Yesterday I wrote that people who feel that they are being judged upon start judging others. In schools you can see that children and teenagers make certain groups, according to interests. There are some who like to do sports and others who prefer sciences and like to spend their time reading. And the people of these groups often dislike each other. Decisions are made in the group and according to what the group thinks.
This is very normal and you can see this tendency not only in children or teenagers. When they grow up and choose a profession, there is a group of people with the same profession. Then there are groups according to what they like to do in their free time. People want to belong somewhere. When they are in a group they have a feeling of security. If it is a group of friends or a community, a group of people gives security. Spiritual people are a group on its own and like in every group there is always competition and jealousy. When a person’s interest and path changes, the person also changes groups.
We make these groups but actually everybody has to walk his own way. A famous poet, Tagore, wrote a very famous poem about it which is called ‘Ekala Chalo Re’ which means ‘Walk Alone’. Everybody comes to this world alone and leaves again alone.
In India we also have the saying that Sadhus, spiritual persons, don’t make groups. They take their own responsibility without relying on others or thinking about other people’s judgment. This is why I am not interested in any group and do not find myself belonging to any group and don’t want to make any group.
Today Roger and Mady dropped us in Erkelenz and said goodbye to us with eyes full of tears. But we will see them again in three weeks as they are coming to India with us. The week in Erkelenz started with a Darshan this evening. Before that we ate a great dinner which Carolin had cooked for us. I am so impressed by her cooking skills. She is only eleven years old and even though I know that she always watched me cooking when I was here I am amazed that this German girl prepared a full Ayurvedic dinner on her own. And it was very tasty!
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there are groups for everything and a label for each individual and group. I think categorizing comes so naturally to humans, it is how we feel like we have control over our surroundings. It makes us feel like we know or understand and make everything fit. Putting a name or a word on anything makes it more palatable. But there is a danger in missing out on understanding and never having to seek if we constantly put ourselves under the umbrella of a group or a label. Sometimes I stare at people or objects and I don’t name them, I just watch. Instead of saying “this is a blade of grass and it is green” I just see. Instead of saying “this is my friend Adam who I have known for 20 years,” i just observe.
But the labels are safer. To be in a group is safer. But understanding is missed.
Swami Ji,I usually read your diary with a great interest. I think about your entries in the mornings and sometimes I just read them to feel relaxed and grounded. What is funny to me is that sometimes what I read doesn’t really hit me until a week or so later. Suddenly I will remember something you wrote and feel as though I understand it and it is very helpful to me. I love this feeling! And it always makes me laugh.
It can be very comforting to belong to a group and trust that you fit in somewhere. You tend to adopt the behaviors and attitudes of the group because it keeps everything cohesive and the same. But sometimes, we realize that the group is no longer suiting to us. We have changed and need to change our group identity– and this can be very challenging! It’s hard to leave a group who has provided you with security, identity, and love. But it is our path to be who we are…not who our group is. I think it is these times when family matters the most. Family will accept you no matter how you’ve changed. Family is a group you will always belong to.