Give Advice only when Being Asked – 02 Mar 08


Yesterday after writing the diary I said to Ramona: "Tomorrow we will go to Rishikesh." I said it to Roger, too, because he and Mady wanted to go very much and so we started this morning with our car. We also had to tell it to the driver and my family this morning. I love to live spontaneously and here in India, as I already said, I live without time. I don't even have a clock in the cave where I sleep. It is great just to take quick decisions when you live in the presence. This is how we are now sitting in the car on the way to Rishikesh.

I said yesterday that you have to have something before you can give it to others. It is really important. Many people give advice to others which they are not even following themselves. If they tell others to have more discipline they need it themselves first. You will anyway always get free advice for which you did not ask. Some people love to give advice to others on everything. On business, relationships, health and whatever they can find that others do wrong in their opinion. Certainly they do not mean it in a bad way, they want to help. But you have to see when another person wants you to help and when you are just trying to make him do what you think is right. I never give advice if I am not asked. Everybody has their own perception of what is wrong and what is right. If someone asks for advice, I will tell my opinion. He can decide himself if he wants to follow the advice or not. And he will do that according to his perception of wrong and right. With my advice I want to bring people on the right track of their feelings where they can listen to their own intuition and their inner voice. I never say to anyone that he must do something because I also do not want anyone to tell this to me. I do not like to get this pressure and I do not want to give this pressure. Perhaps I would like to do whatever he says if it is said in another way, without this pressure. In this way I am going to Rishikesh now, not because of pressure but for pleasure.

6 Replies to “Give Advice only when Being Asked – 02 Mar 08”

  1. I really enjoy listening to people, especially at this time in my life when I feel like I have absolutely run out of things to say. I hope I can tell the difference between when to speak and when to be quiet. Normally the things I say are just meant to get people to talk more, but I do also give small pieces of advice and I hope when I do that they are alright.

  2. These are wise words, Swami Ji. Our egos often desire to feel smart by telling someone else how they should live. But someone will not follow your advice unless they are ready and desire it for themselves! It takes maturity to be able to say that, just because other people are different from us, it doesn’t make them wrong and us right. We all have our own inner truths to follow. So I will be careful about giving advice only when asked. Thanks for the wise words. 🙂

  3. If someone truly asks os for help, then it is ok to share your thoughts and say your opinion. But to interfere in somebodies affairs without being asked should be avoided, or do you enjoy, if somebody is telling you the whole time what you should do and who tries to analyze your life?