Yesterday we wrote the diary a bit earlier than usually because we had a chakra dance party in the evening. Up to the third chakra I was dancing with everybody and it was nice.
When we started for the fourth chakra I explained a little bit as usual and talked about the fourth chakra which is connected with our feelings, love and emotions. In that time I also remembered and said also, that the 18th September three years ago was the saddest day of my life. I never experienced this sadness before or after. I lost my sister on the 18th September 2006 in a car accident. She was younger than me, 29 years old. She is always with me, in my spirit and in my heart. I feel her always.
And I was aware of it before, too, when we decided to do the chakra dance party on the 18th September. On the same day I was also talking with Yashendu and Ramona about this and I thought and said I would like to dissolve my sadness in the music and in the dance. But I didn’t succeed in this. In the middle of the dance party, when I started missing her and her face came in front of my eyes and I talked about her, it was difficult for me to dance and I needed to sit down.
I apologized to all people and said that it is my personal stuff. I always say about dancing that it is an expression of happiness. When you are happy, your body moves without any effort. And I always say that nobody can dance when he is sad. It was an experiment and it didn’t succeed. So I think I will take care in future that we don’t put this kind of program on this day in future and I can just simply accept that I am sad on the day we lost her. I am sad, and that is fine.