Trust is Good and Control is NOT better! – 20 Aug 08


Today was our last day here in Luxembourg. The country is very nice. It is small but very green and just lovely. I was not here for working, but being with Roger and Mady. With some relations you can’t explain but you just feel a deep connection. Roger is like a brother for me and Mady has a motherly love for Yashendu. It is wonderful to be with them.

I was talking with Roger. He said that here is a saying: Trust is good but control is better. It seems that people here grow up in that culture and don’t really learn to trust. They want and try to control everything and that is the truth for every human: We do not want to be controlled. And if we don’t want to be controlled, why do we have the wish to control somebody? I said to him that I believe in trust. Trust is very necessary and the foundation of any relation or love. Without trust you cannot enjoy the intimacy of love and a relation can’t be strong. Perhaps this is the reason, the lack of trust, that people don’t feel close. They always try to control. So we had a wonderful talk and a nice time here. In the evening we went to an Italian restaurant for some Pizza and tomorrow after breakfast we will go back to Wiesbaden to start our last program before leaving to India on the 1st of September.

5 Replies to “Trust is Good and Control is NOT better! – 20 Aug 08”

  1. Control almost seems like the opposite of trust when I think about it. when you don’t trust something you may try to control it. But you cannot trust thigns you try to control either, because control is largely an illusion. and especially with human beings… you can’t control them. I’m unsure why the Germans have this phrase, it’s seems surprisingly short sighted and I’m guess that that’s because I’m viewing it outside the cultural context it was intended for.

  2. Control is a major part of American culture. You see it in parenting, schooling, the judicial system. It breeds a lot of mistrust and fear.

  3. i am learning after a failed relationship that control never equals love… controlling others comes in different forms: fear, manipulation, withholding of mind, body and spirit… thank you for sharing such great information on this site, i have learned a lot! another new favorite site of mine is …enjoy and blessings. xo