When belief systems don't match, a lot more may not fit either

I believe in freedom and tolerance. I think that everyone should be free to believe in whatever he or she wants. I even thought that it doesn’t matter among friends if you have different belief. I even still want to believe this but at the same time, I know by experience that it does make a difference. It may not sound nice but it is the truth. Let me explain this to you.

You probably know that I myself have changed a lot, from being very religious to being an atheist. Obviously, this meant that over time I had friends who believed something completely different than I did. People whose belief system, faith and religious views I did not approve of. I once thought it was okay and that I had nothing to do with that. There are so many other things in life that we could share, religion is not the only thing in life!

I noticed however that it didn’t really work in this way. If you have changed a lot and other people have not, it gets difficult. Your belief system affects your thinking process a lot and the same is true for your friends. They think according to their belief. Of course their thinking forms their attitude and they behave accordingly. Their belief is thus reflected in their actions, their talk and in every part of their life.

Practically speaking it means that your political thinking doesn’t match, that your social activities are completely different, that you live in completely different environment and that you react to different situations in completely different way. If you have any expectations on each other – which is normal in a friendship – they don’t get fulfilled because the other one doesn’t act in the same way anymore. There is no give and take as usual when being with each other because you don’t want to have what they want to give and vice versa! When talking, you don’t even like the attitude of the other one anymore!

This shows how much these different areas of life are related to each other! I am sure this is not only my observation. Look into your heart and then see your surroundings – don’t you notice the same with people who think in another way than you? They may be friends, as it is for me, they can be close to your heart, as they have always been to me. But what to do with my love when I see clearly that our ways go apart? We don’t walk parallel to each other. We don’t even go apart slowly, we walk in opposite directions!

These differences appeared because my belief system changed and theirs didn’t. Or it changed in another way. Then again, one cannot expect the people around you to change along with you!

Everybody thinks his or her way is right. That is why we all go the way we are going. But for me one thing is clear: if our religious views don’t match, there are many other aspects that don’t match either and it may not be much fun to be together, even if you love each other. That is a thought that I will discuss further tomorrow.