I yesterday told you that a to-do-list can create stress. Stress is the reason for so many people these days suffering from burnout and not being able to go to work. The negative effect of stress is not, however, reduced to your office and work time. Surveys show that couples report a lot of problems that are related to their spouse having stress and being under pressure. Relationships can even break apart due to stress!
It is not difficult to imagine someone having stress at work. Your boss demands more and more, you feel that time is less, important business meetings have to be prepared, it is all about a lot of money and reputation and everything is getting quicker and quicker these days, giving you less time to do all your work.
It may be a bit more difficult to understand how this stress could possibly destroy the connection of love that you have with your husband or wife. It is possible however – because stress is not limited to the office! You bring it back home with you!
Most people nowadays are available for work even during their private times. Their phone keeps them updated with work mails and calls. Some employers even require them to be available 24/7. Obviously, if you are stressed at work, you need time to relax before you can be the loving spouse or even parent you would like to be.
Your partner would obviously like to spend quality time with you but after a long and stressful day at work, chances are you don’t feel like doing a lot! Maybe you don’t even feel like speaking much! You would appreciate a massage, a bath, nice dinner and maybe quiet time on the sofa. You are met with expectations of giving a massage as well, getting social and going out for dancing or doing something else together.
At the same time, because you are not relaxed yet and couldn’t let go of your stress, you start reacting differently than normal. Constant stress makes you irritated, impatient and annoyed. Not the most lovely way to react to your partner!
You lack the energy of giving your relationship the attention it needs. You aren’t lacking love, not at all, and maybe the other knows this, too – but for a loving relationship, you need a bit more. You need time together, without your mind being at work or hibernating because you had such a difficult day. You have to be able to talk, laugh and enjoy time together, not just to recover from work. That’s the reason why most people cannot relax in a one-week holiday: they need a few days to calm down first before they can really enjoy!
So before your partner gets to the point that he or she is annoyed with you for being stressed, before that talk can even come up: change something. Nothing is more important than love in your life. Not work, not money. You need to work, you need to earn money to live, I know, but reduce on your stress levels!
It is absolutely necessary – for you, your life and your love!