Yesterday I was speaking about separation and in this kind of situation a couple always has many things to take care of. The longer the relationship was, the more difficult it is to separate, the people, the feelings, the belongings, maybe a common flat or house and of course the bank accounts. And if the couple have a child together they need to be even more sensitive. They both need to take responsibility for the innocent heart of the child.
You should not give a child any bitterness about the other one. Don’t plant a seed of poison in the mind and heart of the young one. Let the child build a healthy relation with their mother and father, with both! For that it is necessary to forgive and not to be angry. Anger is the name of the poison that you should not feed to your child! Why would you do that? If you choose the separation, why do you choose anger?
Most of the time I think the reason is ego. Ego is very powerful but it will not bring you anywhere. You know you are doing wrong but still ego keeps on thriving you on and on and keeps you from accepting your mistake. But then you suffer too much! I already wrote about this and want to bring it also into the context of this situation. You chose that separation is better, don’t have the ego that you are the better one, that the other one is wrong or did wrong. Your child doesn’t need to hear any of this forth and back, otherwise the young one’s heart will get torn apart. Does the small one really have to decide between the two people whom he both loves more than anything? No, please take care of this: whatever was there and whatever happened, be in the moment, go on and let your child develop its own opinion, relationship and life!