Dear Apra,
I know one day you will sit in front of a computer screen, a laptop or whatever will be the latest technical device in that time and read these lines. I imagine that you are actually reading all those articles which we have marked with the tag ‘Apra’, indicating that I am writing about you, our small daughter.
My little one, you are now seven months and six days old and I have loved every single minute that we have been together, from the very first second of your life to this moment when you are lying on your uncle’s bed, sleeping, exhausted and finally at rest. You have been crying, cranky, not knowing what to do and resisting our efforts to distract you – teething has begun!
It started with a fever two nights ago and then you were just not the same happy you throughout the day. You laugh of course and also talked in your ‘aahs’ and ‘mmhs’ that you use to do so much now but in between again and again we can see that you are not feeling easy. Your head is hot from time to time, your body, too, and we have given you the medicine the doctor gave us against fever.
You put your fingers in your mouth, you put your toys in your mouth and from time to time we put our fingers to check whether these teeth are out already now so that your problems with them are over.
Every time when I hear you crying, when I even hear you squeal like you would or when I even see your face starting to get red, about to cry, I want to pick you up, hold you in my arms and do whatever it is that can make you feel comfortable again. I know my kisses cannot take your uneasiness. I know swinging you from one side to the other cannot make your pain disappear but I know when you are in my arms, with your face at my neck and shoulder, you can feel my love. Sometimes this makes you relax and you can fall asleep, your breath still on my neck.
Sometimes I regret that I don’t have the unfailing possibility to soothe you that your mother has – nature has just not provided men with this. But seeing you in comfort, satisfied and finally relaxing again, in any way, makes me flow over with love.
I love you baby and what makes me happy again in this situation is that we all have gone through this but nobody remembers it. Once you read this, you will also have forgotten – in fact, you forget it each time when you get better. Then you laugh and smile, not thinking of fever dreams or aching gums, even though you are obviously exhausted. The whole night long your mother and I have been feeling your hot forehead but in the morning you woke up, sat up straight away and gave us your big smile like every morning. You are a happy girl after all!
This all will bring one good thing: your teeth will finally come so that you can bite off and chew the few things that you have not eaten yet!
I realize that you, maybe in your teenage now, might read these lines and think that I am overly sentimental. But then again I guess you know me by now and know who I am – your loving father, who is not only crazy for you but never hesitates to express this in words and actions.
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