When I was travelling in Australia in 2007, I also spent some time closer to the coast and went to the beach a few times as well. At one place, I remember an individual session very well, of a woman who was a bit fed up with the ‘beach boy attitude’ of her husband as well as her other friends.
When this woman came to me, she started telling that she was not actually Australian. She was Austrian but had come to Australia when she was 20 years old. While travelling, she had met an Australian man, fallen in love and soon decided to stay ‘down under’. They married and spent many great years with each other. She had always been happy in Australia – until a few months before we met, now a bit more than 40 years old.
It was not any incidence or certain event that caused her feeling of dissatisfaction. Nothing in particular was at its starting point but she did mention that it was probably a question of age. When she had been young, her husband and she were at the beach nearly every day. They had a big friend circle and they all met out there to go surfing, to hang out at the beach, to have barbecues and of course to drink alcohol together, dance and party. It had been a great life for many years.
But now, more than 20 years of this lifestyle, she felt like she wanted something more. More than the parties and the beach. Not only in her relationship, also among her friends, she could not find anybody who understood what she felt inside. When she expressed this want for something ‘more’, people asked her whether she wanted to have a child. They encouraged her, saying it was not too late and that this would give her what she wanted – but she was sure that this was not what she wanted. She was not longing for becoming a mother. She just wanted to go deeper.
She cried at this point, telling me that she did not have anybody with whom she could really share her emotions and who would talk a bit more deeply than just about how much fun it all was! About a deeper sense to life!
I listened to her and was the person to just listen to everything she had to share. It all spluttered out of her. In the end, I told her that I could understand her need. She had to find someone to talk with. I had met a lot of people around Australia already and could tell her for sure that there were a lot of people who went deep and enjoyed a conversation that did not only remain on the surface. I recommended starting yoga and going to a yoga studio. Simply by the nature of yoga, you would find a yogic community of people who wanted this ‘more’ – and if it is not the right people in the first place you go to, try another one! There are so many now – you will find company and friends! As far as your marriage is concerned however: talk, talk, talk!
I hope and believe it helped her, although I have not heard of her anymore afterwards.
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