When Achievements and Success are more important than Happiness

When Achievements and Success are more important than Happiness – 20 Aug 13

Post author:Balendu
Post published:20/08/2013
Post category:Work
Post comments:1 Comment

Yesterday, when I told you of our new project, I mentioned that a lot of sports create a feeling of competition that children will still get enough of in later life. While a sportive competition can be fun and is not always something to avoid, the competitions that people face ‘in real life’, especially at the workplace, create lots of unhealthy pressure and stress!

Actually, it already starts in school these days. There has of course always been an atmosphere of competition when it came to the announcement of marks. Every student tries to find out how well the classmates did, compares his achievement with his friends and tries to bet as well or better than them. This natural competition however is fuelled and enlarged by the education system that provides awards in all kinds of areas, always honouring ‘the best’, making everyone else long for the same kind of appreciation for their accomplishments.

This is school, still a protected environment with regulated ways and a clear frame. It provides the base for what you will experience later, in the wild of real life! If you haven’t learned until this point that you are only worth something if you make accomplishments, you will have to learn it the hard way.

You find a job in a big company because you believe that gives you good career possibilities – a chance to make more and more achievements. You give your best and maybe it follows, an accomplishment, the best sales of the region, the highest amount of profit of the year, you are awarded the ‘newcomer of the year’ in your company, you get honoured again, maybe combined with a pay raise. If you are second, you don’t. If you are only in the mid-range or one among the last in the statistics, you are nothing. You don’t get attention, you are not very much appreciated. You are there and that’s it.

I think I don’t need to explain what kind of working climate this creates, what kind of feelings this gives to those who don’t win! This is what modern society teaches people: You are good if you are the best. You are good if you are the number one. If you are in the higher range, your ego gets artificially boosted so that you perform even better, bringing even more income and profit to the company.

Some people will run among the first and the best, performing until they cannot do it anymore, breaking down under the pressure. Others will try and try to reach there, always in mid-range, never really getting there, getting depressed because they just never get the appreciation that they are so much striving for. And then there are those who never have a chance, who are always at the bottom of the statistics. They either live in fear of being replaced or they get numb to the competition that is happening around them – because they won’t ever make it to the top.

We cannot go on like this! We have to stop, take a break and realize that we cannot anymore identify ourselves only with our achievements. It won’t bring us happiness and it won’t make anybody love us any more than they did before. If you believe that your company loves you because you are bringing income, realize that you are only loved and valuable as long as you make that profit.

This may sound hard but I think you need to realize this in order to save yourself from a breakdown due to this artificial pressure! It doesn’t matter whether you are successful in this competition or not, do not place your complete happiness in this game! Don’t search for appreciation there! You have to build a network of family and friends and a strong inner self-worth that is independent of such competition. Otherwise you will fall and it will hurt. Make sure your complete self-esteem does not arise from your achievements at work. Look at who you are, realize that you are you and that this information in itself is enough to make you feel good. You don’t need to be the best. You don’t need to be the first. Enjoy the game if you like it, play along as long as you have fun. And if you don’t, just don’t play along.