In the past two days, I explained you two reasons why open relationships often don't work. Behind both scenarios which I explained, there is one basic reason for failure: people see sex as a technique, an action which is entertainment from which you get a certain thrill – and they forget about love!
There are a lot of people who are fascinated by the idea of open relationships and when they try it, they have lots of sex with lots of different people. They change their partners sometimes so frequently that they don't even remember whom they slept with! The feeling is missing. Then sex is only physical, a ritual to go through, there is no love anymore!
After a while, they start missing something. They realise that they don't have something they were once looking for: the deeper meaning in a connection. The possibility to connect on a level that goes so far deeper than just physical touch can! They miss love.
It cannot be! If sex is only a ritual for you to go through, when it doesn't matter much with whom or even if you select your partners but you change them frequently, you cannot bond in the same way that you bond in a one-on-one relationship. And you cannot share the same feeling that you originally had with that one partner with whom you started this original experiment with each of your sexual partners.
You can share sex, physical contact and a ritual but you cannot share the same affection, feeling and love. Love is the adhesive which keeps you and your partner together. People often think sex is the glue – but in reality it is love.
Sex is important, too, I think! Oh yes, it can intensify so much in a relationship and plays an important role in bringing two human beings really close to each other. But only if there is another connection than just the physical one. You can have an amazing night with someone and even regular sexual experiences which satisfy every physical need you have and still feel like there is missing something.
This something is love. And in my opinion it is impossible to share this deep love and bond with any other person but one!