Can we have Sex in your Ashram? – 8 Feb 16


We get inquiries for stays at the Ashram every day. While we reply all of them, there are some where we already know they probably won’t come, others about whom we believe they would very much like it here and some where we know their expectations don’t fit our place and we tell them better not to come. This all by the description of what they would like to do while they are in India. Today we received an email in which the author did not actually explain much about which kind of classes or retreat she and her partner would like to take. She spent pretty much the whole email explaining that she intended to have sex at our Ashram!

Yes, that was the main gist of the email – but not at all in a way that sounded ‘dirty’! No, she very politely told that she was going to be travelling with her partner and asked whether they could share a room. If they were not allowed to share a room in night, would they be allowed to meet in each other’s rooms during daytime? Or would they not be allowed to talk to each other at all due to their different genders?

She very politely went on to explain that sexual abstinence was out of question for both of them – but if that would break any rules or would be impossible from our side, they would accept and try their best to stick to it.

Oh yes, of course it is funny to read these lines – but you know what? From her point of view it makes complete sense to ask like this because this is what happens in spiritual places and a lot of Ashrams: sex is made a complete taboo, is portrayed as something dirty, sinful and evil and is generally forbidden! In many Ashrams, men and women cannot have rooms together even if they are married. And there are even places where they separate men and women completely, not letting them even talk to each other!

So in order to avoid any kind of unpleasant surprises, it is a good idea to ask and clarify beforehand! After all, it nowhere says on our website that you are allowed to have sex with your husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend. We may think of putting that up though.

For today however, it is enough to answer this lady by email that we will be happy to welcome her and her partner at our Ashram, that they can of course have a room together and that we are absolutely free of any such rules. We will write them that they can feel free to just be themselves and that we don’t make a taboo out of a very natural urge and an act full of love!

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