Yesterday I wrote that you need time for each other to make your relationship work. This is definitely one of the main points for a successful relationship. Another key factor is trust. Also here, people have a lot of problems.
It is normal that you want to live in a good lifestyle and at a good standard. For that you want to earn money and maybe you have some more ambitions. This all is fine but what happens often in western relationships is that people then want to have their own, their individual security. They share everything, their food, their bed, their love and their life. But sharing their pocket seems more difficult than anything else.
What is this, do you really not trust your partner? Many will shout out ‘No, of course I trust him!’ in the first moment and then add quietly ‘but I still want to have my own money!’ If you go deeper, and you ask further, you will get to know that they feel they need an individual security. It is not enough to have a savings account together, there has to be money that is precisely mine. These are feelings of insecurity which can in some cases go very deep.
How much however do you really need to survive? If you think of a lot, then there is no end to it. If there are many things that you want and that you believe you need, you will never really be satisfied, no matter how much money you have on your own account. It will never be enough to make you really feel secure. Even if you have a whole house for yourself, you won’t have peace of mind.
If you are honest, you don’t really need that much. Some clothes, some bread and a roof over the head. The most important thing however is love. If there is someone around you who loves you and whom you love, there is not that much more that you need. Trust the one you love and you will feel warm, comfortable and safe just with that one person. No pocket, no coins or notes. Love. This is what gives the most beautiful feeling of security!
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Basing a relationship on trust is great if one happens to find someone compatible who is trustworthy.
Absolutely hit the point …. that’s how it is, that is what I could not understood because I grow up in a Family who shared everything and I mean everything also the poked …. there was never a statement like this is my own… the family was understood as ONE, that was the own. Much later I came across this what you was talking about and it did hurt a lot!For me I cant accept this kind of relationship … a partner who think like this I can’t life with … to me LOVE is everything and no money can buy it :)) Happy are the once whose heart are open to receive Love :))))
LOVE to ALL 😀
I do totaly agree! The above mentioned behaviour must be a kind of modern one, or it came out of rich circles. I also crow up in a familiy where everything had been shared. Of course both of my parents had some things for there own, but they wouldn`t have had hasitated to put it in for the familiy if needed.Indeed! 🙂
Love
Armin
Oh,Its a really nice photo!!!
I like it very much!
Love to all…
Merry Christmas 😀
you really shouldn’t trust your partner I feel, and your partner shouldn’t put that much trust in you. Not in the West, that’s not how things work. In fact there is exceedingly more trust when you remain separate.
No no harry, there shouldn’t be anything in life you have to guard that heavily, otherwise you are locking yourself away from a whole world of love. what’s the worst that could happen? That you lose some money, that you feel stuck or down? But what if you hold on to all the possessions you can get your hands on and then spend your life without happiness or love?
When you let money go, or any other emotional or mental attachment to security something happens to you. And it is something magnificent. You don’t have to have nothing to realize this. Just let it go in your mind.
That is the thing Swami Ji.Nothing outside of you will satisfy you. When you speak about needing love you are speaking about a firm sense of wholeness that will allow everything outside of you to come and go agreeably.
My father remarried in his 50s and he and his wife signed a prenuptial agreement. I think he feared the ugly arguing over money and possessions that occurred during his first divorce. I keep thinking that it must feel very strange to them to do this…for there to be a concept or idea (about ownership) that perpetually divides them. But somehow they right it off as healthy.
When I first met my husband my mother gave me some advise: “Building a relationship is like building a fire. You must be close enough to help each other grow, but never to close or you’ll put out the flame.” I misinterpreted this to mean that I should keep some physical and emotional (even financial) distance from Dan. But now I understand that she was talking about solitude in the sense of personal power or completeness. Really, it is the absence of fear and presence of trust and unconditional love for your partner. Physical, emotional, financial sharing only allows that to grow in me.
18No, of course I trust him! 19 in the first moment and then add quietly 18but I still want to have my own money! 19. This is me, exactly.
Someone told me once that there is no difference between spending his own money and his father’s money or vice versa. I really enjoy that idea. And on an intellectual level it makes more sense to me than other things. But when it comes down to my own feelings I want to feel free to make my own decisions and I just don’t feel that way when I don’t have “my own” money. It doesn’t matter why I don’t feel free and I think it is possible to overcome this.
This specific example sounds more like the individual has issues with money rather than just trust in the relationship. If they can trust the other person with their belongings, their love, their emotional security, their faithfulness, then why not with money? Other people, however, may have trust issues all together and can’t stand to let their partner go places alone, talk with the opposite sex, etc. Whether with money or in general, trust is very important in the relationship. I hope people can find ways to heal their trust so that they are open to close relationships.