I would like to write more about celibacy and how people and especially religions believe that sexual feelings are unnatural. The first 30 years of my life I was living a celibate life. I did not have a relationship, I did not have any girlfriend or wife but I still had sexual feelings. Even when I was not even close to women, there sometime was sexual arousal.
Now religion says that even this feeling is sin. However I did not do anything to get this feeling, so it must be natural. Was I living in Brahmacharya then or not? I do not and did not feel guilty for this because it is just natural.
For me sexual feeling is just innocent. This feeling exists in you since you exist in your body. Of course your body develops with time but all feelings like hunger and thirst and also sexual feelings are there from the beginning. Your physical development takes place gradually and this is how your feelings also develop and grow slowly. And with your body growing, your feelings also get more mature.
When a child is born, sexual feelings are also there, just in another form. Children start sitting and then they start walking and when they grow up, their feelings grow and change in different ways. When you were a teenager, your sexual feelings were there but not yet developed as they are now. And teenagers also want to experience these feelings. When they grow up however, their sexual feelings change and get more mature.
Many people have told me already that they had sexual encounters in their teenage time, when they were 15 or 16. If they compare this experience with their experience of sex ten years later, they enjoyed it more and in a very different way when they were 25. You see, when a child is 5 years old, it also has sexual feelings, just as a teenager of 15 years has them, you cannot deny this. It is just in another form. And if this sexual feeling exists, if it is natural in a 15 year old just as in a 5 year old or 5 months old child, then how can religion say that it is a sin? It is naturally growing and developing.
At the age of 65 or 85 years, you also have sexual feelings, they just changed! Who would say people in their old age don’t have any sexual feelings? Of course they do, it is another shape, another form. The feeling always exists.
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I agree completely. But I didn’t accept this until i was about 22 years old because I grew up very religious and now feel very free. I remember having sexual thoughts even when I was six years old, and I hear many other people say the same thing. Not only is sex considered unnatural, it is also something people try to control or regulate. this is insanity!
Exactly! Thank you for saying this.
This is a great point, Swami. Sexual feelings are present in every physical body, just like thirst, hunger, a need for sleep, temperature control, etc. It is one way that we maintain our natural hormone releases and the health of our tissues and organs. I think many people don’t realize that sexual encounters involve energy exchange. It’s not merely a mental desire that makes you a horny person– sex involves energy just like other processes of metabolism and bodily function. It’s so normal that it is ingrained in the very structure of our cells. People need to stop associating it just with thoughts and feelings…it’s an essential aspect of our physical make-up.
Many religions used to say (and still say) that sex is only there for reproduction and not for pleasure. Many people can’t accept this natural feeling and they consider themselves as sinners because of having sex. But isn’t this also a part of evolution? If mankind wouldn’t enjoy sex, maybe we would be extinct long ago? 😉