Of course I hear many stories about relationships and love, about how it works for people and how it doesn’t work for others. And then of course it is not only the couple which is involved, there is always the people around, too. This can be friends, parents, siblings and others. And in many stories they appear and most often with more or less helpful advice.
Why do people of the surroundings give advice? Because they love you and care for you. Yes, generally this is of course right and they mostly do mean the best for you but that doesn’t mean that it is also the best thing for you to do! Did you hear advice after a separation to just forget the guy or girl, not to call, not to answer any mail and if you meet him or her just pretend like you never met?
This is just one example for advice that you should definitely think about before you do it. It is connected with what I said yesterday: maybe you are sad because you still love the other one and he or she doesn’t want to be with you but you still have to love your love! Don’t be angry with yourself for this feeling and don’t switch into hate because of this advice. It is okay to follow your heart.
Of course, it is different from situation to situation but if your heart is saying to love, don’t ignore it. This doesn’t mean that you have to be a couple again but you also don’t need to hate each other or ignore each other. It is always possible to have a friendly relation if two people respect each other. Maybe you need to accept the separation and that is what your friends actually mean with this advice. But do it in a way that you still love yourself and your feelings!
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I have heard people say you should forget about the person who broke your heart, but really you can’t! you will always love that person, even if you convince yourself to hate them, hate is just love that has been made angry. you will never forget, that’s silly. Just let them go. If you let them go, you will see that you love them still and that it is okay. Given time it will be fine, don’t let it cripple your ability to love.
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Separation is hard! It is confusing and seems unnatural.
You have to love! You have to!
Ahh, this is very beautifully stated, Swami. Many people think that they can switch off their pain after a break-up by just forgetting and moving on. But this is how we end up burying our emotions deep inside, causing trauma to our bodies and psyches. We cannot deny our feelings, even if we wish we didn’t have them. You have to “love your love” and “follow your heart,” still… great statements, Swami! Never feel bad about yourself for feelings that you have. Love your pain and love alike.
Can we decide or choose whom to love? Or how this love or relationship will develope? Emotions are like the wheater, you never know what is coming next. Just let it flow and let your feelings be your leader 😉