Today I would like to tell one story from the scripture Ram Charit Manas. One time Lord Shiva was sitting in his meditation when Kamdev, the God of lust and desire came by. When he saw Shiva meditating he had the idea to tease him and to make him lose his concentration. He used all kind of tricks to distract him but couldn’t manage until a certain point at which Shiva got angry.
Anger is so strong, lust could not make him lose concentration but anger did. Shiva opened his third eye. It is written that his third eye had the power to destroy the whole world. When he opened his third eye, the God of lust and desire went up in flames and all that was rest of him was some ash on the floor.
When she got to know this, Kamdev’s wife Rati came to Shiva. She, the Goddess of attachment, cried and prayed to Shiva. Shiva has a soft heart and when he saw her grief he said: His body is gone and cannot be brought back but I give you my word that he will be present with everyone without his body. Everyone will feel him. Rati replied that for her, as Kamdev’s wife, this was not enough. She needed the body, too. So Shiva gave her another blessing. He promised her that he would be reborn very soon and that she would be married to him then. The scripture continues and Shiva himself, gets ready to get married.
What do I want to say with this excerpt from the scripture? You see, Shiva said that lust and desire will always be with each of us. Only if someone is a great Yogi like Shiva, he can maybe concentrate his power and put an end to lust and desire. But even if he manages this, there is still attachment, the wife of desire. She will try to reincarnate lust and she will succeed. Desire and lust never finishes. Maybe you can defeat it once but attachment will reproduce desire. And what happens when it is back? Shiva gets married and accepts lust and desire in his life. It is a part of everyone and we need to accept it. We can control it though. When people normally look for a relationship, they have a desire or lust. Yogis however start a relationship when lust and desire are in their control. It is good to accept it in a healthy way and not to refuse it. It is the right time to start a relationship when you are not directed by lust and desire.
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“It is the right time to start a relationship when you are not directed by lust and desire.”This is key.
Too often lust and desire throw off the balance of a relationship and then it ends horribly.
I like this story a lot. It has many different levels of meaning. And I agree that lust and desire are inevitable, but it is best when we control them and experience them through attachment. Thanks for the story, Swami!
I think that lust and desire are two things that I can never really understand. Maybe it’s because I have never really experienced them in my life…of course I feel desire but it’s always for something like time, or for friendship or a relationship, but not in the way that when I am in a relationship I feel desire…but I think that I agree with you in that they are meant to be natural and healthy but also to remember that you should control them, they should not control you.