Ego and Small Annoying Habits in Relationships – 18 Jan 10

Relationships

Yesterday I talked about relationships in which two partners are close physically but not devoted to each other. In these cases, ego arises. Ego of comparing and thinking one is better, ego of thinking in terms of ‘mine’ and ‘yours’ instead of thinking of ‘ours’.

I am not saying that you should use the same toothbrush, but if it starts annoying you when your partner sits down on the chair that you usually use, you should feel a little bit deeper and see where that feeling comes from.

I said already one day that many people say in these cases ‘the spark was gone’ as the reason for them to break up. Feel yourself before you start correcting your partner about small things that don’t really matter. Have a look at your habits before you criticize the other one. And then please think: were not these habits exactly those points that you loved about the other one in the beginning of your relationship? How come this went away?

I also heard that many people have this problem after moving in together because they were used to live alone for such a long time. In this case I always recommend to really value the moments when you are together. Whether it is that you are cooking together, working at home together or sitting on the couch together in the late evening which you couldn’t do when you were living alone, far away from each other. In these moments feel inside yourself and feel the love and happiness that you have inside. Feel this love and be happy.

(3)

  1. Jeanne

    My boyfriend and I recently split. The breaking point was actually one day when he was eating dinner in the other room with his mouth open, I could hear him chewing, I just hated his little quirks. Like you said, some of them were quirks that I fell in love with at first. I have so many regrets about this, because of course we miss each other, but we’ve both already caused so much pain.Reading this makes me wonder how different it could have been if we weren’t so self-focused.

  2. Gary

    Jeanne:I unfortunately know how you feel. It is hard to come to the realization that things could have been so different. If you move forward in awareness it can get better. Be patient. Be kind to yourself and others. Don’t let ego get in the way.

  3. Emily

    Little annoyances you find in your partner should not be the reason for a breakup. When you feel annoyed with the little quirks, look deeper inside yourself and ask why you feel annoyed? It is usually your own ego and mind that cause the problem, when it is really something so small in the one you love. Ask for awareness about your own ego and forgive the one you love… look for the deeper reason why you love them and connect with them!

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