Tag: Pity

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No Public Transport Systems in Texas? – 29 May 10

We are here in League City with our friends Lola and Kevin, who invited us, as well as our friends Joanne and Jeff, with whom we are staying. Today is Joanne’s and Jeff’s son Ethan’s birthday and we thought about buying a present. Joanne and Jeff were busy preparing and so we thought about getting it ourselves but had to realize that we did not know any way how to get to the shop.

So we asked Lola and Kevin and Kevin had time to take us in the car to the shop. On the way we asked him if there was no public transportation here, no bus which you could take? And he said no, there wasn’t. And then here everything is very wide apart from each other, you cannot really just walk to the store, it is too far. So you have to have a car to live here!

When we said this Kevin mentioned that it was probably because of the oil production and business here that the government would rather have people buy fuel and gas for their cars, each person their own, than have 50 people hop onto a bus, using maybe more than a car but surely not as much as 50 cars.

Hearing this we were very surprised. In many places we know there is a very good system of public transport and the government encourages people to use it because it is so much better for the environment, there are no parking problems, everybody gets a bit more exercise and the gas is not all used now but can be used longer for the future. What about pollution and environmental protection? Why would you prefer to stand in long traffic jams, blowing all the smog into the air?

It is a pity but as long as people or governments anywhere in the world and especially in a big and developed country like America put the short-sighted interests of economy higher than the long-term risks for the environment, nature cannot be in balance. We need to take good care of this planet and not polluting it is part of this! 

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Tanning and Make-up at 13? – 26 May 10

When we are travelling in Europe but especially also here in the US, I see many young girls at the age of 13 or 14 who already look so much older, some of them like 20 years old. They are wearing stylish clothes, have their hair done, are tanned and use – sometimes too much – make-up. They want to look older than they are although they are still children. You will realize when they start talking that they are much younger than they pretend to be.

I actually find it a pity that this is happening. Why do you need to look older? You are fine at the age that you are, you do not need to look older or pretend with your behavior that you are older. It is fine to be a child. And it is true, experience and maturity will only come with time, so people will still notice your age.

I want to add that you need to realize, too, what you do to your body! The skin in that age is so fresh, just young, soft and beautiful. You do not need to cover it with a hundred different coloured powders and pastes. That doesn’t make it more beautiful and it is not good for your skin! Tanning is very modern, too, you go into a sun studio and either lie there with intensive UV rays or get sprayed on until your skin is as many shades darker as you wish. However that is not at all good for you! Your skin cannot breathe and it burns!

I tell you one more thing, when you become older, you might regret if you overdid it with make-up and tanning! The skin gets wrinkles much earlier and at thirty you do not have the desire anymore to look older than you are. On the contrary, that is the age when people start using anti-ageing lotions and products – to make them look younger!

Accept yourself as you are, you are beautiful!
 

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Boost your Self-esteem – 26 Jan 10

Yesterday I wrote about situations in which you are suddenly very angry. Some people however have the serious problem that they are constantly in some way angry with themselves or not happy with themselves. It is of course a lack of self-esteem and self-confidence. You always feel that you are not good enough, you could be doing something better, that others are doing things better than you.

Another problem is pitying yourself which is in some way connected to the low self-esteem and many people just love doing this. They think they are not good enough in doing one thing and instead of even trying they sit there and tell ten people how poor they are that they are not able to do it. And sentences like ‘I will never be able to do this’ or ‘For me this will not work anyway’ are just very destructive to any kind of drive or impulse that you might have inside.

Then sometimes an idea comes up like ‘Wouldn’t it be great if I could run faster!’ and the next thought is ‘I will never be able to run as fast as him!’ and all wish to start running is gone. Instead you sit down, switch on the TV and switch off your mind. Afterwards you are again angry and unhappy with yourself because you didn’t do it.

Don’t let this happen! When you think you would like to be able to do something, then start learning it. Start in a small way like with 15 minutes a day just running in your neighbourhood. If you don’t want to run in your neighbourhood, take your bicycle or car and drive out a little bit, find a park or any area where you really feel good and comfortable and just start. Do it daily and after some days of routine increase the time.

If you would like to learn something, start! Each day half an hour and then a bit more and a bit more. You will see how much difference this makes, not only in learning that what you are trying to learn but also for your self-esteem. You will feel good because you did something. Don’t keep your goals too high, do daily a bit and just enjoy doing it.

Enjoy the feeling of working on something and improving yourself. Just imagine doing this each day instead of half an hour of your daily TV program. You usually don’t get anything from TV if you are not by chance watching something informative but you get a lot of half an hour workout, practice or learning each day.

Today is our dear friend Joanna’s birthday. She lives in New York but has spent time at the Ashram last year and is going to come back this year, too, as the children and the love in the Ashram family have touched her heart. We all send her the best birthday greetings! She sponsored the food for the children today so the children could celebrate with her on this special day. The 26th January is also India’s Republic Day and this is how these two events will stay together in our minds now and be the reason to celebrate on this day!
Click here to see pictures of today’s lunch

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Victims Trying to have Pity, unable to be Happy – 18 Apr 09

A few days ago I was writing about playing the role of the victim. Now I was writing about happiness. Sometimes I feel that many people try with force and effort to keep happiness away. Otherwise this game and the role of the victim that they are playing could not go on. They are victims and cannot show themselves happy for a long time. They have to get hurt and be sad so that they can keep their image of being a victim.

It doesn’t even end at this point, it goes further: those who play the role of a victim then expect others not to be happy either. They do not allow anybody else to be happy but want to have pity. I think in this kind of situation it can be very difficult to protect yourself from this attack of sadness and misery.

From my experience I would like to say that only love can give you the strength to protect you. I believe that if you are not protected by love it will be impossible to save your happiness. Only love can dissolve everything and only with love you can live your life with a smile.

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Sexual Abuse in Childhood – Are you a Victim? – 25 Feb 09

Yesterday I talked about people who like being victims. For them it is nice that they get pity and that people feel sorry for them. This is how they enjoy being victims. I knew a woman who claimed to do healing work. She told each third woman who came as a patient: you were sexually abused in your childhood or in your past life. This healer also told me that she was sexually abused in her childhood by her father. When she also said this about her patients, many of them said ‘No, I do not remember anything of this kind.’ But she said: ‘Maybe you do not remember it but it is like this. Maybe someone has touched you when you were a child. And that needs to be healed.’ She told to one woman that she had been abused by her babysitter but she did not believe it.

This woman’s whole idea was to make people victims. They should believe that they are victims. Then she would feel sorry for them and pity them. Of course these poor people then would need to get her treatments and attend her workshops and seminars to be healed and to receive more pity.

I do not see people like this woman as healers. I see them as confused business people who want to confuse others and want them to be victims. Like this their business can grow.

I am not saying anything about someone who has really suffered from this pain in their childhood. I have all sympathy for them and I understand their pain. Many people come to me and many women talk to me about intimate problems also share their hurt and pain of their childhood. Among all people whom I have met there were also women who told me that they think they were sexually abused. But they are not sure. Then I wonder how and why they have got this idea. Some even say that they do not exactly remember what happened, who did and when it happened but something happened. If it was not sex, then somebody touched me. But I do not remember who, when and how. I feel something was there.

I understand those who know, who suffered and who have their pain still in their memory. But I do not understand why those, who do not remember when, why and who did what, want to be a victim. It is okay, if something happened in your past and you do not remember it clearly, accept it and let it go. Do not go into this role of a victim, there is no need to do that!

I can tell one experience of myself. When I was seven or maybe eight years old the wife of my mother’s cousin, who was in that time maybe 35 years old, was guest in our home for two or three weeks. It was summer and it was very hot. It is usual in India that people lie down and sleep after lunch and daily we all lay down for a nap. This woman always took me in her arms and lay me onto her body. I exactly remember that I felt her body and I know she also touched me. And I know I enjoyed something but I was very innocent and did not know at all what sex is or what happens with the body in that time. In that age we were still playing naked on the streets. She felt my body and I felt her body. Deep inside me I felt that somehow it was not right, something was wrong. But now I can only laugh about this. Why should I become victim? Why do I need to carry this burden of thinking in this way?

I hear many times how people make such a big thing out of this. I clearly want to say that I do make a difference between people who were really victims in their childhood, went through this pain or suffered from being raped and people who have got this idea from some other person who planted this doubt into their minds. Being a victim is not a cure. It can be a tendency of behaviour and you have to be brave to leave it. You need to have the strength to step out of the role of being a victim.

Today’s food was sponsored by the praxis for Physiotherapy Heide Baser in Germany. I thank the team who gave their tips to the children to sponsor their food!

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Do you Enjoy being a Victim? – 24 Feb 09

Today I had a very interesting talk with my dear friends Roger and Mady. I was sharing some of my experiences with them. On my journeys I meet many people and as a healer I have to face many problems which are routed deeply in people’s hearts. When I analyze their problems psychologically there is always this question if they really wish to be cured.

I often meet people who come to me for healing particular issues and they tell me that they are since many years suffering from this, this and this. But many times I feel that they are not ready to leave these problems. They want to hold them and keep them because if their problem is gone, they will miss it. They do not find anything with which they could replace it. They will not have any issue. After spending some time with a problem, the problem becomes a companion and they like to keep it. After a while with this problem they like to be in the role of the victim.

They do not want to remove the label of victim. They pretend to the outer world that it is a problem but they do not make a decision to leave their problem. People who have received sympathy because of their problem will miss this sympathy because they got used to it and like it.

I am healer and I would like to give them healing in a smooth way like a sweet tablet which cures them but sometimes it is necessary to give them a bitter tablet, sometimes it is also necessary to give them an injection and sometimes it is even necessary to do surgery. And I do it because my aim is to cure and to heal them.