As I said yesterday, possessiveness is a subject of the mind. When the mind gets involved in sex, then the body cannot enjoy because the mind stops it from having fun. And you stop the other person from having fun. You want the other person to be in a certain way, to act in a certain way and to react in a certain way. Possessiveness and expectations come along with the involvement of the mind.
A sexual experience could be nice on a physical level, too, but actually it is a spiritual experience which has to take place on the level of the soul where it doesn’t matter if there is physical involvement or not. It can be with and it can be without physical involvement. But it is definitely not healthy on the level of the mind. The push of sexual force onto your mind can even make angry and violent. That is why it is good to let sexual energy flow in body and soul, not in the mind.