As a reply on yesterday’s diary I received a question asking what exactly I think what cheating on a partner is.
Some people say they would never indulge in sexual activities, so they are not cheating, but also with these words you need to think about where that starts. Have you set any limits to your activities? Do you only kiss, not more? If you try to argue like that, I need to say that you are cheating yourself, too, not only the other one. You did not ask your partner but you make this rule yourself: holding hands is fine. But simply the fact that you put up this rule shows that you feel yourself that you should not actually be doing that.
And with which feeling are you holding hands? Like brother and sister or like lovers? If you are holding hands like brother and sister, it is fully fine, but if you are holding hands like lovers¸ cheating already happened. It is about the feeling you have when you touch somebody, when you look at someone. Are you lying to yourself?
When you are not with your partner and you felt attraction with another woman or another man, then you need to see what you did. Did you act? And did you enjoy that? It is not a physical act of cheating, it is about the feeling with which you touched the other person’s hand, arm, lips or other body parts. It is your act and how much satisfaction you get from it. Then a small touch by the hand can already be cheating.
I am trying to make clear that I am not conservatively saying that you should not get close to other men or women. You are able to feel the difference yourself: are you touching the other woman like you would touch your mother or sister or more as you would touch your partner or lover? A kiss for a mother is very different from a kiss of attraction. Do not cheat yourself and don’t cheat others, open your eyes, talk, try to find a solution but don’t do this.
We arrived in Tornesch and were happily welcomed by Regina, Jens and Celina.
Related posts
Sharing intimate Memories with your Spouse makes your Relationship stronger – 25 Sep 16
The Source of Cheating in a Relationship – missing Love? – 5 Aug 16
Trying an open Relationship is not wrong – I just think it won’t work! – 3 Dec 15
Adventure, Thrill, Excitement and Failure of Relationships with multiple Sex Partners – 1 Dec 15
Well put Swami Ji.
I cheat with my feelings all the time. I think I just… don’t like my partner that much anymore.
My sister’s husband always says “Go ahead and look, be honest with yourself that you think that other man is sexy. At the end of the day, you’re coming home with me and that’s what matters. how you act.”
I still think the best way to keep yourself whole inside is to let go a feeling like you want something different, instead of fantacizing.