I yesterday told you about an email we received asking whether the author could stay with her partner in one room. While we believe this should not even be a question, it unfortunately is for many spiritual places and Ashrams. They make sex into something dirty that should not happen on their premises and which should be controlled. The effect however is quite clear: people do it in hidden!
I knew a man from Germany who ran a yoga center there. I had met him in Germany and had even given program in his center. When he travelled to India together with his girlfriend, he also came to our Ashram and of course they stayed together. During the days they were here, we had some conversations about this strange rule, too, because his girlfriend had just been to such an Ashram!
She had completed a four-week yoga teacher training at an Ashram of a yoga guru. In that Ashram, men and women were strictly separated and it was not allowed, even for married couples, to sleep in one room. That’s how obviously, when her boyfriend came to visit about two weeks into the training, they could not meet at the Ashram! He had one room, she another and it was not allowed for them to visit each other’s rooms!
In the end, he sneaked into her room on his last night there and they met for a physical reunion and a goodbye in bed. He had not wanted to leave without having even kissed his girlfriend! He told me he was sorry about breaking the rule but still felt it had been necessary and good for them to feel each other. They both knew that they would not ever return to that place.
So the only thing that Ashram succeeded to do by putting up that rule was to create resentment in the hearts of two loving people! They did not keep them apart, did not stop them from having sex. They may only have succeeded to create some more excitement for doing something forbidden – but in the end, I don’t think this couple would feel that sex is dirty on the long run!
Unfortunately there will be some people with whom they will succeed. Who will see sex and the touch of a loving person as something dirty. And that is wrong!
The big joke about that woman’s guru however was that he was only celibate in front of the public! I knew the man and I was not the only one who exactly knew that he also had a girlfriend! He had been in a relationship for many years but publicly kept on pretending to live in celibacy. Having sex is not something that those gurus refrain from but they like controlling it and thus keep this rule up for their disciples and students!
My suggestion is not to visit any place that has such rules. You will just put yourself into an environment of suppression of natural feelings. And mostly, it is hypocrites that create those rules and enforce them!