When somebody wants to make a relation, he looks for some specific qualities. He is looking for compatibility and that is according to his background, where and in which way he grew up. In India people see from what caste he or she comes because the caste system still plays a role. In the western world you can maybe say that people look for high society or low society, for intelligence or qualifications in education. People look to have the same interests and hobbies. Nowadays the physical aspect is very much emphasized, too. They look for someone and look at the figure, the hair, the skin maybe. We have put up many conditions in the process of trying to make a relation. It is like going shopping for clothes or a car. What will look good, what will fit?
That is how you often hear that a relation fails. It happens very quickly that it doesn’t fit anymore. The world is moving fast, our mind is moving fast and things are changing quickly. The same thing and the same person with which and whom you were very happy at a time, is not interesting anymore after some time. After six months it changed and you do not like the way of relation anymore. This change happened in the interests, in the qualities, in the mind.
The failure is logical: the relation had a wrong foundation. So many things were going on in the mind and it was not the flow of love that made the relation but our wishes, expectations and imagination. And the disappointment will come and the illusion will go. People make so much effort, they date and meet and try to get to know each other. Get to know interests and hobbies. We should let our feelings flow freely. Love and relationships are not any kind of business in which we make a contract with certain conditions. Do not decide before that strictly how the person should look like and talk like. Let your feelings flow, then if something grows, it will be strong and can last a whole lifetime.
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I think sometimes looking for these things can work. There is a wide world full of people who are easily assessable, you can even enter in hobbies and expectation into a computer and sometimes meet someone to form a lasting relationship with comes up. It’s not completely bankrupt. But, if this is all there is to a person’s desire for relationship, then yes it will not work. it can help only in the initial phases.
The beautiful thing about soulmates is that you often know who they are based on the energy you feel in their presence. You might feel like you’ve met them before; you might say the same thing at the same time, or run into them over and over again until it is inevitable that you connect. But the spiritual attraction you feel for that person has nothing to do with his/her looks, hobbies, occupation, or culture. Moreover, our soulmate is often the person who will help us grow the most in life by accentuating areas where we still need to develop. This can make your soulmate relationship quite a struggle at times! But it will reap the greatest rewards and unfold the most beautiful bond.