our children!

Please read if you also pretend that easy Things are difficult – 14 Apr 15

Today and in the next two days, I would like to write about a few different kinds of people. Or actually about different reactions and ways how to handle any new tasks, information or problems. I will start with people who will always and knowingly make anything seem difficult, near-to impossible!

I am sure you know such people: you tell them about a plan you have and they frown, look at you doubtingly and finally tell you several reasons why that won’t work, won’t be easy and may even not work at all. The joke is: they know it is not difficult at all!

Yes, I am talking about ideas that are not even very far-fetched, about plans that are realizable and very much so but which they decide to present differently. The reason for this behavior? To make you feel it is very difficult and then, when they manage to ‘help you’ and fix your issue, make you feel very thankful and obliged. They enjoy this attention, they love the way you are relieved and thankful to them.

Obviously, it is the best that can happen for their ego!

Often they fool themselves into thinking this, too – they know it is easy but then decide to make it difficult over such a long time that they nearly believe it themselves. Once they succeed, it feels so great to have managed something so difficult!

That is why they make a huge fuss out of every small thing. They can never have anything easy in life because they want to be the big heroes, they want to be admired and want to be seen as achievers of the most difficult tasks!

Whenever you see such a person and approach him or her with a task, you will hear how difficult it is. No matter how difficult it really could be, you won’t ever hear that it is easy or can be done without problem. In professional life you have to be careful: these people will cheat you into believing that they have done a big service which they can charge a big amount of money for – while all they did was one small move, one small change and everything was done!

On the other hand they will really put everything into solving your problem, even if it is difficult, so that they can take the credit for it!

But you won’t ever feel really comfortable discussing anything new with them because you won’t ever get their honest opinion but always negative feedback, whatever you say!

Lies das, wenn du auch so tust, als wären einfache Dinge schwierig – 14 Apr 15

Heute und in den nächsten zwei Tagen möchte ich gerne über ein paar unterschiedliche Arten von Leuten schreiben. Oder eigentlich über unterschiedliche Reaktionen und Arten, neue Aufgaben, Informationen und Probleme anzugehen. Ich beginne mit Leuten, die immer und bewusst alles als schwierig, fast unmöglich darstellen!

Bestimmt kennt ihr solche Leute: ihr erzählt ihnen von einem Plan und sie runzeln die Stirn, sehen dich voller Zweifel an und erklären dir schließlich mehrere Gründe, warum das nicht funktionieren kann, nicht einfach sein wird und vielleicht auch einfach überhaupt nicht geht. Der Witz dabei ist: sie wissen, dass es überhaupt nicht schwierig ist!

Ja, ich spreche von Ideen, die nicht einmal weit hergeholt sind, von Plänen, die realisierbar sind und das sehr, die sie jedoch anders zu präsentieren beschließen. Der Grund für solches Verhalten? Dir das Gefühl zu geben, es sei wahnsinnig schwierig und dann, wenn sie schaffen dir zu ‚helfen‘ und dein Problem beheben, dich wahnsinnig dankbar und in ihrer Schuld zu sehen. Sie genießen diese Aufmerksamkeit, lieben es, wie erleichtert und dankbar du ihnen bist.

Natürlich ist das das Beste, was für ihr Ego geschehen kann!

Oft machen sie sich selbst das auch vor – sie wissen, dass es einfach ist, beschließen dann jedoch, es über so lange Zeit als schwierig darzustellen, dass sie es beinahe selbst glauben. Sobald sie Erfolg haben, fühlt es sich so toll an, etwas so schwieriges geschafft zu haben!

Darum machen sie aus jeder kleinen Sache ein riesiges Problem. Sie können im Leben nie etwas leicht haben, weil sie immer die großen Helden sein wollen. Sie wollen bewundert werden als diejenigen, die die schwierigsten Aufgaben erledigen konnten!

Immer, wenn man eine solche Person sieht und sich ihm oder ihr mit einer Aufgabe nähert, bekommt man zu hören, wie schwierig es ist. Egal, wie schwierig es wirklich sein kann, man hört nie, dass es einfach wäre oder ohne Problem erledigt werden könnte. Im Berufsleben muss man vorsichtig sein: diese Leute betrügen dich und lassen dich glauben, sie hätten dir einen großen Dienst geleistet, für welchen sie dann auch ein entsprechend großes Entgelt verlangen können – während alles, was sie getan haben, eine kleine Bewegung oder Veränderung war!

Andererseits geben sie wirklich alles, um dein Problem zu lösen, selbst wenn es wirklich schwierig ist, so dass sie auch die Lorbeeren dafür ernten können!

Doch du wirst dich in der Unterhaltung mit ihnen über etwas Neues nie wirklich wohlfühlen, weil du nie ihre ehrliche Meinung, sondern immer negatives Feedback bekommst, egal, was du sagst!

A typical religious Mentality: I do it right, you do it wrong – 9 Feb 15

I told you yesterday about a former friend of mine and how he had the thought that I had always been an atheist and just played the drama of a religious person. I found it quite interesting that his thoughts went this way – and that’s how I want to write you today about the religious egoism that many people have and often express as well.

I already mentioned that this former friend is religious himself. In spite of his obvious religiosity however, he suspects other people who do the same of only doing drama. He is not the only one who thinks in this way!

It is a quite common opinion among many people: ‘What I am doing is right’ but when others do the same, they are doing it wrong, out of wrong intentions, not with enough heart and so on. To the outside, they present themselves as very humble but once you get behind that façade, you see that they are extremely arrogant, thinking they are the best. There are many blind followers who get confirmation of this belief from their gurus, spiritual leaders and similar ideals in their life. They get to hear that they are the best, they are the most pious and outstanding devotees.

What they don’t realize is that their religious leaders in this way pull the money straight out of their pockets.

Ironically, they also complain that others follow religion only for money. They don’t see that this money game is what they themselves need and want. They need the priest, they need the people who build the huge temples and places of worship for them. Without money it cannot work!

It is a very limited way of seeing things: I am doing it alright and the people who I worship are fine, too – everyone else is just fake and wrong. Within your religion or also in other religions! You love your god and in the same way, another religion’s believer loves his god but you call him wrong. You even declare war on him. All he did was the same thing that you did, just in another way.

Seeing the whole picture, they are just in the same illusion but not able or not willing to see it.

Eine typisch religiöse Mentalität: Ich mache es richtig, du machst es falsch – 9 Feb 15

Ich habe euch gestern von einem früheren Freund erzählt und davon, wie er dachte, dass ich schon immer Atheist gewesen bin und den religiösen Guru nur gespielt hatte. Ich fand es recht interessant, dass seine Gedanken in diese Richtungen gingen – und so möchte ich euch heute über den religiösen Egoismus schreiben, den viele Menschen haben und oft auch ausdrücken.

Ich habe bereits erwähnt, dass dieser frühere Freund selbst religiös ist. Trotz seiner sehr offensichtlichen Religiosität jedoch, verdächtigt er andere Menschen, die das Gleiche tun, es nur zur Schau zu tun. Er ist nicht der Einzige, der so denkt!

Das ist eine recht verbreitete Meinung unter vielen Leuten: ‚Was ich tue ist richtig‘, aber wenn andere das gleiche machen, machen sie es falsch, aus falschen Motiven, mit nicht genug Einsatz oder Herz und so weiter. Nach außen hin geben sie sich selbst als wahnsinnig bescheiden, aber sobald man einen Blick hinter diese Fassade wirft, sieht man, dass sie extrem arrogant sind und der Überzeugung, dass sie die Besten sind. Es gibt viele blinde Anhänger, die von ihrem Gurus, spirituellen Führern und ähnlichen Vorbildern im Leben in diesem Glauben bestätigt werden. Sie bekommen zu hören, dass sie die Besten sind, dass sie die frömmsten und liebsten Anhänger sind.

Was sie nicht merken ist, dass ihre religiösen Führer ihnen auf diese Weise das Geld direkt aus den Taschen ziehen.

Ironischerweise beschweren sie sich auch, dass andere nur aufgrund des Geldes religiös sind. Sie sehen nicht, dass es doch genau dieses Spiel des Geldes ist, was sie brauchen und wollen. Sie brauchen den Priester, sie brauchen die Leute, die für sie die riesigen Tempel und Orte der Verehrung bauen. Ohne Geld kann es nicht funktionieren!

Es ist eine sehr beschränkte Weise, die Dinge zu sehen. Ich mache es richtig und die Menschen, die ich verehre, sind auch in Ordnung – alle anderen sind einfach nur falsch. In dergleichen Religion oder in anderen Religionen! Du liebst deinen Gott und genauso lieben Gläubige anderer Religionen ihren Gott, doch das nennst du falsch. Du erklärst ihm sogar den Krieg. Alles, was er tat, war das Gleiche wie du, nur auf andere Weise.

Wenn man das Gesamtbild betrachtet, sind sie in der gleichen Illusion gefangen, aber nicht in der Lage oder nicht willens, das zu sehen.

Do I support the Dowry System if I go to a traditional Indian Wedding? – 25 Dec 14

I yesterday described a few situations in which I would say one should be firm about a modern thought, if that means not following harmful and completely wrong traditions such as the untouchability due to caste or the dowry system. An Indian man asked me recently whether the situation he was in was one of those. His friend was getting married and he knew that there would be a dowry involved in this arrangement, something he was strongly against. Now he was wondering whether he should attend the wedding or if he would be supporting the dowry system by going.

I have heard some people call me very strict when it comes to such things. I really follow my words and act according to what I say and speak of. At the same time however I can see when it is not the point of me making a statement of my belief – or non-belief – but rather to be with someone as a friend, due to the love we share.

That’s what I think is the case here. If it is a good friend of yours, you probably have already expressed your views. If it is your close family member and you have something to say in the matter, I would say beforehand that you should do your best to stop the dowry from being arranged or included in this ‘marriage deal’.

You not going to the wedding due to the dowry, no matter how you are related to the groom or the bride, won't stop the wedding. If you are neither, not a relative or good friend, the involved people probably won’t even mind much that you were not there and your point will be lost. And if you are a good friend or relative, the newlywed couple and probably their family will be upset and hurt by your action.

It will bring an injury to your relation but it won't stop them from following their tradition. You telling them about your views didn't, anyway.

And here I would like to ask you what is worth more: your ego, which is hurt that they didn't follow your idea or your love? Your belief or your friendship?

I think going to that wedding is a matter of being with your friends on the most important, beautiful and hopefully happiest day of their lives! For the sake of sharing their love, you can, for one evening, just forget about the fact that they have another, outdated and wrong, view on this topic and just enjoy!

This doesn't mean that you have to be there and sit through the complete ritual, if you are against the religious components of such occasions! That is not necessary and if everyone knows your stand, nobody will be upset if you miss that part. But they would miss you in the party – and you would miss it, too!

So stop torturing you with such questions, do what you feel like and just be open with your friends and family! Enjoy life – don't make it overly complicated!

And in the same spirit, even though I have nothing to do with Christmas, its traditions or significance, can now wish all my readers and friends who celebrated yesterday, today and tomorrow, to have a wonderful time full of love and peace! Enjoy your holidays and festivities, hug your family and don't overeat on the delicious food!