‘I trust you’ is more valuable than ‘I love you’ – 26 Jul 12


Everywhere and all over the world people believe that the words ‘I love you’ are the most important and greatest words that you can say to anybody. In many relationships, the point of time when one partner says to the other one ‘I love you’ is thought to be the sign that it is for real, that you have reached to the point of love. I think however there is an even more important sentence: I trust you.

Obviously, when someone tells you ‘I love you’, it makes you feel good. You have the feeling that there is something in you, your being, your way of acting and what you say or also your physical body, something or all together, that made the other one love you.

I believe however that you can love anybody and anything in the first moment. I do believe in love at first sight, not only for people but also for things. When you see something in a shop, when you hear a bird’s voice, when you look into someone’s eyes – all those moments can make you love whatever you are seeing or hearing. It happens instantly and from your side.

For trust however, it takes a bit more. There may be people in your life whom you love but whom you would not trust, be that with money or with your feelings. Trust goes deeper than that. I have said many times that without trust, love cannot grow. It is the basis, the earth in which love grows.

So when someone says ‘I love you’, it makes you feel good but when someone says ‘I trust you’, it means much more. It means that the other one believes you to be trustworthy. He gives you something from him that makes you in a way responsible. You are now responsible to keep his trust.

Obviously, it is not only the words that someone says, it is the actions of people that show their love and trust. You don’t necessarily need to hear those words ‘I love you’ to know that it is true. And if someone tells you their deepest secrets or hands you his purse with money, you don’t need to hear him say ‘I trust you’ in order to know that he does.

Should you ever break someone’s trust, it may be that there is still love but it will not be able to grow anymore.

Both feelings, the feeling to be loved and the feeling to be trusted, are very necessary in life. You need those feelings for your self-confidence, for your emotional security. When you feel loved, you know that anything can happen but there will be someone there for you. And if you feel trusted, you know that you are the one that another person relies on.

Take care not to break either, love or trust. They are very difficult to repair and once broken, you will always see the spot where it broke, even if you fixed it. So take care of those around you, know who puts his trust on you and freely give love to others.

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