Yesterday I wrote that you can only express a tiny part of what you feel. It is funny, when I said this to my friend he laughed: how many feelings some people must have if you judge from their amount of expressing!
It is true, some people talk and talk and I sometimes get the feeling that these people express much but do not feel anything. They say so many things from so many angles and about so many topics but if you go to the root of what they said, that sentence did not come from the heart. It was just a creation of the moment, something they said to fill the silence with words. There are so often just set phrases which are not felt.
There is a whole lot of set phrases which we use without thinking. ‘Hello – how are you – I am fine, thanks’ and ‘okay, see you next time – thank you for the invitation – have a nice evening – bye!’ are like standard sentences that you can learn by heart and just say whenever you want to welcome someone or tell them goodbye. But where is the feeling?
‘I miss you’ is another one of these words. How often do you use these words without even feeling them? Have you ever felt longing from the heart for a loved one who is not there? Do you really know the meaning of missing? When I hear words like these which feel artificial and unreal, I have to ask why it is like this? Maybe those who say it only learned the word but their heart does not feel it, it doesn’t know it! Their heart never missed anyone, never had the pain of longing for someone. And that is how they can say it without having a meaning.
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Your words are encouraging. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who is bothered by these pre-formulated questions and answers. Glad to see thee are others who notice the void hat’s there when nothing is said from the heart.
Mary- No! You are NOT the only one who is bothered by these questions. Many many people feel the void and lack from empty words. Most people don’t express their frustration, so everyone feels alone. If we all would start saying things that matter to us then we’d see that the world is full of people who have concerns like you and who really crave substance.
I miss people all the time! And I tell them that, but I kind of hate it when they say it back to me, right after I say it to them, because of the frequency with which it is used, I can’t trust when people say it back. But when they say it and I haven’t said it fist then I usually trust them. Same deal with “I love you.” Don’t say it back to me! Say it when I am not saying it, or how will I know?
I think you made a good point that many people use these “filler” phrases to cover up moments of silence. They are uncomfortable with silence because they don’t know how it will be interpeted. So they just speak and speak without thinking because it’s better than having an “awkward silence.” But this is just the mind playing into fear. I definitely talk a lot to be friendly sometimes. But I will take this to heart and work on slowing down my mind and only speaking from the heart! Thanks Swami Ji. 🙂