Media Should Not Create Stories that Ruin Lives – 5 Jan 11

Society

Today I want to write about a local story, which is now called the sex scandal of Vrindavan, but which actually started last year in beginning of August. One day, our guard came and gave us a USB stick which a stranger had given to him in front of the gate. He did not know that man and just told us that it was for us. When we saw the data which was on that stick, we all were shocked. What we were looking at were the private pictures of an old classmate of mine, all a few years old. I had been to school with this man and his wife and we are friends even if we had not seen each other for a long time. And there they were, pictures and videos of them being intimate with each other.

What I did was to immediately call this friend and ask him to come to the Ashram. I showed him the data that was anonymously delivered to us. He told me that the month before, in July, his computer had crashed and he had taken it to a computer shop for repairing. He knew already that someone had in that time stolen his data because we were not the only ones who had received it. I suggested he should go to those people of whom he thinks that they have the data and tell them that it is private data. If he had not done anything wrong, he should not worry.

This issue did not come up anymore and I thought it to be resolved until we received his phone call last week. He asked us for help, telling us that his private data was out in public now, with many more people some of whom started blackmailing him. What he was afraid of was that anybody could go to the media with those pictures and videos. Of course we don’t have control over local media and this is how we saw news about him in local newspapers and TV channels today.

The story that the journalists created however shocked us even more. According to the news, he has been involved in the sex movie business for years now. They presented him as a porn star who earns his money by selling his movies abroad.

Why did the media do this to the family when they made them part of a sex scandal? This man has a teenage son and a teenage daughter! The whole town of Vrindavan knows about this now, half of the people have the videos and pictures on their mobiles and this family’s social life is over. Even if you say that taking pictures and videos of himself and his wife is wrong, how can it be right what you did? You ruin not only his and his wife’s lives but also the life of their children!

Media always loves to have sensational news to have some more readers, some more watchers and just some kind of story. If however you create a wrong story and by this ruin somebody’s life, it is not right. I think media persons should act with more responsibility! He has of course made a police report and accused those people of whom he thinks that they took and spread the data. Of course, the media story does not stand a chance in front of court but his social life will be non-existent after this.

I have written before about how many dirty things are going on in religious centers, organization and even in temples, especially here in Vrindavan. Media should spend more time cleaning up that dirt instead of creating false stories of sex scandals about the intimate pictures of a married couple. I hope after some time people will forget and he and his family will get peace back into their lives.

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  1. Ursula Nujici

    Such is the nature of humans …. they only believe what they want to believeAnd welcome any diversion 26. diversion from they own muck

  2. Manoj Kargudri

    Very Good article explaining what are the consequences when the power is mis-utilized.When the power goes in the wrong hands.
    When the personals who are supposed to provide justice, healing and transparency to societies manipulate and mismanage.
    When the protector of law breaks the laws.
    When media is used to create sensational news at the cost of innocent lives.
    When media is used to create wealth with greed, wickedness and bad ambitions.

    Politics is for good but some politicians are bad.
    Money is for good but some ways of making money are bad.
    Management is for good but some managers are bad.
    Religion is for good but some saints are bad.
    Law and order is for good but some lawyers are bad.
    Leadership is for good but some rulers are bad.
    Organization is for good but some presidents are bad.
    Technology is for good but some techies are bad.

    Conclusion: Everything is for good but some people who manage them are bad.
    Good or bad lies with the human being who is handling the task.
    We see a downfall with negligence in discipline, character and moral values.
    It 19s the destruction of bad that protects the good.
    It 19s the job and duty of law and order to punish the bad.
    Constructive is difficult where as destructive is easy.
    It 19s difficult to create good where as its easy to destroy.

    http://sam131141510thebittertruth.blogspot.com/2007/12/duty-responsibility-law-and-order.html

  3. Jenny

    Wow! I mean, this is really crazy, you cannot believe anything that the media says! And to call it ‘Vrindavan Sex Scandal’ is the funniest thing I have ever heard. There is a whole lot of stuff going on in Vrindavan that would be rather worth being called a sex scandal than this!You already mentioned that in many temples and organizations there are actually much worse things going on.
    Well, you cannot change the journalists and their greed for sensations! But it is sad to see this!

  4. Narayan

    I cannot believe that this is happening in the holy area of Vrindavana Dham. There have never been any sex scandals in Vrindavan, nobody every before did unholy actions at the shore of the Yamuna as this wrong Acharya did but now it happened.If it is true what the media says, it is very bad.
    Your point is however that the media is wrong. And if this kind of lying is happening in Vrindavan, it is even worse. Then it would be a fake sex scandal with CDs and Videos of private intimacy.
    A sad time for all of us.

  5. Mike

    Well, Narayan, time to see the truth!The holiness of Vrindavan is only a myth, a part of mythology, not of reality. See it as a normal city, just like every other town. And in a normal town, people have sex, even without it being a scandal!
    It is not a blue film if someone films himself and his own wife. You should have sex out in nature, it is wonderful, so why not at the banks of the Yamuna? And most of all, why do media people interfere? It is none of their business!
    Sorry to des-illusion you but Vrindavan is a normal place, although very beautiful…

  6. Natasha

    After reading this blog I have been searching more about this stuff on internet. I did not find much about it but then I saw news on TV and the way they present it is absolutely wrong. No one has right to interfere in anybody’s personal bedroom life or to bring their intimate moments, photos & videos to the public. I do not give any comment on what the couple did for their fun in their bedroom. If they make videos or take photos it is nobody’s business how & what the couple should be doing and not doing in their bedroom. I think if the people who are making this such an issue were advised to have only sex like this and not like this, they would not like it either. Whatever the couple did was their karma but what the media and others are doing by distributing these videos and photos to public is a serious crime as they are disturbing so many people and manipulating so many minds to ruin someone’s life. I think who has brought this news, photos & videos to public and media should go to prison. Media should revert this news and should apologize to this couple. I really feel very sad and so much love & sympathy for their children who have to go through this hell of bad fame of their parents…..

  7. Saundra

    Swami Ji, I’m really glad you posted this on your journal, maybe now this man, who I’m sure is in a lot of pain, will see that he has someone on his side. Maybe others in Vrindavan will read this and think twice about judging him. I hope so.

  8. Kelly

    What someone does in their own house, especially if it is a consentual act of love and pleasure between spouses, is their own business. Who cares if they tape it. What kind of a nasty person would want to spread around hurtfulness like that. Obviously it is OK with God if married people have sex, or he wouldn’t have sanctified marriage. But what God would NOT support is destroying people like this. So sad. So sad.

  9. Harry

    Those people are just jealous because they don’t have sex lives, they want to make everything look dirty.

  10. Tabitha White

    Those poor children. This will affect their relationship with their parents and also their peers forever.

  11. Hillary

    There are so many things in the world that can make a woman feel ashamed- but a sex tape? I can’t imagine.

  12. Sharon Hale

    Sex… it’s so interesting. Everyone is doing it, and everyone is embarrassed about it. Should this really be how it is? People are so ashamed of nakedness, even when it doesn’t involve sex. Then a video is posted of you and you’re naked and having sex. Don’t we all have skin under our clothes? Don’t we all participate in acts of intimacy with others? Yes. Then why would evidence of this in someone’s life ruin the whole family? I am disappointed that humans have come so far and still act this way. I am sorry for the shame the whole family feels and I hope that evidence of intimacy really doesn’t ruin all of their lives.

  13. Laura Ratchet

    Even if this was a true story what is the point of telling it? What in us makes us want to expose others in this way? It is a very important question. Honesty is very helpful to us but this kind of exposure (if it wasn’t a lie) would not be about being honest. And if we could feel the harm we did to ourselves and others by telling these kinds of stories, true or not, we would not choose this.

  14. Candice from WA

    I hate to think that this man would fear sexual expression after this or fear that he has done wrong. If I were him i would hope to take this experience as an opportunity to let things be as they will be without resistance.

  15. Manny Williams

    This reminds me that no matter how much I dislike someone who is slammed in the media, I do not know the truth or understand their experience and so I should not take my own opinions so seriously. This poor man. I’m really sorry this happened and I hope that he can find the difficult ways to allow good to come from this for himself and his own consciousness.

  16. Lauren

    My friend told me once “Oh come on! Relax! Everyone gossips.” I remember being really surprised when she said this. Not everyone says bad things about others but most important I know plenty of people who just wouldn’t want to. They wouldn’t want to at all, not because they believe it is wrong but because there is no point to it. It doesn’t cross their mind to do it.

  17. Katnis Everdeen

    Would it make the news if anyone publicly stood up for this man? Is it not a scandal that the media made up a story?

  18. Edwin Yancy

    I count on the media for being unbiased. Most of the people I know have been introduced to western education in the postmodern era. We have considered the limits of any organizations ability to be objective but this is an extreme that pushes the limits. I think that it is really important that a huge part of all journalistic training incorporates preventatives to this type of cautionary tale. Education is key because wisdom and compassion cannot always be expected.

  19. Cheryl from South London

    I also wonder how terribly this will effect those kids. I worry that they will resent their parents or worse even, not trust them.

  20. Agatha

    Is the family considering moving? I’m not from India and I don’t understand what an appropriate response to this kind of humiliation would be. If they could move would they? Does this bring shame to the whole family or just the man and his wife? When people talk about this man and the video do they really believe in this story? Do they feel ashamed of saying these things about him? Did the media believe their own fabrication? I mean was the medias story a mindless assumption or an act of perversion?

  21. Terry Rawls

    The media does love sensational news. I get so angry with them that I loose sight of how innocently these things can unfold. A man from the press receives a tape. He watches it. He asks several people about it. They all say different things but what sticks out in his mind, without him knowing it is the ugliest news. He thinks of himself as doing his job well by telling this story. He forgets that it will hurt someone. He may truly believe it is right to expose this indecency. I doubt this specific example is the way things happened. But my point is that most people do not try to be terrible.

  22. Tad Wethers

    This is really so sad. I hope that this man can stop the cycle of violence that someone else started by not making enemies out of his enemies.

  23. Kelly Heuizen

    It is remarkable, how quickly a word of gossip will bring you down into your own misery.

  24. Emily

    This is such an unfortunate and horrible occurrence. It’s crazy that the media wastes so much time bringing harm to others by making up stories. Don’t they have more important things to report on?? And don’t the people of Vrindavan who know this man realize that it’s all lies? I guess this just proves that it’s not a good idea to have photos or videos that you don’t want others seeing…. be extremely careful.

  25. Joanne

    I think the saddest thing about this story is the people who took the data in the first place. The media, although at blame, is payed to tell people about happenings. It is terrible that they exaggerated the story but this man trusted the IT people with his computer and data.

  26. Tricia

    Shame on the media for spinning such a wild story that is so full of libel and slander! How could they rightfully publish this story knowing that they would ruin this man’s life, just because they thought that it would be a good story, it does not at all make it right. As a journalist student we are challenged to fact-check everything and make sure that teverything is nothing but the truth.

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