I have been writing about children and teenagers and about the responsibility of parents in raising their children. Every parent has the wish to do it right. Of course there is always the question what the right way actually is. Everyone gives his children those values and ideas of life that he himself is convinced in. Religion is naturally a part of those values and of how parents see life. Do we thus force our children into a certain religion?
As I am not in favour of any religion, I would say the ideal scenario of growing up could look like this: a child grows up to loving parents who don’t teach any certain religion but inform the child of all different possibilities that he or she could believe in. When the child is adult and mature, he or she can then decide which religion is the most attractive. In this way a child could have free choice whether he would like to be a Hindu, Christian, Muslim, Jew, Buddhist or anything else. There would not be any question of converting from one religion to another, because the child has been informed before and made the decision himself. If the young man or woman decides not to join any religion, there would be no need to officially leave any religious institution.
We all know however that this is not a realistic picture and that belief systems don’t work like that. Every child is born into something and parents install their own faith in their children already in childhood. You cannot separate that and whatever you believe and have found to be good and suitable for you, is naturally in your opinion also suitable for your child.
Even if the parents are atheists, they teach their child that there is no God, that religion is nothing that they need and that there is no need in life to rely on the community, rules or help of any religion. Someone who grew up with these teachings will only rarely go and choose a religion for himself once he is grown up. Why? His parents taught him to see life in another way, even if they were tolerant towards religious groups.
If a child grows up with religious parents, he or she gets the influence of that religion. They go to temple, church, mosque or synagogue with the child. They read their scriptures and explain them to their offspring and many religious groups even have special classes for children to learn about the religion. It is just very normal that a child gets influence in questions of belief. Even if your parents are not very religious and not active in their religious community, if you live in a place where the religion of your parents is the mainstream religion, you will get the influence of that religion. Your mentality develops in that way and the religions plant seeds in that time already.
Some people don’t think much about the religion they grew up with but simply accept it as it is. They don’t have a very strong belief but they do the basic religious activities required. They spend their life with this belief and often it is not really important for them. Others take more interest and strongly engage in religion. And others also take interest but decide that they don’t agree and convert to another religion or leave religion altogether.
Hinduism actually says that you cannot be a Hindu if you were not born a Hindu, to Hindu parents. There is no possibility to convert into Hinduism and theoretically also no way to leave it. I don’t like this idea because you don’t have a choice. Muslims and Christians on the contrary try to convert as many people as possible to their belief. The work of missionaries is only this: convince people of your religion. And once they are of that religion, their children will automatically belong to that religion, too. It reminds me of the caste system a bit, a categorization of people into different classes. You are born into a religion, like into a caste, and if your parents don’t give you a choice, you are stuck with it. So on one hand everybody talks about the caste system as an inhumane way of categorizing people but then everyone joins happily the categorization of people into different religious groups.
In my opinion, whatever your belief is, you should give your child as much freedom as possible to decide on his own. If you follow a religion, it is okay, but let your child decide, once it has the maturity to decide neutrally, whether it would like to be a part of that religion or not. If you force a child into one belief, you don’t give its mind the possibility to develop in its own way.
Of course religion provides an idea of certain values and also a community where those values should be prevalent. The truth is however that if you have a functioning family or a circle of friends, a community of loving people around you, you have the support that you need to raise your child with the values that you want. You don’t need religion for that. Leave your child free to decide himself or herself.
Related posts
Is your imaginary God happy when Millions of innocent Animals get killed? – 13 Sep 16
Religion is the Root of Terrorism – 11 Sep 16
The corrupt System of Religion – when Money can get you closer to God! – 10 Sep 16
Ganesha on Cigarettes is fine but on Shoes? Oh no! – 8 Sep 16
Religions praise Suffering for suppressing and exploiting People further – 5 Sep 16
Why it is so funny that Mother Teresa becomes a Saint today – 4 Sep 16
Choosing in between feeding hungry Children and Monkeys – 23 Aug 16
You cannot exclude Religion when speaking about Terrorism – 26 Jul 16
Your Life, your Decisions – don’t let Religion tell you what to do! – 17 Sep 15
It doesn’t matter whether that is language, culture or religion. When children grow up, they imitate what their parents do and they learn from them. And of course, religious people will teach religion to their children. this is also why it is so important for everyone to remain open themselves towards other things so that their children can be open, too.
You should always have the possibility to make your own choice. If your parents made you join the Catholic Church, you have the choice to leave it once you decide you don’t want to be a part of it. You need to cope with the consequences though. Your surrounding may not be very appreciative of your change of mind. If you live in a conservative little town as I grew up in, this is a topic that everybody will talk about. In the end however, modern times are tolerant and people just cannot hate everybody of different faith. It is just unrealistic. So go for it and follow what your heart tells you!
Dear Tina,Yes, I agree. Parents need to be open and set an example because children will follow them in whatever they do until they are old enough to decide for themselves.
Much love
Dear Paula,Thank you for your words and comment. I am happy to read from you and would love to read more often.
Yes, public opinion is also important for many people and often the reason for them to go to church or temple at all. Not so much the belief but the reputation 🙂
Have a strong will and do what your heart says, that’s right.
Much love