Freedom is no Excuse for Cheating – 18 Apr 10


Of course there are often people who come to healing sessions because they have difficulties in their relationship. And when they tell their story and they speak about what bothers them, I can often give them some advice, can help them to see things from another angle or tell them how I think a relationship should look like.

Being together means sharing. Here I know that most of the people think in the terms ‘mine’ or ‘yours’. I rarely meet couples that speak of ‘ours’. They think this is my money, this is my house, this is his and that is hers. In your minds you have a clear separation of property. If they live in the house of the woman’s parents, it is her house while the car which is on his name obviously is his.

However it is not even stopping with material properties! One time I heard a complaint: ‘I want freedom! I want to be able to go where I want without telling anybody, without having to give a justification for everything I do! Why do I have to ask? I will do what I want and I had enough of people telling me what I can do and what I cannot! Who is there who wants to stop me?’ From another person I even heard one step further: ‘I do whatever I want, no matter if I am morally allowed to do this or not. Even if I decide to kiss or sleep with someone else, my partner has to accept that! It is my life! And it is my body!’

Then why are you in a relationship? Are you committed to anything? You decided to live life together! That was your decision. I often see in western culture that there is an ego problem which makes it difficult for people to really devote themselves to a partner. You can see, on the name of freedom they even cheat their partner! Did you want freedom for that? This is not the right definition of freedom, then freedom is only an excuse for cheating! No, a relationship is when two people respect each other and the wish of the other one. Why do you think you don’t have freedom in your relation? When you share a relation, why is it ‘my life’? It is devotion if you can just say ‘all is yours’ and that means everything you do is just open and I tell you, this is the most beautiful feeling, in love and devotion.

Today we said good-bye to Marion, Michael and Max when Hans-Christian picked us up from Erkelenz to bring us to Bocholt where his wife Annick and their son Konstantin and one of their daughters, Sofie, was already waiting for us with a beautiful welcoming ice-cream.

5 Replies to “Freedom is no Excuse for Cheating – 18 Apr 10”

  1. I think much of the failure of relationships, jumping from one relationship to another, and cheating among couples in the West is based in a restlessness of body, mind, and Spirit. It’s a compulsively restless thrill-seeking, jumping from one thrill to the next. It comes from a failure to know how to “be still and know God.” Despite claims to … See Morebelief in reincarnation, it’s also based in the Western cultural view that “I have one life and must live it to the full,” which means maximizing a variety of sensual experiences and thrills. Westerners also fail to grasp the spiritual values which make for true compatibility, and fail also to apppreciate the sacredness of relationships of love. They often approach looking for partners with a kind of “checklist” of desirable physical and worldly characteristics. I heard divorce rates are still much lower in India than in Western countries, so the East apparently has much of value to teach Westerners on this subject.

  2. I guess that makes sense so, don’t be in a relationship if you want this kind of freedom. These feelings are not wrong, but hurting someone else is, so just be single if you want to behave like this.