Maintain your Self-Esteem, even if it is difficult! – 4 Sep 14

Yesterday I mentioned that you need self-love and self-esteem in order to successfully run a business. Then you can work with heart while not feeling guilty about charging money for your every day’s work. Self-esteem. A difficult topic for many and at the same time so important! Just take care to keep it up – or there may always be someone who tries to take advantage of you!

We already discussed how this happens in business. People try to get something for free and if you are nice enough, they succeed. After a while, you cannot go back and you are giving away far too much for free, leaving you annoyed and helpless, unsure about your prices and the value of what you are selling.

Among family and friends, it is not about money. Or at least usually not. It is normally about what you do for others and how much you do for yourself. I often meet people with a lack of self-love and self-esteem in my individual counselling sessions because they have so much suppressed anger and often trouble with family members or certain friends. They give and give and somehow feel as though it is taken for granted. They have the feeling of being sucked out until the last drop – and they don’t get anything back.

Self-love is the first step. It is when you give value to yourself, when you respect what you are doing. You love your body, mind and actions with all virtues and faults. You need something more though: the ability to express that! And this ability is your self-esteem that you show to others.

When you can tell, with full confidence, where the limits are of what you can do for others. When you know and tell them at which point you need to have time for yourself or feel that they are not valuing your work enough.

It is not easy to reach this far if you have difficulties with this topic but you surely can. You need to strengthen your love for yourself. Whenever you get the feeling that someone is taking advantage of you, when you feel pressured into doing more of doing it cheaper than you want to, take your time. Take a step back from what you are doing, excuse yourself for some moments and calm down. If your emotions are high, you cannot think and feel clear.

Once calmed down, you have to analyze if those feeling arose because you feel urged to cross your limits, to do something that is further than what you are comfortable with. If this is the case, get to that point where you feel comfortable. Remind yourself that you are worth standing up for yourself. And then go back into the situation.

Remain calm but on a point where you feel comfortable. You will see, after you have done this once, you will feel really great! Even if it was just telling your mother-in-law that you cannot bake an extra cake for the family meeting because you are busy with your children, your work and the two dishes you are already cooking! It is a small victory for yourself, for your self-esteem!

Keep it up – be strong and love yourself!

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