In my lecture about ‘Sex and Freedom’, there was one more question which I found interesting for telling you about. The questioner wanted to know my opinion about the situation when sex becomes unhealthy, when it becomes an addiction.
I actually had to object to the wording of this. In my definition, sex cannot be an addiction. We are talking about feelings and love – what can be the addiction there? If you ask me, whether I am addicted to love, I have to confess that yes, I am. If you ask me whether I am addicted to sex, I would not be able to reply properly – what is the parameter for getting addicted?
There are definitely different parameters for different people – some do it once a week, some seven times a week, some maybe seven times a day! When is it an addiction? Where do you draw the line?
I actually believe that it is not real sex that becomes the addiction. When sex comes to the mind, it can become an addiction. Sex is not a matter of the mind. It is a matter of your heart and your body. It is normal however that the mind gets affected to a certain point because your mind is never separate from your body and feelings. When you bring sex into the mind too much however, I believe that you can get obsessed with it. Porn can thus be an addiction – not sex.
Now if you come to the question of prostitution, I believe that is a fully different matter. I don’t think it is a sex addiction if a man goes to a prostitute for sex. Men want something else when they go and pay for having sex. Don’t get me wrong – I don’t want to say that a man goes to a prostitute to get love because he wants to have the feeling of being loved. No, I actually think that men go there to give love and money, too. Another need – but it is not actually that much about sex.
Of course, there are cases of mental illness when sex is called an addiction – but I would then not call that sex anymore! It is something that has to do with the mind, less with the body and not with the heart.
You can have another opinion, you can think something completely different but I think on one point you will definitely agree with me: once one has experienced the true love, sensation and joy of good sex, you would love to do it again and again!
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