Give yourself a Hand – why you should masturbate without feeling guilty! – 3 Jun 15

The day before yesterday I told you a bit about my definition of lust and why I think it is good. Yesterday then I finally could tell you why porn does not increase the number of rape incidents – in case some of you wondered. It was all about lust and sex – but today I would like to write about another way of reaching satisfaction: masturbation.

I actually received a comment on my views which I expressed yesterday. I mentioned that one always has the possibility to release lust by helping oneself. A person commented: ‘I don’t think sexual feelings are wrong. I can agree that they are natural – but masturbation is not! It is completely unnatural!’

Unfortunately this is a very commonly spread misconception and not only in India. It is something that teenagers get told when they start feeling sexual urges and want to explore them by using their own body.

Boys are made afraid that each time they spill their semen, they are wasting their life’s energy. The means that each time you masturbate, you cut off some of your lifetime. Masturbate too often and you won’t be able to enjoy a long life. Other parents tell that masturbation causes blindness. Who knows what such boys think when they see blind people! 🙂

Girls are anyway told not to touch themselves. They often get taught a very strange relation to their own body. While it is the sign of great manliness when a man has lots of desire, it is something shameful and sinful for women. Every talk surrounding their genitals is full of shame and guilt, including their menstruation – how could masturbation be accepted? When mothers don’t even tell their daughter more about sex than just to ‘let their husband do’? When women don’t want to use tampons or take vaginally inserted medicine because they are not comfortable touching themselves or fear losing their virginity in this way?

So I know it may not help a lot but maybe just give a few people something to think of when I write here: masturbation is one of the most natural things on this planet! Really, just take a look at the animals around you, they do it all the time! We have monkeys in the garden who love having sex with each other but who don’t mind when nobody else is there – they give themselves relief!

While I agree that we are a bit different from monkeys – even if not too much, as it sometimes seems – masturbation is completely natural for humans as well! It is scientifically proven that there is no medical issue if you help yourself reach orgasm from time to time. You won’t die earlier and you won’t be blind. On the contrary, sexual excitement and an orgasm flushes your body with a whole lot of good hormones, endorphins and more, releasing tension and letting you not only relax. You can concentrate better and are overall happier, as you have fulfilled one basic desire and need!

And just to let you know one thing: it doesn’t matter how much you tell me that you never do it nor that you have done it, we all know better – everybody does and has done it! The amount of guilt each person feels for it however varies greatly!

Of course, if you decide to believe in a god who would punish you for making yourself feel good, it’s your choice. Feel like a sinner – but I tell you, should you just decide not to believe in that guy, you will lead a happier life!

A life in which you can take the things in your own hands – literally!

The Vata Dosha and Your Desires – 31 Jul 08

Today we will come to the third dosha, to Vata. Vata is responsible for the air in our body. If you have more Vata in your body than is normal or good for you, many problems can occur. Physically, all kinds of pain are due to an imbalance in Vata. Vata is responsible for each movement in your body so if you feel tired and lazy it can mean that you have a Vata problem. Symbolically speaking Pitta is anger, kapha is greed and in the same way vata is desire and lust.

I talked about these topics already and I also said that we all have desires. We cannot be free of all desires when we live in this world. And a strong desire can be a wonderful feeling, it actually has great energy. However it is important where the energy is directed to. Whether it is a craving for chocolate or for cigarettes, the energy is not bad. Give it the right direction. This is how people with a problem of desire can get rid of it: turn your desire into love, on the path of devotion. Surrender yourself and you will see how desires get less. In this way desire is transformed and purified.

Today we had a food sponsor for the food in the Ashram. As you can read on the pictures, the food for the children was sponsored by the vegetarian restaurant ‘Zimt & Koriander’ in Wiesbaden. I already told about this restaurant and Pavan, the owner, when we were there for dinner. Thomas gave the inspiration to Pavan to put a savings box for our children into his restaurant and I am happy to see that now, after some weeks in which customers had time to put their change into it, Pavan and his restaurant were able to sponsor today’s food. Of course everyone is welcome to follow this great example and put a savings box into his or her shop, restaurant or center. So a big thanks to Pavan, to Thomas and Iris and of course to everyone who came by and supported this project.

Click here to see pictures of today’s lunch in the Ashram

From Attachment to Desire to Anger – 27 Jul 08

I was talking yesterday about desire and attachment. In the Gita it is also said that desire comes from attachment. If a desire is unfulfilled, it turns into anger and anger makes you blind. In anger you cannot see the truth and your wisdom is gone. When your wisdom is gone, you have lost much. It is the biggest loss that you can have. We need to go into the love. Not into attachment. I have talked much about love and attachment before. You need to love. This only is the way to see the truth.

Accept Lust and Desire in a Healthy Way – 26 Jul 08

Today I would like to tell one story from the scripture Ram Charit Manas. One time Lord Shiva was sitting in his meditation when Kamdev, the God of lust and desire came by. When he saw Shiva meditating he had the idea to tease him and to make him lose his concentration. He used all kind of tricks to distract him but couldn’t manage until a certain point at which Shiva got angry.

Anger is so strong, lust could not make him lose concentration but anger did. Shiva opened his third eye. It is written that his third eye had the power to destroy the whole world. When he opened his third eye, the God of lust and desire went up in flames and all that was rest of him was some ash on the floor.

When she got to know this, Kamdev’s wife Rati came to Shiva. She, the Goddess of attachment, cried and prayed to Shiva. Shiva has a soft heart and when he saw her grief he said: His body is gone and cannot be brought back but I give you my word that he will be present with everyone without his body. Everyone will feel him. Rati replied that for her, as Kamdev’s wife, this was not enough. She needed the body, too. So Shiva gave her another blessing. He promised her that he would be reborn very soon and that she would be married to him then. The scripture continues and Shiva himself, gets ready to get married.

What do I want to say with this excerpt from the scripture? You see, Shiva said that lust and desire will always be with each of us. Only if someone is a great Yogi like Shiva, he can maybe concentrate his power and put an end to lust and desire. But even if he manages this, there is still attachment, the wife of desire. She will try to reincarnate lust and she will succeed. Desire and lust never finishes. Maybe you can defeat it once but attachment will reproduce desire. And what happens when it is back? Shiva gets married and accepts lust and desire in his life. It is a part of everyone and we need to accept it. We can control it though. When people normally look for a relationship, they have a desire or lust. Yogis however start a relationship when lust and desire are in their control. It is good to accept it in a healthy way and not to refuse it. It is the right time to start a relationship when you are not directed by lust and desire.