Sex and Promiscuity of Men and Women in Society – 9 Nov 10


There is a topic which comes up again and again when I talk with different people. It comes up because it is just naturally in everybody’s mind and it comes up because people have made a very big issue about it: sex. People ask me what I think about sex, about promiscuity, about cheating and about sexual urge.

I heard several times, and of course from women, that the society is unfair regarding women who have a lot of sex compared to men who have a lot of sex. They tell me it seems if a man has several girlfriends, partners or affairs at the same time, he is seen as a great guy, the one who manages to get all these women. Men treat him with respect and maybe even jealousy while women get even more attracted to him. When a woman decides to sleep with changing partners however she quickly gets the reputation of being an easy girl or worse.

I would say that there should not be any difference made in between men and women. Why do you judge a man in another way than a woman? Why do you judge at all? If one person, be that man or woman, decides to have intercourse with different people, it has nothing to do with you, it is their life and their decision.

Of course I am of the opinion if a married person has sex with others, it is wrong. You are in a commitment and if you don’t stick to this, you are cheating the other one, no matter if you are a man or a woman. And even if you are not married but have sex with people who are, you are just the second one who is doing wrong. You are most probably hurting another person through your action.

Apart from that, if you are an adult single man or woman and you have the urge to have sex, you feel sexual need, then I don’t see any problem in it. No difference in gender. If you are hungry, you eat. If you are thirsty, you drink. If you are horny, you have sex. If this is just your instinct, your natural feeling, I would also tell you to go for it and don’t feel guilty about it. Don’t have bad feelings if you have sex in this way. Sex is not a subject of mind, it is a subject of your soul or your body. And if for some time it is simply very physical for you, it is fine!

Of course, I believe it is much more beautiful if there is more love and more soul in it. Then it is making of love and not only physical intercourse. It can happen without love, then you just have sex for having sex. But anybody, man or woman, who has ever experienced sex on the level of soul, will agree that it is the most beautiful experience that you can make.

12 Replies to “Sex and Promiscuity of Men and Women in Society – 9 Nov 10”

  1. There is nothing like making love to your beloved. That doesn’t mean you should only have sex when you are committed and in love. Sex is fun, it is a workout, a great way to get to know someone. As long as you feel GOOD about it and you want to do it do it! (safely)

  2. I have never understood and grow impatient with men thinking that if I want to have sex with one person I don’t know very well, I will want to have sex with another person I don’t know. What does my connection with one person have to do with another? And why would me wanting to have a one night stand one night, for example, imply to someone that this is what I always want. I like icecream but I have no desire to eat it everyday. I also like to try new things and once I have I may not want to again.

  3. I love sex but it is never just sex for me. Not even on the occasions that I have had a one night stand. I may not be attached to a person I sleep with but I always connect with and love their heart. I may not have a long relationship with them but I feel drawn to and fascinated by their insides. That’s just me and I am glad if people do what they want. I do not understand the mind of someone who thinks that a one night stand means that you do not love the person you are with. That is fine with me also but it is tiresome when that opinion is pushed upon me, especially by disrespectful and degrading men. I have no intention of being used or using someone else and if I catch a whiff of that attitude I loose all sexual interest. It grosses me out, not because it is wrong to want to have sex without emotional depth but because I find being treated as a sexual object extremely disrespectful and ugly.

  4. Dear Jesse, Thank you for your openness. I respect very much what you are saying and I understand how hurtful and ugly it could be when anybody feels like a sexual object after being intimate with someone they love even if it was a one night stand. I feel that a conscious decision to be intimate with someone is reflection of love and feelings towards that person. Doesn’t matter if it was a one night stand. Otherwise I wonder how the body would function.

  5. Jesse and Swami Ji,
    I personally never love the people I have sex with, but I also don’t enjoy sex all that much. I like it, but it has never amazed me. Maybe if there was an ounce of love that I would let out then it would mean something to me for once.

  6. Thank you i hardly ever have sex i actually do not understand it that way. and i love with my heart and soul anyways even when no sex is involved ever. love isn’t about sex always

  7. Especially in view of all the unwed mothers and sexually transmitted diseases, sex should not be undertaken lightly and without careful judgement. The world is full of guys who just want to “score”, will say or do anything to get to this goal, and their attitude is whatever happens to the woman as a consequence is her tough luck and her problem. Woman everywhere should be taught to be on guard against this predatory attitude of many men. If a man is serious, he will wait for a relationship to develop before having sex. Also, physical intimacy without love tends to harden hearts and make for jaded people who are more likely to come to see other people as objects to be used for temporary sense pleasures and then discarded. This is morally destructive. While there may be lots of problems with the institution of marriage as it presently exists in Western countries, sex is best reserved for relationships of love and commitment.

  8. Pranam and Greetings, We are all the same Human Beings. At the end of the day we all do the same things. We all eat the same bread, we all expect the same sound sleep, and we all expect the same justice, satisfaction and happiness. In other words some basic necessities remain the same as humans.
    We all have desires, it is natural. Should we control our desires? Is the question. This is where each one of us has different answers. We are all different personalities with different minds, brains, intelligence, beliefs and attitudes. Thus we believe in not discriminating others, not to hurt their feelings with criticism and hatred. At the same time we must show them the right path of life with brotherhood, love and compassion. We must bring this change with Constructive communication with gentleness.

    I personally think we must be intelligent before taking decisions and actions in real life. I believe life partner is a soul mate, with a physical relationship for a life time. I think human mind is wild and crazy, has no boundaries, it is not tamed, and it can thus think and dream with infinite limitations. Thus we should stick to principals in order to have a healthy and controlled mind, body and soul. That is what we call as meditation, in other words cleansing and controlling our ideas and channelizing our thoughts in the right direction, to achieve our humble objective, with optimism, brotherhood, love and compassion. To walk on the right path of life. In other words, implementing meditation in our everyday life, also called as KARMA. What we sow is what we reap. It is very important to be a role model, so that others can follow on these foot prints.

    It is quite natural phenomenon that if we eat more that required, and something junk in order to satisfy our hunger, we may not have a healthy body, mind and soul.

    I would also like to add a few lines of a very primitive vedic Sanskrit Scripture/Sloka, which very much explains the qualities of a Vaishnava. It explains principles how a vaishnava must live his life:

    Vaishnav jan to tene kahiye je! Peed paraayi jaaNe re!
    Meaning:[One who is a vaishnav] [Knows the pain of others]

    Sam-drishti ne trishna tyaagi! Par-stree jene maat re!
    [A Vaishnav sees everything equally, rejects greed and avarice] [Considers some one else’s wife/daughter as his mother]

    Moh-maaya vyaape nahi jene! Dridh vairaagya jena man maan re!
    [A Vaishnav does not succumb to worldly attachments] [Who has devoted himself to staunch detachment to worldly pleasures]

    Van-lobhi ne kapat-rahit chhe! Kaam-krodh nivaarya re!
    [Who has no greed and deceit] [Who has renounced lust of all types and anger]

    Interested Readers Can also find this TRANSLATION here:

    They can also listen the same on YouTube:

    Wish you all a wonderful reading!

  9. I disagree with the labeling and discrimination of others based on their life choices. But I think I might have an idea of why sexual promiscuity is viewed differently for men and women. Men, in all species, are the spreaders of the seed. Their role is to provide the ingredients for life, while contributing to as much reproduction as possible. Women, however, are the nurturers of babies and children. They are meant to provide a safe home and upbringing for the young in the species, not necessarily to have many children. Maybe this has contributed to the way we view men and women regarding sex… promiscuous men are fulfilling their evolutionary role, while promiscuous women are abandoning theirs. With that said, modern life is different for humans. I support anyone who is living on their divine path and following their heart, whatever that may be.

  10. Everyone should be free to decide how to lead his sexual life. If you really need to change your partner every month, just do it, and if you are the person who enjoys having a long relationship with emotional security, then this is also ok. We should only avoid to judge people by their sexual activities 😉

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