Yesterday I told about a friend who was shocked when her boyfriend left her. I was asking her on phone why the spark has gone. I said to her that there would be a reason, maybe there is someone in whom he saw a new spark. And this is why he is saying that the spark has gone from their relationship. She replied that she did not know if there was someone else. But today she wrote me ‘Yes Swami Ji, you were right.’
She got to know that there was somebody. But for me the question is, how can a spark go when you see a new spark? And how long will the new spark stay? What is the guarantee that there will not be another new spark? And then for the whole life they want to experience only sparkling? How can they enjoy deep love if they are just in sparks all the time? For me love is not a spark, it is the light which shows you the way. A spark is a spark, only for a moment and when it is gone you are in darkness. Love is the light.
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I dont know how I feel about the idea of of not leaving because you lost a spark, I mean life is short and you shouldn’t try to force anything. Why can’t you love a lot of different people romantically in a life time. I don’t think that is necessarily out of balance.
I think it is easy to imagine that switching lovers at the moment of boredom is alright. But it is hard to imagine it being alright if you are the one who is switched on. being replaced can be extremely damaging. Maybe you aren’t the kind of person who would stay around long enough to get switched on, but think about 20 years down the line when you just aren’t pretty anymore, and you don’t have a lot of energy, and you’ve left a trail of hurt people behind you. What kind of a situation will that be?
I totally agree with you, Swami. Sparks are fun for a moment, but they aren’t what carry the relationship along. People who only want a relationship for the sparks are viewing it immaturely. They aren’t ready for a deep, loving relationship that requires commitment, growth and pure love. The truth is, good relationships are challenging! We learn about ourselves and life within them. So it’s not just about sparks, fun, play, and the feeling of butterflies. Mature relationships are guided by spiritual love.