Is Sex not for Pleasure, only for Reproduction? – 7 Jan 11

Sex

I once knew a couple that lives here in India, both coming from the west. In my eyes they are misguided by a sect, in their opinion they have found their destiny here. One day I got to know that they are expecting a baby and with this news I also heard that they had been eagerly waiting for this confirmation that she is pregnant. You could say they have been trying to get pregnant the whole seven years of their marriage and that is the truth. At the same time however you would need to add that they only had sex three times in this whole time! So how does this fit together?

In their philosophy, and I happen to know that their sect is not the only organization following this idea, you should only have sex to reproduce. Their belief is that they should only sleep with each other if you want to have a baby and not for your own enjoyment. Additionally to this belief that sexual intercourse is only for conceiving and not for actual pleasure, they believe that an astrologer can tell you the right day for conception. He will make a full analysis of the stars and counts on which fertile day of the woman the signs of the stars are good. These days are pretty rare though – three of them in seven years. Twice they tried and it did not work. You can imagine their happiness when it worked out the third time.

Of course it is always very happy news to hear about a new life that is coming to this earth. To hear this kind of story along with it however gives it a strange feeling. The first thing is that whatever your sexual activities are, they are private. If you go around and boast either with how much sex you have or also with how little, you are showing off. In one case you are showing off your sexual potential and in the other case you show off your commitment to the rules of your sect by pretending to be celibate whenever you don’t want to conceive. I actually don’t believe this story. Even if it was true, then why are you together? You are suppressing your body and your feelings.

Why do you have the wish for a baby if you do not have the wish for having sex? Do you think sex is something dirty and forbidden? Why? These people claimed to be Krishna devotees but also Krishna always respected natural feeling and action!

Really, again I have to ask everybody who believes in celibacy: how can sex be dirty or forbidden if it is the source of life? It is natural for animals and humans. Why would it only be allowed for making a baby? If it was such a bad thing to have sex, why did God not provide us with the possibility to have babies without having sex?

I think it is a state of mental sickness if you let an astrologer dictate you when you can sleep with your husband or wife. Where does this sickness come from? From the manipulation of brainwashing sects. They want to have as much control over their members of possible. By controlling this strong basic instinct, they of course feel they are powerful. So should you ever be in a meeting with a group of people who want to tell you on what day and at what time you should have sex, it will be best to leave them as soon as possible and never return. Don’t get stuck in controlling sects. Enjoy your life and enjoy your private and intimate life with your partner, too. Live naturally and love each other, that’s it.

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  1. Joseph Minor

    How can people go on living their lives thinking everything is dirty or shameful? Religion is so good at spreading shame, then again without shame there would be no need for saviors and gurus. Without those the religions wouldn’t last. Seriously though. Why would God make something necessary feel shameful. just because you like something doesn’t mean it’s bad.

  2. Natalia

    Well, people who are searching will agree to so many things!

  3. Rachel

    I can see why people would think this. So many sins are sex-based, I’m not surprised that sex is getting written off almost completely.

  4. Karly Humberman

    A friend of mine use to be an evangelical christian. She believed, with all of herself, in the things that the church adhered to; the strict moral code, her own unworthiness, that God was angry and vengeful, etc. In retrospect she would call these beliefs insane but she also remembers how nothing that anyone said to her, especially in opposition or disagreement changed her mind. Instead other people’s beliefs served to strengthen her own. She could always find a rational way for this to happen. But there was one thing that always surprised her and made her think; the kindness of non-Christians. She would be surprised and curious when she met a non-Christian that showed her love, kindness and respect. And I think those people were a big part of breaking her out of her own distortions. A wise man once said that you will never have to tell someone that your cup is full. They will see it overflowing. I think, that they will see it if anything in them is awake enough to see and if not, there is nothing you can do (nothing but carry on with your full cup). This is what this entry makes me think of; Our disagreements over details and I have enjoyed, Swami Ji, what you have written on this topic before. So much discussion that begins from a sincere recognition…the harm that a belief that sex is a sin causes us, for example…turns into a battle of beliefs which causes us to loose sight of the thing we knew as we become lost in our own egoic disagreements.

  5. Hannah

    In my church they used to preach that the reason women got yeast infections and diseases was because they had sex when they weren’t trying to make babies. And men had impotence because they committed the sin of masturbation.

  6. Cheryl Gaskin

    It is for pleasure. Oh trust me.

  7. Dave Woodes

    Are those all women in that photo? Oh no, just three. Hah! India.

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