If you are Homosexual, do not try to look Heterosexual – 29 May 09


Yesterday I wrote about homosexuality and said that it is individual how people feel about this and in which way they want to express their sexuality. I also do not like religious interference in that. What does this have to do with religion? Everybody should be free to live how they want and to express their sexuality how they want.

But I also said that I do not understand it when someone dresses and tries to be the other gender. If you are dressing and behaving like the other gender you do not respect yourself and your body. You want to change your gender and this means that you do not love your own body and cannot accept yourself how you are.

The truth is that you cannot really change it. Then you are not in your originality but you are playing a role. You are living in an illusion pretending to be who you are not. Maybe this also comes from so-called ‘rules’ of society for example that society does not accept homosexuality in the way that it should. And this is maybe why they try to play the role of woman and man. If society accepted homosexuality as another way of expressing sexuality, everybody would be much more free to express themselves. Then we would also no need operations for changing the gender. And a man can still live in his male energy and a woman can live in her female energy although they have partners of the same gender.

And it is absolutely not any sin if a woman expresses her sexual energy and love towards a woman or if a man expresses his sexual energy towards a man. When they play the role of female and male it seems to me as if they were not really homosexual. They play the role of being heterosexual! If you are homosexual, please don’t be ashamed! Live it and don’t try to make something in between your feelings and old tradition. Feel free to live your sexuality!

This is our last evening together with this nice family. We had a very good time together here. On the weekend we will continue the International Yoga Teacher Training course.

6 Replies to “If you are Homosexual, do not try to look Heterosexual – 29 May 09”

  1. Swani Ji, I offer the deepest respect to your opinion and I like what you have said here. I would also like to talk about transgendered people (those who feel as though they are a man trapped inside of a woman’s body and vise versa) in a different light. In the USA there are many organizations that support transgendered people and many people who hatefully oppose these groups. I have several transgendered friends. I asked one of them several weeks ago why he (he has female anatomy) wanted to undergo top surgery to remove his breasts. He said he felt very much like himself already. He only thought to respect people by getting this surgery. He seemed fine with the idea of having the surgery or not having the surgery. He possessed a deep patience with other people’s intolerance and what he wished for them was to be less confused when they laid eyes on him; To become less agitated. I do not understand this entirely, but I did understand the calm in Freddy’s eyes when he told me this. The only thing I can say if I may even say this is that his action did not seem to do any harm to anyone and that it came from security. No one is alike in certain senses and Freddie does not represent all transgendered people. But I trust Freddie, wholeheartedly.

  2. Swami Ji!Thank you for expressing your views about homosexuality. I agree with what you said and I think it’s really important for people (who have a voice that others want to hear) to express openness and acceptance of taboos that should not be taboo.
    However, I am wondering about the ideas of transexuality expressed?
    Maybe we each believe things that are fundamentally different about being. But you do always say be yourself, and if a woman is born believing that they are are a man aren’t they being themselves by finally becoming one? It is tricky, because a person should also accept their body in order to be whole and happy, and yet because of the strictness in every society regarding gender some one who feels themself to be the opposite gender will never get treated in a way that makes them happy unless their body looks different. It is a dilemma. I guess now that I’m writing the comment out I can see more of where you are coming from and I do not have the answer, which seems like a luxury because I can walk away from the computer without an answer and still live a a happy life but someone who feels that they belong in another body has to answer this question themselves or else they absolutely cannot move forward.
    Imagine, if you can, being exactly the same person you are now but being born in a female’s body. You would never have been allowed to become a guru, which would have never led you to being in the cave or finding the happiness you have now. If, if, if you had been born in a woman’s body, I wonder how you could have resolved the situation. How much would you have been allowed to explore spiritually? What kind of freedoms would be taken from you compared to the ones you have now as a man? I am posing these questions because I am looking for dialogue, not because I don’t think you’ve ever considered them before. I am curious to speak more with you about this if you’d like.
    Is it possible to change your body and still be in a state of acceptance of it. Does changing your body mean that you don’t accept it? I suppose that Is the real question I am going to think about.

  3. I remember reading about a psychological experiment performed around the 3rd quarter of the 20th century that dealt with gender identity. Today it would be considered unethical. A child was born and no one was told the gender of the child…the parents did not know, nor did friends or other relatives. Only doctors knew and they would bath the child and change its diapers. The child was given both gender neutral and gender specific toys to play with and dressed as both a boy and a girl. Once the child was old enough to attend public school the experiment became public. Many parents were appalled and did not want their children to play with this child. The child was sent to a serious of therapists in order to diagnose the “sickness” that this child was bound to have incurred. It was unanimously reported that this child was one of the happiest and healthiest they knew. Correlation does not equal causation of course, nor do I expect this story to necessarily come as a surprise to anyone who may read it. But I thought it was a good one. Thanks!

  4. I must agree with the above comments about transexuality. In the West, it is commonly accepted now that sexual orientation and preference (including preferred gender) are something we are born with. No one would choose a life path that would cause them to be discriminated against and tortured for unless they were deeply called to do it. It would be extremely difficult to be born in a body that you felt was not the gender of your soul. But I believe that transgender people learn to love and appreciate their bodies much more when they dress and feel like the gender within– whether they have surgery or not. I believe in what the soul desires and it is apparent that souls have lots of different ways of expressing sexuality and gender. May everyone be whole and filled with love on their path.

  5. Swami Ji,For all I admire your views – here I think you are talking bunkum – sexuality is variegated world – there are multiple ways in which it expresses itself. as there is not one way to be heterosexual – similarly there is also many ways to be homosexual – as gore vidal (that old bugger) said there are no homosexuals there are homosexual desires – desire is maha thagani (or thagwa) hum jani

  6. Hi Swami ji,
    I generally enjoy and feel encouraged by your views. I welcome you speaking in acceptance of homosexuality.
    Regarding gender, The Native American Navajo indians recognised at least four genders.
    Feminine Women, Masculine Women, Masculine Men, and Feminine Men. Of course in those days they did not have the possibility for surgery but a person was allowed to express their natural gender instincts. Everyone was recognised for their gifts and ability’s and it was not assumed that your genitals made your whole character. There have always been differently gendered people. In native society’s we were sometimes held in high regard as peace-keepers and people with clear expanded vision, helpful in conflict between the sexes etc. In many other country’s there are positive names and recognition for other/differently gendered people. Joe Medicine Crow of the Crow Nation, said “We don’t waste people the way white society does. Every person has their gift.”
    I am a feminine man and have been that way since childhood. I’ve experienced a lot of problems because of people’s fear of my femininity and wanting me to behave more masculine. Even my so-called male body moves in a very feminine way. It is like a big act for me to try to act masculine to fit in so that people will leave me alone and not bully me. Thankfully now i live in a very tolerant city and i can be myself. I have chosen not to have surgery but i understand those who do. I can’t help but wonder though if we had a more wise, sane, understanding, and tolerant view like the Navajo would people feel less compelled to have surgery. Surgery is perhaps its own topic.
    Respectfully and thanks for your time.