Can we have Sex? A simple Question that could make two People happy – 30 Dec 13


A lot of people ask me for advice, most often for their personal life and many times about problems that they may not share with everyone. One of the issues which are often discussed – naturally, as it is very important – is sex. After several similar inquiries that all had the same basic problem, the natural human need for sexual intimacy, I came to a conclusion: It should be sociably acceptable to ask the other person ‘Can we have sex?’

Yes, I think this should be a normal question, just like asking ‘I am hungry, can I have something to eat?’ Or ‘I am thirsty, could you give me some water?’ I think that sexual satisfaction is a very important factor of people’s lives which contributes immensely to their well-being and happiness. Accordingly, if we could just be open enough about this topic to ask the other one for it, we could increase the level of happiness of people around the globe!

Just imagine how it would be today, in this world, if you went out and asked a friend who is single, like you, and searching for a partner, like you, whether you could have sex. Imagine going even further and asking a stranger! Not only in a country like India, where sexuality is often suppressed and discussing it is still a big taboo, this would be an outrageous question! Even in the west the other person would be amused, at best, and angry and upset at worst. I guess you might even get arrested for sexual harassment if someone took offence!

Why has sexuality become such a topic that you cannot even talk about your needs? Shouldn’t society be open enough for people to talk about the things that really make them upset? And the simple lack of sexual intimacy, missing this closest connection to another human can really make people unhappy! Even if you know that there won’t be the emotional closeness that you are wishing for on long-term and with a steady partner, a one-night-stand, a one-time experience with another human being who is looking for the same can fill a part of this void! So why can’t we use this way to make each other happy?

In fact, in many countries people do exactly that – they just don’t necessarily say it loud. They go into a nightclub with the aim of finding someone who also wants to have sex. They go home to one of the two and have sex without any commitment to a future relationship, even without knowing more of the other person than his or her name. It is silently accepted but nobody talks about it. It is accepted without being really accepted. Some people consider it cheap, something you should not be doing. Striving for higher moral values, you should rather make yourself unhappy by suppressing your sexual needs and waiting for your big romance to begin. Still, however, many people go to discos for exactly this purpose.

If it makes you and the other one happy, why not? Open up, societies around the world and finally accept sexuality as something natural!

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