Some incidents of life and the firm decision to live an honest life changed me from a well-established guru and believer to an atheist. I was living along with the change, changing my actions according to the change of my feelings and thought. I did not compromise but took care to make no difference in my thinking, my talking and my living. I have lost and found a lot on this journey. I have lost many friends who could not accept the change of my thoughts. I know however that real friends have stayed – and interestingly some of them don’t even agree with my thoughts!
When I once voiced this, I got a lot of replies saying that a friendship can only be a real friendship if each other’s thoughts match. Of course this made me think again about friendships, matching thoughts, reasons for being friends and why I am friends with people who don’t agree with my thoughts.
In my former guru life I had disciples from all ranges of society – from people living in slums to billionaires. But when my thoughts changed and I was not anymore believer, many were just not interested anymore. They went away because the reason why they were connected with me was gone. They didn’t need me anymore. Then they searched for a new guru who can approve their belief. They were connected with me due to religious reasons. They were connected because our thoughts matched.
With many friends, the same happened. I lost my friends who could not accept the change of my thoughts. They went far from me and I let them go. In some cases it hurt but then I realized that they were actually not true friends. Why? Because I want to connect to my friends with love, not with thoughts!
If you have befriended someone because of a reason, when those reasons are gone, your friendship has no meaning anymore. In this time, in this age and in this world, I have the feeling that we often see such friendships which exist only because of some reason or purpose. It is very difficult to find a true friend. Anybody who only became a friend because the other one has money, authority or reputation will leave whenever money, authority or reputation is gone! And anybody who is only your friend because he loves one thought of yours will leave you whenever you change this thought!
It is not love when the feeling changes with a change of thought. I know that I am happy where I am now and I feel rich because I chose to keep those jewels in my heart who did not change their hearts with the change of my mind. My mother, my father, my brother and other close friends never told me that they had problems loving me because I don’t believe in God anymore. They don’t have any such problem because their love is not based on any thought or belief. For them it is important that I exist. There is no difference in their love and feelings just because my thoughts changed. That’s true friendship in my eyes.
Now, after a lot of changes, I have those people around me who don’t want from me but who want me. Those people are important for me and they live in my heart. They are subject of my love and friendship and I know that this won’t ever change.
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