Yesterday I talked about people who like being victims. For them it is nice that they get pity and that people feel sorry for them. This is how they enjoy being victims. I knew a woman who claimed to do healing work. She told each third woman who came as a patient: you were sexually abused in your childhood or in your past life. This healer also told me that she was sexually abused in her childhood by her father. When she also said this about her patients, many of them said ‘No, I do not remember anything of this kind.’ But she said: ‘Maybe you do not remember it but it is like this. Maybe someone has touched you when you were a child. And that needs to be healed.’ She told to one woman that she had been abused by her babysitter but she did not believe it.
This woman’s whole idea was to make people victims. They should believe that they are victims. Then she would feel sorry for them and pity them. Of course these poor people then would need to get her treatments and attend her workshops and seminars to be healed and to receive more pity.
I do not see people like this woman as healers. I see them as confused business people who want to confuse others and want them to be victims. Like this their business can grow.
I am not saying anything about someone who has really suffered from this pain in their childhood. I have all sympathy for them and I understand their pain. Many people come to me and many women talk to me about intimate problems also share their hurt and pain of their childhood. Among all people whom I have met there were also women who told me that they think they were sexually abused. But they are not sure. Then I wonder how and why they have got this idea. Some even say that they do not exactly remember what happened, who did and when it happened but something happened. If it was not sex, then somebody touched me. But I do not remember who, when and how. I feel something was there.
I understand those who know, who suffered and who have their pain still in their memory. But I do not understand why those, who do not remember when, why and who did what, want to be a victim. It is okay, if something happened in your past and you do not remember it clearly, accept it and let it go. Do not go into this role of a victim, there is no need to do that!
I can tell one experience of myself. When I was seven or maybe eight years old the wife of my mother’s cousin, who was in that time maybe 35 years old, was guest in our home for two or three weeks. It was summer and it was very hot. It is usual in India that people lie down and sleep after lunch and daily we all lay down for a nap. This woman always took me in her arms and lay me onto her body. I exactly remember that I felt her body and I know she also touched me. And I know I enjoyed something but I was very innocent and did not know at all what sex is or what happens with the body in that time. In that age we were still playing naked on the streets. She felt my body and I felt her body. Deep inside me I felt that somehow it was not right, something was wrong. But now I can only laugh about this. Why should I become victim? Why do I need to carry this burden of thinking in this way?
I hear many times how people make such a big thing out of this. I clearly want to say that I do make a difference between people who were really victims in their childhood, went through this pain or suffered from being raped and people who have got this idea from some other person who planted this doubt into their minds. Being a victim is not a cure. It can be a tendency of behaviour and you have to be brave to leave it. You need to have the strength to step out of the role of being a victim.
Today’s food was sponsored by the praxis for Physiotherapy Heide Baser in Germany. I thank the team who gave their tips to the children to sponsor their food!