How to fight Feelings of Loneliness

We recently had a participant in our Ayurveda Yoga Holiday at the Ashram and I would like to tell you a little bit about her problem and our suggestion what she could do against it – of course without revealing her identity. I just believe that her issue and feelings could be similar to those of many people especially in the west: she often feels lonely.

I have often written about how western society emphasizes individualism. From the beginning on you learn to be on your own, not only to be independent but also not to feel lonely. It is taught because the society does not have a lot of big families but rather single people living on their own, sometimes in couples with one or maybe two children. There is no guarantee however that you will find a suitable partner – and no guarantee that you really learn not to feel lonely!

That's how I have met a big number of people who tell me that they have a great job, earn good money but nevertheless are lonesome and always longing for company. Often, they don't really manage to satisfy this need.

The woman who had been here, had such a problem. She was in her thirties, no partner and no children, only a few friends and most of them married and with family. She told us that she was not a very social person, not eager to go out and meet new people and that it took her long to make new friends.

In the Ayurveda Yoga Holiday, we used exercise and massages to help her with her physical issues but we also had a suggestion for her mental and emotional problem, her loneliness:

We asked her to help in the garden and with the school. Yes, we told her to spend time with children and with nature in order to fight her loneliness.

Children have a great power that nobody else has: when you are with them, you don't need to talk about certain things, don't need to fulfill any expectations and don't even need to speak the same language. You can just be with them and they are with you like they are with all other people. Do something with them and for them and you will see what kind of joy you will get! A feeling that fights your loneliness because all of a sudden you have many small friends!

And nature has, although of very different type, a very similar effect. Spend time out, connect with the plants, the green, the roots and flowers. I know you may now think that this won't replace the closeness to a friend, a real human being and maybe you are right. But try going out instead of sitting at home, passing time and you will see that it will provide you with a better sense of balance than the concrete walls of your living room and your TV shows can ever do!

You can now find a lot of arguments against mine. Don't listen to them but just try. Nature, a garden or a park is something you can find everywhere. Of course, you may not have a primary school or a kindergarten next door where you can just spend time with kids. There are however a lot of projects, institutions and places where they need exactly that: a person to spend time with children. Help out in such a place and you will see that it is help not only for them but also for you!