Yesterday I told that I am a very emotional person. I can cry if I am sad because I do not want to suppress my feelings. And in the same way I can be very happy if there is a reason for joy and happiness. Then I can just simply be happy. We did a lot of things today and this is how I am happy that it is done.
We also had an interesting talk with Thomas who had been on a music seminar and told of some funny experiences. They did a sharing circle and one woman told about the death of her dog, another one told that she had just been divorced and so on and everybody started crying when it was his or her turn.
When the turn came to him, he just said that he was very fine and enjoyed his life. Everybody from the group looked at him and didn’t believe it. The group leader said that this could not be true. Can you imagine this happening? You tell someone that you are fine and he says it cannot be true. And why? Because it is not normal, because people feel that others have something that they don’t have – true happiness. They even said to Thomas that he was always so jolly, that could not be right. He was told he was suppressing his depression.
Fortunately Thomas doesn’t think of this very much but some people would really become serious at that point and think about it if that was true and what sad thing they could say. Depression and sadness has to be a part of life here. If you are just happy, if there is not anything sad in your life, then something must be wrong. I say that happiness should be your normal state of mind.
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What a point. When I read that Thomas said he was fine I wondered for a moment as well if he was suppressing his emotions. Many people in the West are sick from this suppression and it is culturally appropriate to say that you are “fine” and happy when you are not. It is taboo to say that you are sad or afraid unless something astronomically terrible has happened to you and even then when, where and with whom you share your sadness is specific and narrow. If you say you are happy this is okay if not expected but it is not expected that you are truly happy. That is so strange. “Happy” people who joined some kind of support group or did some kind of therapy would be expected to reveal their true emotions that must be great pain and sadness. I’ve never noticed this.
I can identify with this. I have spoken to my close friends before about how it seems that happiness is a small part of life and sadness is the majority. it is strange, right?
When you think about happiness and sadness, sadness could always be more deeply bad than happiness could be deeply good. and by this, I mean in terms of extremes sadness could bring you farther away from nutral than happiness could. It can always be bigger than joy. Always.