Your Perception changes your World – 21 Oct 15

I know I have just recently written about seeing the world around you positively but as it is a very important topic – especially if you think about the high amount of people who suffer from burnout and depression – I would like to write about it today once more. About the art of seeing good in what is happening around you!

We all have different ways of seeing reality. That is one of the basics of every psychological study: what you experience is never exactly the same as what another person experiences because you have a different background. Even twins have a different perception because they have made different experiences.

One of the big parts that play a role in this is your upbringing. How did your parents raise you, which values did they feel are important and how did they help you see the world? The answers to these questions give you a basic idea on how you see the world around you.

The next big influence on you is your culture. The country that you live in, the basic ideals and values that are common to most people around you. It is broader than what only your parents taught you and it gives you a certain viewpoint which changes your reality. Ramona and I see this regularly and in so many things! Without going into detail now, we have a very different way of taking news due to the different places on this earth that we come from! Of course everyone is unique and different but culture does have an impression on you which you can hardly avoid!

Finally, your momentary situation, where you are in life at this point, influences your perception on what is happening around you. Let me give you a few examples: a woman who has the wish to become pregnant or is pregnant herself, will all of a sudden notice a lot of pregnant women around her. They were there before, too – but now she notices them because her mind is focused on this state!

If you are very busy in your job and constantly think of work-related matters, you have not time to see and appreciate the beauty of your town and what the people around you are doing. It is all there but once your current task is over, it is as though you see it all for the first time!

When you are freshly in love, the whole world seems to be beautiful, wonderful, fantastic and amazing! You feel like everyone around you is lovely and there is nothing but love in this world.

Finally, if you are in trouble, there are always bad things everywhere you look. Nothing can be good or beautiful because you are in your cloud of dark thoughts!

Why am I pointing this all out? I think it is important to know that you have another possibility as well! That you can actually see things differently! You need to change your point of view and already, things will be better!

It can be difficult to really change some of the deeply rooted basics of your thinking and feeling. It can happen though! But you don’t need to start with this – you can definitely work on how you see things depending on your current situation! Catch yourself when your thoughts a going a negative direction and remind yourself that this is due to your current negative perception! You can think different as well! Create another path of thinking for yourself!

I believe it is important – because it will give you a completely new positivity, calm and peace. It can actually help you lead a happier life!

Unhappy? Not satisfied? A change of Perception might help! – 14 Aug 12

There is a long-known fact which we can witness examples for again and again in daily life: everything depends upon the attitude and viewpoint of the person who is talking.

A man bought a cupboard. He chose one that fitted to his budget and when you ask him whether his new cupboard is looking nice in his living room he says ‘Oh, it is very nice!’ Another friend is standing next to him and replies, too: ‘Yes, nice, just a little bit too small’. The reply of the man with the cupboard: ‘It is not very big but enough for all my things to fit in there. So it is fully fine’. A third friend was coming closer and, hearing the last line shouts out ‘Man, that thing alone is as big as my whole bedroom!’

You see the different perception of one and the same cupboard. The man who owns the cupboard knows that there are bigger cupboards but he could afford this one and it suits his purpose, so he is happy with what he has got. Then there is another man, who is maybe used to bigger cupboards and he would call it small while the third man thinks exactly the opposite.

Who of these three men is realistic? All three of them are! Everybody gives his statement according to his own perception. You can however be nearly sure that the one man who thinks it is too small is less happy than the other two.

If you want to, you can always be happy with the situation and if you want to, you can always be unhappy.

We often have this experience with guests who come at different times of the year. We had visitors in summer who were sweating in the heat of May or June but who were still happy because they were in India, because they could make this experience and because they were on holiday. And we had people in the best travelling time of the year who had wonderful weather and everything was perfect but they thought Vrindavan was too dusty – and spoiled their complete mood.

Recently we read of one of our guests’ further travels and she wrote that she had gone trekking in Nepal. It was a very hard, difficult and exhausting trip for her, she had food poisoning, got ill, then better, made walks that made each of her muscles hurt, saw very dirty guest houses and more but in the end of her report she wrote it was an incredible experience of nature, people and culture. A journey she will always happily remember.

How different a perception can be for different people with different attitudes!

I would like to give you a tip for your own happiness and the happiness of the people around you: be positive, enjoy, laugh and love. Don’t be sulky, don’t regret, don’t be negative and encourage others to see the bright side, too.

Life is beautiful, you just need to see it from the right place!

Diversity in Life and People is the Beauty of this World – 27 May 10

Life is beautiful. Yesterday I wrote about young girls who believe that with make-up, the right clothes and hair, they are more beautiful or look older. I would like to tell everybody that they are just simply beautiful as they are. Everybody has a different perception on beauty and this is how it should be. What TV and media tries is to create one certain type of person, one haircut, one shape of face, one way of talking and behaving as good and another as bad. That makes it easier for them to sell their shows, movies and of course their advertisement. But that doesn’t work in real life and it would be very boring.

Everyone is unique and everyone’s life is unique. There will never be anybody who is 100% like you. Not even identical twins are identical. But instead of seeing it as a competition on who is more beautiful, more intelligent or simply in any way better, you should just enjoy the variety. Be happy about the many different opinions, points of view and physical differences in life. Value life and its diversity. The world is only beautiful because we all are different from each other.
 

Stress is a Matter of Perception, not of Time – 20 May 10

I have been writing about stress and many people actually define stress as a lack of time for due tasks. That means that you have many things to do but don’t have the time for all of them, that is why you hurry to make everything either at once or in shorter time.

It is however not really time that makes stress, it is only your perception. This is how not everybody feels stressed in the same situations. You put yourself under pressure of having to achieve something. For you it might be very important to clean the whole house before your mother-in-law will arrive and you get stressed while hovering, cleaning the windows and doing the laundry whereas your husband is fully relaxed even though he maybe does his best to help you. He doesn’t get stressed because for him it is not as important as it is for you.

Another example: you are running late for a business meeting. It is an important business partner whom you will meet for the first time. But now you are stuck in traffic. You get hectic, honk around, try to find another way and maybe even get lost a little bit before you finally arrive, ten minutes late, at the restaurant on which you agreed as a meeting place. And this only to find out that your business partner is not there yet. He walks in another five minutes later and says ‘Wow, you are already here? I got fully stuck in that traffic jam out there! Sorry for being late.’ You will need to admire how calm he is about being late.

Think about it: was it really worth the stress? It is only your perception, you create the stress yourself! Your business partner also gets late sometimes and your mother-in-law might not even see the dust. And even if she sees it, what will happen? You need to get more relaxed and have fewer expectations on yourself. Even for things that are important, you should look forward more than you are anxious. You will only exhaust yourself with stress and you will not do anything faster or better when being stressed.
 

Not Accepting the Truth is Reason for Dishonesty – 13 May 10

Actually cheating and dishonesty unfortunately is everywhere, in all cultures and countries and for many different things. There are doctors who cheat, lawyers who think they have to be dishonest sometimes, there is a lot of cheating and dishonesty in the business world and even more dishonesty in the world of relationships as I was writing about lately.

The interesting thing in this is that everybody else has another perception, another meter to judge on what is honest and what is dishonest. And sometimes it is not easy to say that they were wrong. A lawyer once said to me ‘We lawyers are there to bend the truth so far that it can fit into the law.’ For some people this is dishonest, for a lawyer this is his honest work.

And of course the most difficult thing to be honest about are your feelings. Why? I know that most people have extreme problems with that and the reason is very basic: they do not accept the truth, their feelings as they are. The reason for being dishonest is always this: you do not accept the truth.

The truth is right and will always be right, there is no reason to be ashamed or afraid of the truth. Be honest, that is the right thing to do and you cannot be wrong with that.
 

The View of a Child on the World – 5 Feb 09

Did you ever think about how children see the world, what their perception is of everything that is going on? You probably did sometime, when you were growing up, came out of your teenage and became an adult yourself. But with time passing by most people tend to forget how it is like to be smaller than nearly everyone around you.

You forget how you yourself did not yet understand the world. In that time your parents were the only people in the world. Some time later you got to know more of the family and even the neighbours and close friends. In that time you believed that this is the whole world. When you started going to Kindergarten or to school, this was the most important place apart from your home.

I also remember that when I was in primary school, maybe 7 years old, the 15 year old children seemed like big people to me. When my moustache and beard was not growing yet and I saw older boys who already had a moustache, I was wishing for my moustache to grow as soon as possible and I was waiting for it.

If we see Suraj whose world falls apart if he doesn’t get a toffee in the moment that he wants to and his world is full of joy and happiness when he gets it. It is this innocence which makes everybody love children, this purity and love for the moment. And if you never thought about this, think now and then help your children and the children of this world to slowly discover more and more. It is a process in which you can support them. Don’t get impatient or angry, explain and show them the wonders of this earth.

Experiences, Senses, Feelings and just Love – 20 Jan 10

When writing yesterday’s diary entry I realized once again how different people’s perception can be. One kind of noise, especially when it is regular and for longer time like a ticking or humming, can be soothing for one person but very annoying for another one. One kind of smell can make one person’s mouth water while the other one cannot stand it for more than a minute. How diverse our perception is!

Of course it is connected with our emotions: when there is a smell which was there on a beautiful romantic evening, you remember this feeling and you feel good. We were talking today about it how different each person’s feelings, senses and perception are. And in how many different ways you can express even one feeling. How different do people describe when they find something funny or good. And how many different descriptions you can get for the feeling of love.

I would like to invite you all to write to me with YOUR definition, your way of expressing the feeling of love. How do you feel in a moment of love? How is your feeling when your loved one looks into your eyes? What do you feel when your loved one smiles at you and says ‘I love you’? Or is it another sentence for you that triggers this? An action, a situation? I would like to collect as many different ways of experiencing love as possible and share it with each other.

So just write your thoughts down and send them to info@jaisiyaram.com, we will collect them and when we will have a nice collection I will present them in my diary so we all can share this loving feeling.

Click here to see more pictures of today's food

A Delay that Made Sense – 16 Sep 09

Today we had to go to the bank and for shopping afterwards. We wanted to take along two letters which we needed to give to our banker. So we started from home to go to the building which is a walk of maybe 15 minutes. The three of us were walking and only one block away from the bank we had to stop at a traffic light. I turned around and asked Ramona ‘You have the letters, don’t you?’ Ramona shook her head and looked at Yashendu ‘You have them, right?’

It turned out that none of us had taken them thinking that one of the other two had it. So we turned around and did our shopping on the way home. We picked up the letters and went back. We entered the bank and went to the counter. They told us to go to a cubicle in the back where our banker was sitting. And after saying hello she said ‘Oh, good that you came now, I just came back from lunch!’

You see, it was very good that we had to take that extra round back, if we had not, the woman whom we wanted to talk to wouldn’t have been there. And we got some workout walking through the streets of New York!

To-Do-Lists and their Psychological Effect – 2 Sep 09

Today after dinner we walked again to a nice ice-cream parlor that we had found a few days ago. We had good ice-cream and on the way back Jeremy’s mobile rang. It was not a phone call, it was a reminder that he had set and we got to talk about that.

Some people do their work in this way, they remember things that they want to do or they have an electronic tool to remind them. And others write ‘to-do-lists’. They start and write all the things down that they are planning to do and which they should have accomplished by the end of the day or the week. When one is done, they cross it off and when they then look at the list and they see what they could already cross off, they feel good. They have the feeling that they accomplished something.

The interesting thing is that they actually did the same tasks, maybe they did the same work and had the same result as another person, but they make their list, look at it and then feel good about it. It is just another perception of how to do things. I also say it doesn’t matter how you do things, the important thing is only that you feel good and are happy about what you are doing.

Strange Comparisons of Overweight People – 19 Jul 09

Today Yashendu, Ramona and I were talking about how people see their own body. Especially many women have big self-esteem issues about their body and Yashendu somewhere read a study that each third woman is not happy with her figure and trying to lose weight. And in many western countries the numbers of obese people is increasing more and more. But there are many people who are cheating themselves about their weight. Not everybody seems to be aware of it that they are overweight and I believe the biggest problem of all is that people always compare themselves with others.

Everybody should find his own perfect body weight. If you feel that when you are walking, you are carrying too much weight, you feel that you could do something about it. And many people start comparing themselves with others who are bigger than themselves. They see someone and think ‘He is fat, he must have 30 kilogram more than me! So I am fine!’ But they do not look at those who weigh 20 kilogram less and they do not really look at themselves. And this is why this is a very difficult topic here.

You can really insult somebody if you say something about their figure or weight because they are not comfortable with themselves. I would suggest to everybody who does not feel comfortable with their own body weight, to change something! And I do not talk about people with eating disorders, that is something else. I am talking about a healthy relation and conception of your own body. Love it as it is and remember that it is always in your hand to change something! You are not helpless about this. Be happy with your body, love it and take care of it.