Recently someone asked me for my advice in a personal matter: he worked hard and had long working days. When he came home from work, he was tired after a whole day’s work with lots of stress. He either had no time or, if he had time, he was too tired for having sex! That however left his wife unsatisfied and unhappy. What should he do?
First of all, it is a good thing you are turning to people for advice because it is about time! Once the unhappiness in your relation reaches a level where loud complains start and one partner resents the other, you have to rethink your lifestyle! And ideally make a few bigger changes as well!
Secondly, I hope not only your wife is missing bedtime fun but you, too!
Once you are married, there is someone in your life who has certain expectations of you, and rightfully so! I am not talking monetary expectations here! To be fully clear, I am not even talking only about physical expectations! Actually, this problem is not really about sex. It is about emotions and love. As your partner in love, your wife has a certain right to your heart and your time!
You decide: what is important to you? Are you living for your work or do you work for a living? Are you enjoying your work more than the time with your wife?
Don’t get me wrong, you should enjoy your work. There should however always be more joy in the time that you share with your family or partner. If it was not possible for you to share your heart in this way, you should have chosen another way of life!
A lot of people would say ‘I am doing all of this hard work for them, my family, for their future and for the children!’ Especially when you have children, you should realize that you cannot enjoy your time like this. If you work less, earn a bit less but spend some more time together, you will actually have a better life, I promise!
If you continue in this way, you and your partner will slowly get further apart from each other. You choose now whether you want to take more interest in being together and loving each other or more interest in work. If you choose work and she find something else, another interest that she wants to invest her time into, you are not in a position to complain!
Don’t expect your wife to be sitting at home, keeping the house clean and waiting forever for you to come and spend time with her. Or sleep with her – although sex is in this case more a symbol of your closeness. It is the physical expression of the love you have for each other. And right now, your work is slowly killing it.
You need to have time for your loved ones in daily life and then take out time for real weekends and holidays as well. Live your life!