One can notice often that people who suffer from a disease for a longer time have a negative attitude towards their own health situation. Have you ever met a person who didn’t seem to have the wish to get healthy? They are negative about their healing process, say that it will never happen and that they will have to live with their problem.
I have met many people in this situation and always have the feeling, that they started to love their disease. When there is an illness, cancer for example, which remains in the body for a long time, people unconsciously establish a relationship with it. It is after all a part of their body. This relationship makes them feel that they don’t want to be without it – even if they don’t know it consciously or say it.
They don’t actually think it is good that they are ill. They know that their disease is bad for them and that they would live a better life without it. They don’t like this illness but they nevertheless don’t want to leave it.
In this case people have become attached to their problem. It has become an important part of their lives. They don’t like their disease but they like thinking about it and somehow enjoy feeling bad about it. If they really got rid of this disease, what should they think about? They get afraid of this life after their disease.
In many cases people even feel subconsciously special about their disease. After all, this is something that not everybody has and it always is a topic that ensures you the attention of others. People who need attention and who have low self-esteem can act like this. It is their way of getting attention without showing anything off.
These all are feelings that are not very open, that they could be aware of but would normally not pronounce to anybody. Everybody would declare them as crazy, wouldn’t they?
The problem is that getting rid of your disease emotionally is also a kind of surgery. When the doctors decide to cut the affected tissue out of your body, you also need to cut out your disease emotionally. You need strong willpower to do this surgery and to make this decision. Your wounds will take some time to heal completely but they will. Don’t be afraid but let go. Once you have done this surgery, you will notice that life is lighter and easier.
I am really wondering how many people come to me because they are cheating or because they were betrayed. It is too often! Once there was a woman here who had been married for a long time but six years ago she started an affair. Now she is feeling guilty about that affair but doesn’t know how to stop it. The problem is: this man is her boss.
He is a nice man, they work together and he is important in her life but she now wants to stop the sexual relation with him. He is also married and both, she and her boss, told their partners once about their sexual relation but pretended that it was a one-time mistake.
She is now in a difficult situation: she wants to finish the sexual relation with her boss but keep on working there with him. She cannot talk with her husband about it who is normally the person whom she trusts most because it will hurt him very much. He anyway doesn’t want to talk about that ‘one time’ and she has a very bad conscience for betraying him.
I said to her: Congratulations for realizing that you are not doing right. You need to take the decision to be honest. You are human and mistakes can happen but it is important, when you realize the mistake, to go right from then on. You need to be strong and have strong willpower. When you say no, it is no, you should not fall back into the same thing again. We say in India, whenever you wake up, it is morning. No matter if it is 6 or 10 or 12 o’clock, whenever you wake up, it is morning. And when you woke up, it is time to change.
We will now go to the Chakra Dance Party together with Otto as well as Annick, Regina, Jens, Celina and Linda, who all came to Copenhagen especially for this. Tomorrow I will let you know how it was!
A woman came for a healing session who was of a very jolly nature and making jokes. She wanted to have my help for losing weight but actually she was not worrying about the weight of her body. She said that when she gained weight, her breasts got very big and now she has pain in the shoulders and in the back from the weight of her breasts. But I liked her happiness and how she takes things.
She started making jokes and said to me: “Swami Ji see, it is very difficult for me to find a bra of my size. One of my friends told me a joke: A bra company made an advertisement for five different bra sizes: Small, Medium, Large, Wow and Oh My God!” After this joke were laughing a long time. It was great fun. But I also gave her some advice.
Always when someone comes to me and wants help in losing weight I tell them that I can help to strengthen the willpower but the decision is not mine to make. Everyone has to take this decision and then have discipline to watch the own eating habits and to move the body. Nobody else can do this for you but if you have a strong will and the firm decision, you can make it!
She understood what I meant and asked me if it would help to reduce the size of her breasts, too. I assured her that if it increased when she gained weight, it will also reduce when she loses weight.
Smilingly she asked me if she was allowed to eat sweets. She was surprised when I told her that she could absolutely eat sweets. There is nothing wrong in that, you just need to stick to one rule: only eat sweets right after a proper meal. In India we have a saying and the translation would be: End with sweets. So you finish your food and in the end have sweets. Just not in between and during the whole day. I think she liked sweets very much. She smiled and was happy that she can eat sweets at least with food.
Yesterday I talked about rules and I said that I do not like rules. I said many times that we are always living in rules but we should make it a rule to break one rule daily. But that should be your decision and not controlled by anyone else. I don’t like rules but I like discipline. For what is discipline good? It makes your will power strong. It makes you strong.
Actually the Yoga lifestyle is about discipline. I do not like rules but it is nice to create discipline within you. You could define it in this way: rules are coming from the outside, discipline is what you decide for yourself. You decide: I will do this and I will do this each day, each week and each month!
Having discipline makes your mind and yourself strong. And then, when you are in discipline you can decide yourself what is good for you and what is not. You can see which rule you want to break and control it yourself. Don’t do what you don’t feel good with, like the woman whom I told you about. If you don’t want to drink and you have created a strong will through discipline, you make your decision not to drink. And that is your own rule. That you will achieve with the discipline for which you worked. That is real freedom, when you are not controlled by any rule.
One time a yoga teacher came for a healing session and told me that she used to drink alcohol a lot, actually each day. Only when she started the training to become a yoga teacher she reduced her drinking. She said: ‘I have left this old life behind but sometimes, when I am out with friends and just want to have fun, I drink again.’ And on these evenings she said she did not care anymore how much she drank. She gets drunk once or twice a month.
She told me: ‘I don’t care much about rules, if yoga allows me to drink or not, I just feel myself that it is not very good for me. But in that time I forget it, it seems right to drink. I just don’t like to be controlled by any rules.’ I asked her: ‘But why do you let the alcohol control you? I cannot help you and your Yoga teacher could not help you. The only person who can help you is you!’
I told her that I also don’t like to be controlled by rules and that I do not give any rule to anyone and don’t want to control anybody. I really wonder why anybody wants to control someone else and why some people feel good when they are controlled. But the woman who was there gives all control to the alcohol. She said that she was not addicted, she did not drink alone, only when she went out with others. So this urge for alcohol comes from outside, not from herself. Why is the outside controlling you and brings you into a situation that you don’t want?
A decision from you is missing. You don’t feel good with this but still you do it. It needs strong will power and a firm decision. When she thought about this saw this as a fully new point of view and said that if she sees it in this way she will be able not to get drunk, no, not to drink anything. And this is what I believe. If you have a strong will not to be addicted, not to drink or smoke, you can make the decision and keep it.
Today we came from Cologne to Wiesbaden. Thomas picked us up from Anne’s apartment. Now I am looking forward to the full moon distance healing meditation.
In the morning we had breakfast in our hotel viewing the beautiful lake of Pushkar. We came back to Vrindavan today and even after only a few and very nice days out we are happy to be back again.
Yesterday I talked about tourists and also about drugs. Ramona and I talked a little bit and she told me that in school they learned that there are illegal drugs but also legal drugs like alcohol and nicotine. This was very funny for me but you can see how it makes people’s mind. Alcohol is a legal drug. So it is no problem, someone drinks and thinks it is fine because it is legal. So the general opinion towards smoking and drinking is that it is normal, legal and fully accepted.
Of course I compared it with the situation here in India. It is not the question of legal or illegal but of the general opinion and thinking of this. In India drinking alcohol is also legal but it is seen as something that a good and decent person wouldn’t do. It is not accepted, neither is smoking. And especially not in front of someone who is older than you. Those who do smoke or drink hide it. They do not smoke in front of others because they do not feel that it would be okay and thus the urge to smoke is not that big. Therefore someone would maybe smoke ten cigarettes a day in a country in which it is accepted as normal and only three cigarettes in a country in which he needs to find a private place to do it.
I also wonder sometimes how those people who smoke one or two cigarettes per hour can be on a flight for seven or even twelve hours where smoking is not allowed. Okay, there are these nicotine batches and chewing gums but not every smoker really uses them. Addiction is mainly a question of the mind. These people can spend half a day without any cigarette if they have to but when they are back with their feet on the ground they swear that they cannot survive an evening without smoking. If you can spend half a day without it, it is also possible a full day or three days. And then a week, a month a year or the rest of your life is also not more difficult than the first twelve hours. It is a question of the mind and the determination.
Last year I was in Baden-Baden on a spiritual festival where I should give lectures. It was a very big event with hundreds of people who were selling their books, cards, sound bowls, energized items and food. Others were there for giving massages, giving courses and lectures or for giving a concert in the evening. And of course there were also hundreds of people there to buy all these things and to listen to all concerts and lectures.
One of my lectures was in morning, another one in the late afternoon. Lots of people came to the first lecture and many of them were sitting on the floor because all chairs were occupied. It was a nice lecture and after it we took a round on the big market.
One woman who had been in my lecture saw me and came to me. She invited me to do a house healing for her house but unfortunately the plan was to leave this city and the area after the festival. So she said that it might work another day when I would be back in Baden-Baden and we said goodbye. As we had no interest in buying anything or taking a massage in front of fifty people we soon got tired of walking around and we started searching for somewhere to lie down. However there was no place for this.
So we remembered the woman from before and I said to Ramona how nice it could be if she took us to her home, I would do the house healing and then we could have a rest and maybe lie down for a while. Ramona laughed about this idea and replied that we could never find this one woman in the crowd of more than 400 people. I agreed that it would be difficult because I did not even remember how she looked like. So we started walking again with the wish to find somewhere to rest and suddenly Ramona called out: "Look there; that is the woman that we had met!" Ramona was very sure about it so approached her. Ramona asked me if I will just go and ask her if I can sleep in her house. I am really not shy in these things so I explained the woman how tired we were and if we could have some rest in her home in exchange for some positive energy. And she agreed happily. She took us to her beautiful house and when she brought us back one hour later her house was filled with nice energy and we were relaxed and fresh again.
It is amazing how much power our wishes have. If you really want something, you can make it real. Be open for the solution of your problems. It was improbable that we would find that woman between all those people but we did. And always be honest and natural. I went to her and just how I am and how the situation was I explained her that we needed some rest and she agreed because it was so honest. Be yourself and have the belief that your wishes will come true!
Yashendu took a train to Cologne today in the afternoon and Sonja will drop Ramona and me in Essen tomorrow morning. So this is our last night here and I realize again how fast time has gone by. I gave a partner-healing to Sonja and Peter on the last evening as a thank you for the nice week. We will say goodbye again but as I said before, each goodbye is a new hello!