Reactions – Denial and Guilt – 7 May 10

Relationships

I have been writing a lot about people who cheat and others who were cheated upon. Affairs, betrayal and cheating against being loyal, faithful and true to the partner. You can imagine how the answers approximately looked like.

Those who were betrayed said something like ‘It is great to read your lines. I felt my own story because I have heard all the excuses that you wrote about. I hope that nobody ever suffers in the way that I did.’

Naturally for those who cheated, the diary was a bit difficult to read in the last times. They might be angry about me writing this way but they know themselves that what I said is true, it is not the right thing to do because it hurts others. This is how someone wrote to me, telling that he has done half of the things that I wrote about and he felt very guilty about it. I also got some response with more excuses and explanations why they had done it. However also in these lines you could read and feel their guilt.

I believe if you did a mistake, the first part is already that you realize it and then accept it. You should not try to find an excuse then, but you should turn around and walk the other way. You do not need to defend yourself or justify your cheating. Just simply, honestly, you can accept that you made a mistake and for future commit to live an honest life which doesn’t cause pain for others and later for yourself.

My love is same for cheaters and cheated. I will send my love to all, those for whom I wish to get on the right path and for the others whom I wish healing for their pain.
So today we travelled to Copenhagen and arrived well at our friend Otto’s flat. We had a wonderful time last year and I already know that it will be great this year, too.
 

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  1. Robert Sams

    There is so much more writing about those who have been cheated on rather than those who have cheated.I was a cheater once, and I think I know the reason- the ones who were cheated on are the ones who are in pain. for cheaters, it takes a lot to change your ways because it doesn’t hurt to cheat, not immediately anyway.
    I can say though, that in the end you may find yourself more alone through cheating.

    Regretful.

  2. Sarah

    Thank you for sharing that.I have a lot to think about.

  3. Emily

    I think perhaps the cheater experiences more pain than the cheated when they bring all their emotions to the surface. Though the cheated may feel rejection and pain in the beginning, they can at least move on knowing that they have integrity and honesty as a person. But the cheater must deal with their guilt and shame as a hurtful person, and this can be carried with them for a long time. Forgiving yourself is often the hardest task.
    But it is beautiful, Swami, that you send equal love to those who are cheaters as those who are cheated. For we all make mistakes, and we all need love.

  4. Laura

    It just shows that however you feel at the time, you will always eventually feel guilty for cheating. This is because you have upset people, and although it seems like a good idea, it is rarely a solution.

  5. Alice

    Acceptance is always the first step of recovering. Once you admit that what you have done is wrong and hurt people then you can start to move on. You may feel great at the time but it will not last!

  6. Tricia

    I agree while the cheating is wrong definitely wrong, but it doesn’t help to not forgive yourself, to move on and try to become a better person who has learned from their mistakes in the past. Otherwise you are brought down and nobody benefits at all from a lesson that can be learned. I think forgiveness should come from both sides in a situation.

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