Yesterday I spoke about the life of celebrities and mentioned that it is not as great as some people always imagine. I told people to see how good lives they have and to be happy about it before comparing and complaining. I received a feedback of a person saying she cannot do anything else but compare when she sees those stars because they just seem to have so much free time. She said she was so busy with her work and although she knows that they also work hard, she just sometimes feels overwhelmed with all the things she has to do. I thought to write a few lines about this feeling.
Maybe many of you know the feeling that she described. If you have children, your day starts with preparing breakfast for them and getting them ready for kindergarten or school. That can be fun but is definitely a task and sometimes it is a very challenging task. After that you get yourself ready, maybe already in a rush so that you can get to your office on time. There are hundreds of papers, missed phone calls and tasks for the day already waiting for you – you look at it and feel as though this is something that will never stop. It is a never-ending story. You sit down and start your work. Before you know it, it is lunch break. Instead of taking a break though, you head out to buy shampoo, soap and a few other things that you ran out of. You grab something to eat on the way and eat it while walking back. You return to work and continue. Then you need to pick up the kids and maybe drive them to after-school-activities. Apart from that there is your dentist appointment and the bank work that you have not done last week. You come home, enter the door and see that you have not hovered for a complete week – it is time to clean the house, too! And now summer is coming, the winter clothes have to go to the basement, the summer clothes have to come up. You send a quick mail to your friend whom you have not replied for ages, telling her that you don’t have time this weekend, too busy. You shortly greet your partner, who is still busy with the laptop and his own work. Maybe you have a few minutes to have dinner together before you have to water the plants in the garden. In the end of the day you fall into your bed, thinking that you have to stop now in order to get at least a few hours of sleep before another day starts.
I just described one particular day. There are of course different scenarios for different lives with different jobs and with or without children. The main common problem however is the stress and the feeling that there is no time. When would you have extra time or energy to go out and have fun in such a day? Every day is packed full and you have the feeling that on one hand your housework never ends and on the other hand the job never ends. There is more and more and more – and finally you have the feeling that you could just vanish and never reappear because of all the things you still have to do.
If you are in this situation, I want to urge you to take some time out, otherwise you will reach that situation that is nowadays popularly called ‘burnout’. If you go on the way that you do it now, you will break down one day and you won’t be able to do anything anymore.
How does this situation appear? You are not taking care of yourself and your needs. Many times people in those situations take their energy from the appreciation from outside. That can be their boss saying that they have done good work or it can be others appreciating the cleanliness of house and garden. Even if there is no outspoken appreciation from outside, though, people often do this all because they think it is expected and they want to do it right. This is what they believe makes them a valued person, worthy of love and appreciation.
You need to realize however that it is not your work that makes you lovely. It is not your clean house or garden that make you lovely. It is your being. It is just you! And if you keep on going in this way, there will soon not be much of you left! When did you take a bath the last time? When did you just sit down and relax? When did you play, when did you enjoy, when did you not run around, also mentally, to finish your tasks?
Make a conscious choice to do something for yourself. Take a day for going to a spa if you like. Or just lie in your garden. Cook something what you like or go out and have a nice dinner with friends. Do anything that makes you feel good but not because you have achieved something. Take your time! It is possible. That is the reality! We have this life now and we need to live it. There is always time to enjoy life, we just have to take it! Stop running behind achievements and appreciation from outside. Appreciate yourself, love yourself and take time for yourself.
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A lot of people in the West tend to spend more time with their job than with other things. They are always busy and even when they arrive at home, they can’t let their work stay out. The job is a huge part of their identity and often they lose themselves in it. Thus it is very important to take time out, doesn’t matter how.
I agree with you also at the same time there is power in just being able to say no to certain things, instead of yes to everything and piling up your plate so high until you can no longer carry it, which is also not good for stress levels, neither for you or your family. But sometimes it is so hard to just take some time away from the business of each day how do we do it?